Jerichosmom
On May 29th, my 13 year old grey tuxedo cat Jericho crossed the Rainbow Bridge.
I starting typing his medical history but in the end all that matters is that I chose to euthanize him to spare him invasive procedures and more medications. He wasn't suffering all the time but had lost his appetite or was throwing up, lost 60% of his body weight, could no longer jump up to his cat condo and started sleeping under the couch or behind the tv, which he's never done. I was there when he passed and had him cremated and have his ashes in a simple bamboo box on my mantle.

I live with intense guilt and remorse and cry constantly. He was my everything. I don't have any friends and few family members. When I wake up and realize he's not with me, I cry. When I come home and see that he is not there to greet me, I cry. At night I cry most of the time and eventually fall asleep at around 4:30am.

I've always had vivid dreams and remember them but I have not had any with him since he's passed. I feel that he is mad and hurt that I let him go and that just makes me cry more. I've read of people sensing their passed pets' presence but I haven't felt that.

I don't know if I can handle this intense pain much longer. How has everyone else coped?
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Moni
Sorry for your loss.I lost my dog Jose on Monday. I had him cremated but I couldn't afford his ashes.I They. Did make a paw print which I should be getter soon.He was my baby for almost 17 years and I am finally not crying so much and know I did the best thing for my babyFinding this website has been wonderful YOu are nort alone and it will get better.IYou have friends here If you need someone to vent. or cry to send me a message Be strong
Monica Cisneros
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kayeen
What a sad story, it makes me cry. I know it hurt to loss the important thing,  but remember that you have friend that comfort you, and be strong.
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Jerichosmom
Thank you moni and kayeen, your words of comfort and understanding mean so much to me. I am grateful that you have taken the time to send me your well wishes.
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miztina249
Jerichosmom

I don't know how I missed your post. I am so sorry for your loss and can very much relate to everything you are saying.

How are you holding up?

Big cyber hugs to you,

Chris
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jimmy17
I am so very sorry for your loss of Jericho. Believe me when I say that I ( and everyone here) understands your grief totally - the guilt, tears and being unable to sleep.  Grief is all consuming, especially during the first few difficult weeks and months, and sometimes it can seem as if it`ll be impossible to feel "normal" ever again.  I lost my little dog just over 18 months ago, and the pain was unbelievable - if anyone told me then that I would be able to get through and be able to look back and smile again I wouldn`t have thought it possible - he was the absolute love of my life, and as my husband and I never had children he truly was like our child.     But very slowly things did get better ( writing everything down in a journal helped so much), and I got to the point where I was able to look back and appreciate all the time we shared with him, and that we gave him a beautiful life full of love and care - just as I`m sure you gave to Jericho.   Don`t worry that he is mad at you, he knows that you did everything possible for him, and that you didn`t want him to suffer - letting him go peacefully is the greatest last gift of love you gave to him, and he would thank you so much for sparing him pain and discomfort.    Sometimes it can take a long time for us to dream about them - but you will eventually, and receive little signs from him to let you know he is okay.  Take care,

                                                                        Hugs, Jackie
J Taylor
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