I'm lost. Our beautiful girl, Misha, had to be put to sleep this afternoon.

All the regular things have been said but it still doesn't make it ok right now. One minute she was getting a drink of water, the next, she walked to her bed and laid down, and the vet gave her the injections with us right beside her.

I'm traumatized because one minute she was there. The next she was gone. I want more time. I miss her dearly and she's only been gone a few hours.

I can't get the picture of her body laying there on her bed, not breathing, not lifting up for a pet or a scratch. Not getting underfoot like she has for the last 13 and a half years.

I feel guilty for not being able to save her. I feel like I ordered her murder...she would have been content to stick around and continue to guard over us, to make sure we're ok.

I'm so sad, I've been crying almost constantly since she left us. I don't know what to do or how to do this. I don't have any guy friends that have done this so I'm pretty much on my own (aside from my wife and kids but I need someone outside the family unit).

Help, I'm just hurting so much.

Tarcy (not Tracy)
Misha's dad.

Sleep well, princess puppy
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I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious Misha. I share the visual of you seeing her body laying in her bed,not moving, this is the exact same one that I have, while my Bella passed on her own beside me on the couch, I still have those visions of her going through it all, I understand how upsetting it is for you. I hope your fond memories of the 13 years you shared with Misha will help ease your pain in time, grieve as long as you need to, you lost a long time companion and a wonderful friend, she is worth and deserves every single tear.

You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely, Don & Vera
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I'm finding it hard to go downstairs this morning. This will be the first time in 13 and a half years I won't get to pet her first thing and say good morning puppy pants.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Tootsie on 4/15 and I still do the same things that you're doing now. She's everywhere!!!! Sometimes we even think we hear her-I like to think she's letting us know she's still with us. Hang in there and keep checking on the boards. There is so many caring people on here who know exactly how you're feeling - you're not alone.
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I want to tell you how sorry I am that you lost Misha.
You are not alone in having a mental picture of your dog "lying there" . Six weeks ago today we said goodbye to our 12+ year old dog. He was euthanized at the vet's office during his 4th and final emergency visit in 2 weeks. It is an image that I try hard to replace with memories of healthier and happier times but I have to admit that especially on Saturdays that final mind picture creeps back in. I am actively working on this. I say aloud to myself "stop" as I don't want his death to define his life. I try to replace it with a happy memory (which also makes me cry but also smile as the tears flow)

From the reading I have done the feelings of guilt are quite common among us following the loss of our pets. I don't know the circumstances of Misha's life but I try to look upon the decision to euthanize as our last gift to our Oreo. He was weak, sick , refusing to eat and not enjoying things he typically loved like belly rubs etc. although we miss him with every fibre of our beings I don't regret releasing him from what had become a miserable existence.

Your loss is very new and the anguish of the wound very raw. Watching your Misha die is a traumatic experience. Take the time to grieve, there is no timetable. in this forum you will find people who understand exactly what you are going through, there is no judgement , only support and encouragement.
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