BigMacFan
Hi everybody, new user from UK. Yesterday my wife and I lost our precious Mouse. She and her brother were adopted by us only 10 weeks ago. Her brother Badger is more aloof and sparing with his affection, whereas Mouse once comfortable (after only 24 hours!) was so affectionate and eager to follow me around no matter what I was doing. She would wake us each day at 0600hrs by scratching and meowing at our bedroom door. Not once was I annoyed.

I let her and her brother out for their 2nd adventures of the day and as I'm a natural born worrier chose not to watch as she toddled down the road. I should have called her back with the promise of treats.

Badger came in and out, was more affectionate and vocal than usual,  Perhaps he was trying to tell me something ?

She had been out and about for an unusually long time yesterday, so I went to look for her around the neighborhood. When I couldn't find her I was not excessviely worried, shortly after this I received a call from the local vets. I immediatley knew something was wrong. The vets informed me "they had our Mouse" I asked "is she Ok ?". Sorry No she was brought in deceased came the reply. I fell to floor in pieces and floods of tears.

We visited her little body in the back room of the vets, gave her a kiss and a stroke and wrapped her in my wifes cardigan for one long lasting hug. She looked so peaceful and barely a mark on her.

I have not had fur babies in the past and if you had asked me 10 weeks ago would I have become so attached I would have almost certainly said no.

Now I am utterly distraught, typing this email I am crying. My wife and I were so in Love with her. I know we should be strong for her brother, but I can barely function. After an interupted night where Badger spent the night with us I remained in bed until 1430hrs until I was due to go to work at 1500hrs.

I'm sure Badger knows she is gone, infact I believe he would have seen her little body by the roadside after it had happened as he had probably led the expedition to the neighbouring field they would get their little rodent gifts from to present to us so proudly.

Everything in our house reminds me of her. I dont know how we and I especially will get over this ?

I know its probably unfair but we would really like to keep Badger as house cat from now on, to save us this pain again. But that is human selfishness.

In time I hope we can all agree to adopt Badger a new brother or Sister.

Thanks for listening.





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1967Pinecone
Oh no.....I have just been through this myself. In my case my Stripes was a feral cat who I'd been able to socialize somewhat but not enough to make him into a house cat. We found him probably very soon after it happened, just a bit down the road from our house.

Our other cats are 100% indoors, for this reason - but Stripes would have been miserable inside even if I'd been able to get him through the door.

It is awful. I'm so sorry that Mouse is gone. She is a beautiful girl! My worst day ever was last Wednesday, and every day since has felt terrible as well. Of course I've had animals die before, but at home, or at the vet's. This was especially traumatic. I wish I could tell you something, anything, to make you feel better, but I'm not coping either. I just feel like it was all my fault.  To make things worse just a month ago my favorite rooster, Cocoa, was killed by a possum who managed to make its way into a run we thought was predator-proof. They were in that run for several years with no problems but after the tragedy I redid the run and found weak spots that had developed where a possum could have entered. I thought I was doing everything right, but clearly I wasn't. So I've had a month of near-constant crying. 

One thing you could try with Badger is cat-proof fencing - here it's called Purrfect Fence, and they cannot climb it. It wouldn't have worked with my guy, only driven him frantic. But that way Badger could have some outdoor time without the dangers of the road.


"Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow" and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." Khalil Gibran
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camunki
I am so sorry about your sweet Mouse and I am sure getting that phone call from the vet was beyond devastating. I am happy you have Badger and yes, if you want to keep Badger as a house cat, by all means do so.

And yes, the upcoming months are by far the hardest, with many tears and meltdowns along the way. I can see you have alot of love for your sweet Mouse and never expected this to happen. For now keep Badger close to your heart and give him alot of love and let him know how much he is loved. And still "talk" to your sweet Mouse as she can hear you, she is your guardian angel now, forever loving you.

My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.

