Today has been ten days since my baby passed on, and 17 days since I touched her velvet ears, kissed her wet, cold nose. This has officially been the longest time being away from her. It hurts so much, I can't stop thinking about her.. I miss her terribly!! I have her toys beside me, and her pictures everywhere. I need her here with me, I try and put on a smile around my husband and family, but I'm dying on the inside. It's hard to pretend I'm ok and moving on. In all reality I want to cry until I can't anymore..
I'm still waiting on her ashes, they are in Nebraska, while I'm here in California.. I want her now!! Have to wait though.
I'm just numb, I want to go back in time, five years maybe.. play more with her, extra cuddles, extra kisses. She was my best friend since I was 9!!! I had 16 wonderful years with her, now it's just a memory. (Sigh)
My love, my best friend.
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I am so very sorry for your loss.  Your baby isnt just a memory she is more than that.  She is still with you in spirit and in your heart for always.
We are all here for you my friend and we feel your loss xx
Love Julie x
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I found the following when I was asking myself that same question ...


“How long will the pain last?” A broken-hearted mourner asked me. 

“All the rest of your life.” I had to answer truthfully. We never quite forget.
No matter how many years pass, we remember.

The loss of a loved one is like a major operation; part of us is removed,
and we have a scar for the rest of our lives.

This does not mean that the pain continues at the same intensity. There is a short while, at first, when we hardly believe it; it is rather like when we have cut our hand, we see the blood flowing, but the pain has not set in yet.

So when we are bereaved, there is a short while before the pain hits us.
But when it does, it is massive in its effect. Grief is shattering.

Then the wound begins to heal. It is like going through a dark tunnel. Occasionally we glimpse a bit of light up ahead, then we lose sight of it a while, then see it again, and one day we merge into the light. We are able to laugh, to care, to live.

The wound is healed so to speak, the stitches are taken out, and we are whole again. But not quite. The scar is still there, and the scar tissue too.

As the years go by, we manage.There are things to do, people to care for, tasks that call for full attention.But the pain is still there, not far below the surface. We see a face that looks familiar, hear a voice that has echoes, see a photograph in someone’s album, see a landscape that once we saw together, and it is as though the knife were in the wound again. But not so painfully. And mixed with joy too.

Because remembering a happy time is not all sorrow; it brings back happiness with it.

As a matter of fact, we even seek such moments of bittersweet remembrance. We have our religious memories and our memorial days, and our visits to the cemetery.And though these bring back the pain, they bring back memories of joy as well.

How long will the pain last?

All the rest of your life.

But the thing to remember is that not only the pain will last, but the blessed memories as well. Tears are the proof of life.The more love, the more tears.If this be true,then how could we ever ask that the pain cease altogether?For then the memory of love would go with it.

The pain of grief is the price we pay for love

Author Unknown

"There is no such thing as 'just a cat'." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me." - Kermit the Frog

"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." - Gandalf
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JP this is so beautiful and so very true.<br><br>The more we Love the more we hurt.<br>You are a very wise man.<br><br>To tipperdipper-<br>The pain changes - it gets easier, maybe not better<br>exactly but it does get easier just very slowly<br>over time.<br><br>You are in my thoughts.<br><br>Susan(heartsick)
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Thanks JP, thanks heartsick and Julie!

I needed to hear this.
My love, my best friend.
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