akb

My elderly poodle, Allie drowned on Monday. She was basically deaf and very poor eye sight at her 19 years young. I was always paranoid she would drown. I told my family (husband and kids) to not even leave her outside for long. We have a gate around the pool but I have found times where it was left cracked and I feared she would get through by accident, wonder in and not be able to get out. My worst nightmare came true Monday. I came home from work and my husband told me she was gone. I screamed, what was he talking about. Where is she. He said she’s gone. I said what happened to her, did she drown. He said yes. And I lost it. I’m trying so hard to get over it. I’m so angry. Angry she was left out there for any period of time. Angry I wasn’t there with her when she passed. Just angry. And oh so sad. I can’t imagine her last moments of fear, panic and struggle. I’m heartbroken. I miss her. I obviously knew this day was coming with her age. But the way it happened is making it so much worse. Anyone been through something similar. my life was consumed by caring for her. Letting her out frequently, even in the night. Feeding her etc. Im lost. 19 years is such a long time and I feel like she was ripped from me unfairly. Any words of encouragement are appreciated. 

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Jan_H
I am very sorry for your loss of your sweet Allie. It is normal to feel angry and sad and lost. It is not something you just get over. You cared for her and enjoyed her for 19 years. Clearly she was very much loved and well cared for. I hope in time happy memories help ease your pain.

My condolences,
Jan
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LaGata
I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's such a shock to the system, leaving only grief and bewilderment.  The questions and what ifs.  There are no words that drive away the pain and anger.  But please know that you are not alone in this...everyone here is in some stage of loss.  I hope that you will find some peace.
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LauriP92
I cannot even imagine -knowing this was your biggest fear-that someone let her out without watching her. I'm sorry if this sounds like blame-but I would be not only so heartbroken but also so angry. This was preventable. Having a pet for 19 years makes the loss even more difficult. I am tearing up at the thought of how upset you are. I dont even know what to say this is all so unbelievable. I am so very sorry
Lauri
Lauri 
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lovedbuds
I’m so sorry, that’s awful. I lost my Buddy dog this week and my heart hurts, like literally. So I have to force myself to balance raw emotion and self-care. Given those circumstances, it’s no wonder you’re angry. Forgiveness would be quite hard. I do hope you can make peace with what happened. And that this tragedy sets a fire under your husband to get that gate fixed so that no other beloved pet (or child) dies. Please take care of yourself. My heart goes out to you.
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Pennysforevermom
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is so heartbreaking and unfair!! The fact that she was with you for 19 years shows how much you love her. Please take care of yourself. Eat and try to rest. I lost my baby on Saturday.  I understand your pain. I went from being a pet parent to a caregiver...my life revolved around her needs so I can relate to how you're feeling.
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swinginggride

I am deeply sorry for your loss. I hope you feel the love that surrounds you, now and always. Praying for your healing, comfort, strength, and peace during this painful time. 

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Pisiciul
I can hear your pain. Please find the strength in your heart. Your girl had a wonderful life with you there and, despite the tragic ending and given her age, I'm sure she did not suffer and never blamed you or your family. Hugs.
Pisiciul
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