Cam


 
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CK1991
I'm sorry for your loss. This had to be such an awful shock for you to get that phone call and news that Mouse was not okay. Her photo is beautiful! Can I ask where you got Badger and Mouse? I ask because I'm wondering if they were feral cats when you got them. If not, Badger may adjust well to being indoors. He may adjust to it anyway, especially if he witnessed what happened to Mouse. My suggestion would be keeping an eye on him and if he seems contented indoors , if there is litter, etc. then he may be happy just having your house to roam. You may also notice that he may become more loving, more affectionate now.
It is so terribly hard losing a beloved pet. I'm sorry for the pain you and your family are going through at this sad loss of your precious Mouse!
Hugs to you all,
CK
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BigMacFan
Thanks for your support. To answer CK1991, both cats were domesticated. They didn't have a great start from birth. When born they were given to a rescue shelter immediately but after a while were found a new forever home. The arrival of a baby ended that hope and again they found themselves back at the shelter. My wife and I chose not to have children of our own and always said we we would get a cat.

We began this journey with the intention of homing one cat but found ourselves looking at pairs, so they could keep each other company. After visiting a foster mummy we chose Mouse and Badger.

A week later they arrived and settled so quickly and our house was full of joy made even more special as it was Christmas. My wife was ill off work for two weeks so was the lucky recepient of hugs, cuddles, kisses and company.

I was especially apprehensive about letting them out the first time but they returned ok. Badger gave us a scare when he was out for a long time. Mouse and I stayed up cuddled on the sofa keeping an eye out until the early hours. I decided to go to bed and by shear chance my wife wanted a drink in the night and checked our garage, there he was asleep in the basket he had come to us with.

Just this weekend we had a cat flap fitted and despite my reservations about the height of it, thinking they couldn't get through it was Mouse proved me wrong and was the first to exit it and teach her brother a thing or two.

This brings us up to date with Tuesday.......

Mouse was so affectionate, inquisitive and a real silly heart she loved playing, climbing all over me.

We had developed such a bond, I would come in from work and lay on our bed, one call was all that was required and she would be up on my chest kneeding dough. She would make her way up my chest and eventually deposit herself under my chin like a scarf occasionally looking back at me. She would often take time to lick my hairy arms to initiate me into her group.

I feel like we haved failed her so badly, I'm am so lost.

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1967Pinecone
I need to learn to follow my own advice and not be so hard on myself, but here goes.

You did not fail her. You did what you thought was best for her, what would make her happy. As we all do. I've tried over the past month to make peace with myself over this, and it isn't easy. There will be a LOT of tears coming, but it will get easier with time. If you think Badger would be happier and safer as an indoor cat, then let him stay indoors. As I've said, my cats are exclusively indoors and don't attempt to go outside, but they do enjoy looking at the birds from the windows and sitting in the sun. I know some people think it's cruel to make cats stay inside all the time, but I don't think that death by car, poison, bobcat, dog, coyote or cruel person is especially pleasant so our cats are housecats just as our chickens are not free-range.

And that Badger is precious! He looks just like my Inkling.
"Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow" and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." Khalil Gibran
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BigMacFan
To 1967Pinecone

Hi, Thanks for your kind words.

Had your indoor cats ever experienced freedom outdoors ?

I feel bad as Badger had even before his time with us been an outdoor cat. 

I dont want him to be stressed, but I dont want him to suffer Mouse's fate either,  which I now feel is almost invevitable being seperated from a fun field by a road.

I am investigating an outdoor "catio" run. If we get this I will feel even more heartbroken knowing it took Mouse's passing to make us wake up to this.
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1967Pinecone
Most of my cats came from the animal shelter where I worked for years. Some of them were turned in as indoor cats, and others had been found outside. I suspect that many of them were outdoor cats (a few big males who'd obviously been fighting). Generally by the time I got them they'd been at the shelter for some time and were on the kill list, so after weeks or months in a cage, my house must have seemed like paradise. Full disclosure: we have 16 cats! I did have trouble with Cloud and Myshka - they were 2 kittens found on the roadside, and for a few weeks they did try to run out the door. They are fine now.

