ClaireBear
It has been over 13 months now since I lost my baby and this pain is still there like it was the day I lost him.  I thought it would have been easing by now?  Is anybody else finding it so hard after this long? :-(

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Susie_Squillions
Oh, ClaireBear ~

I'm so sorry the pain isn't lifting for you.  It's normal to still feel some sadness now and then, but I would hope that you are having some better days now.

Do you think there might be any chance that you're refusing to let go of the pain for fear of letting go of him?  I ask because I've seen that happen before, and it's absolutely understandable how that works.  The fact is, we never, ever let go of them as long as we live, but we can release the guilt and pain as time goes on.  Sometimes we have to force ourselves to feel better for a little while until it becomes second nature to us.  It's O.K. to heal.  Smiling and laughing again doesn't mean you are not being respectful of the one who has gone on ahead.  I believe that they want us to enjoy life, and when we aren't healing and following their example of living life to its fullest, they feel sad that we didn't learn the lesson.

Remember how our animals live their lives.  They live in the moment.  They don't dwell on sorrows or think about what they wish life were now.  They live in the here and now, making the most of what life has to offer today.  But they always remember old friends when they see them again. We could learn a lot from them, and that is one of the biggest lessons they teach us while they're here. How to roll with the punches and move forward.

Have you considered opening your heart and home to a new friend to spend your days with?  It really does help us to see that life goes on, but our memories are with us forever.  If anything, loving again makes me feel closer to my Bridge Kids because I know they had a paw in bringing me together with the new ones who have needed me. 

There are other options, too.  You could help out at a shelter a day or two a week and get a dose of fur love that way, or you could foster dogs in need.  You wouldn't have to make a life-long commitment that way, but you could get your puppy love in smaller doses and help the pups who are looking for their forever families.  It's amazing how much they can help us to heal.

I hope that something I've suggested here will help you to begin facing days that are filled with more smiles than tears. 

I'm sending you virtual hugs of comfort and healing.




My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
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In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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Susie_Squillions
Let me add this link, too.  Asking the angels for their help can go a long way in helping us to heal.

RELEASE STRESS WITH ARCHANGEL MICHAEL


It can also help to ask Archangel Raphael to help us to heal.  Ask directly, and don't be shy about it.  He is said to some to our aid almost immediately and to begin healing us right away.
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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ClaireBear
Oh Susie, you never fail to amaze me!  I think you are so right about letting him go.  Dont get me wrong, I have good and bad days, I just thought the bad days would be getting less frequent but they are still there! 
I have actually got a new friend, I have now got a beautiful black labrador.  He has helped me so much to get over the loss of Gromit, dont think I ever would have done otherwise.  But the pain is still there. 
You always make me see things differently you know, I could do with you on hand 24/7!!  Thank you so much for your kind words xxx

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Susie_Squillions
O.K.  I thought your Lab had come along since Gromit left, but sometimes I need a gentle reminder. LOL

It takes time for those sad episodes to settle, and even then, they can pop up every now and then when a familiar situation arises.  I guess that's the price we pay for having loved so well.  I found a book I want to order that was written by Reeve Lindbergh, the daughter of Charles Lindbergh and Anne Morrow Lindbergh.  It's called No More Words.  I read an excerpt on line that had to do with sorrow. 

As we all know, the Lindberghs lost their son in 1932 when he was kidnapped and (presumably) murdered.  After Reeve became a mother, she lost a daughter to illness. In this book, she talks about a conversation she had with her mom shortly after that happened.

Anne said to her daughter, "This horror will fade, I can promise you that.  The horror fades.  The sadness, though, is different.  The sadness remains..."

Reeve goes on to describe how the sadness became like a member of the family, or like the family dog, hiding in corners for long naps.  She also writes about welcoming it at certain times to sit with her for long conversations.  Such beauty in her words!

It's important for all of us to remember that the sadness is not always a curse.  Sometimes it is a welcome friend, reminding us of the love we shared with our angels.  It can help us feel closer to them our whole lives long as long as we don't give it too much power.  Eventually, after a visit with it, we are ready let it return to wherever it dwells from day to day and welcome the love to sit with us a while.  It's all in the yin and yang of life, and it looks like that's a part of what the new normal is for so many of us.


My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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