Badger would probably love a catio! I know how you feel about it taking a tragedy like that to see things differently. That was how I felt after the possum killed Cocoa. We thought the run was safe but I found several weak spots, and then I also read that an adult possum can squeeze through 2" chain link, which was what we had. I had become complacent and Cocoa's death shook me up. But we won't make those mistakes again. Now we know and we're able to keep our remaining birds safe.

Today on my drive to work I saw a dead cat in the road who looked just like Stripes. I started bawling all over again.
"Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow" and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." Khalil Gibran
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BigMacFan
OK, so it may not be unkind to make an outside cat and inside cat for his own safety.

I am currently at work, whilst my wife is at home. She succumbed to Badgers heartwrenching "requests" to go out tonight, to her surprise he looked around our garden for 5 minutes and came back. Maybe he had to do one last check his sister wasnt with us anymore.

Earlier in the day he was acting strangely. He would approach a few of Mouse's hiding spots she would rush to when mean old me put the vacuum on, he would sniff at them then race away if about to be pounced on.

Perhaps he is re-enacting happy playtimes. Perhaps her spirit is with us.
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1967Pinecone
I really do think that my cats are content inside. Even if they would like to go out, I'm not going to put their lives at risk by letting them do so. 

I remember a woman who adopted two kittens from the shelter. We always had to ask potential adopters if they understood the leash laws, which in this county at least not only apply to dogs, but to cats, chickens, turtles, snakes and every other pet. She said, "These kittens' paws will never touch the grass. Not after yesterday." So naturally I had to ask her what had happened the day before. She told me that their cat was an indoor/outdoor cat, they let her out daily, they thought they were doing what was best for her - and then she was killed by a car, right in front of her 7 year old son. It was awful for the cat and incredibly traumatic for her and her son.

Badger's behavior is so sweet, and so sad. I like to think that Mouse is with you right now, and Badger sees her. It's funny, I had a similar experience last night. I was up on the deck after work. Stripes used to always follow me up there, and one of our cats, Jeremiah, liked to sit at the window and watch him intently, his tail whipping from side to side. I was just standing there, talking to an invisible Stripes, and Jeremiah was at the window watching SOMETHING at my feet, behaving exactly as he did when Stripes was physically present.  
"Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow" and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." Khalil Gibran
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BigMacFan
Over the course of yesterday it became so overwhelmingly obvious Badger wanted to out. We both agreed to allow him out. He was itching to go out even in the rain which was normally his cue to come home.

He went out and returned multiple times, he had been to “the field” as he returned with a vole.

As it’s a difficult time we allowed him and his new plaything inside where he was going absolutely crazy with it. After a while we took the vole oustside just Incase it started leaking.

On a brighter yet more tearful note we received kitten pics of our two babies from their first rescue encounter.

Have a tissue ready as they are the cutest.

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catiebee
Gosh, I'm sorry for your loss. What a beautiful Mouse!

I've not owned cats, but my grandmother adopted several. They never were allowed out. But they loved to sun themselves indoors and she made a way for them to see out the front window and enjoy keeping an eye on the neighborhood.

I am hearing that you both have a visceral emotional response to Badger's wanting out.  But aside from those feelings, the fact of there being a road between your home and the beloved field looms large in my mind. I would hate for you to go through this again. No judgment. Just my two cents as another pet lover who's not emotionally tied to your beloved critters.

I wish you every peace and comfort.


Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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1967Pinecone
They are adorable!

I think the catio might be your best option with Badger. I agree with Catiebee. That road is just too risky and if something happens, the pain you're going through now will seem like nothing in comparison to how you'll feel then. 

"Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow" and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." Khalil Gibran
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Dasiiy
I sorry for your lost only lost Darcy my beloved pet dog but got two wonful cats Sydnee and Annbel are outside in cat house sadly can't bring my cats because my sister and brother Sneze with cats at upset me So spead most times outside with Sydnee and Annbel try teacher called and Sit but still love my cats still love Darcy too
v.Shaw
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