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codysmum102
Danzey I did the candle ceremony not this past Monday but the one before.  I saved the 3 candles from it.  It did help.  I was going to do it again this past Monday but we were flying home from Pennsylvania where we went for my mother-in-laws funeral so I didn't get chance but I want to try this coming Monday. I do feel as though I am struggling just to exist anymore.  I try to keep busy but something always happens to remind me of him and then I cry.   Nothing is important anymore I'm just going through the motions. :-(
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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Totallylost
I understand how you feel.  When my Rusty passed I was devastated.   Nothing mattered anymore.  I just existed.  I said I could never get another cat, Rusty was too special to me.  Well a relative asked me to go to a physic.  I didn't want to but thought why not I have nothing else to do.   She isn't a professional just someone that has a gift and doesnt ask for any money.   I went to her and she couldn't get anything at first (I should say that she had never met me and didn't know anything about me)  All of a sudden she said I see an orange cat with a black cat (my sheba passed 6 years ago).  She said he doesn't want you to be sad and that you should get another litter box because you are going to get another cat.  She said it will be a tortoiseshell, with a beige spot on its forehead and a small bit of white on one paw and she will be over a year.   She said several other things about my home that only Rusty would have known.   I thought no I don't want another cat.  Well I was in Pet Smart and they have Infinite Woof Rescue cats and there was this little cat that looked so scared and she was exactly as Rusty had described.   I went back 3 times before I got her.   I thought it was too soon - 2 1/2 months.  But I ended up getting her.  She hid under the couch for a while, but now she sits on my lap, but she stayed on my bed each night from day one.    She is funny and makes me laugh.  I still cry everyday over Rusty, he can never be replaced, but I know he sent her to me.   The day I decided to get her I thought about her new name and it came to me, as if Rusty was telling me.   No one will ever replace your lost pet but I now know that she needed me as much as I needed her.  I used to give Rusty pills at 5:30 am and 5:30 pm every day and I still look at the time and think it is time for your pills, but he isn't there.   Your pet will come to you and comfort you, but you might not realize it right now.   But consider getting another rescue.   I never thought I would but I did and I am glad I did.   Take care.
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codysmum102
I gave my Cody his meds at 7 am, 3 pm, 7pm and 11pm. I had my phone alarm set. I'm glad you found happiness with another pet. My husband thinks someday he may want another dog too. I don't know. I wouldn't stop him from getting one but it would have to be his dog. Sleep with him and his responsibility not mine. I can't get that close again.
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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Totallylost
You know I thought that, but it surprising how soon they get to you.    I am so sorry for your loss.   As I write to you I am crying for my Rusty, but I know that he is no longer in pain and he is by my side in spirit.   Take care. 
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ShadowDad
My sister had a Chihuahua for 16 years and after she passed had two more dogs within two weeks. Even though we share the same blood, I could never understand how she did it. Shadow was my once in a lifetime girl. I know in my heart that I could never love another the way I loved Shadow and it would not be fair to the dog. I was put on this earth to find, love, and care for my angel and only her.
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codysmum102
I think that whatever works for you as an individual is what you should do. Some may be able to open their heart to another animal. Some may not. I feel at my age that I just don't have the strength or energy to go through the stress of having a sick animal. I was on a forum for animals with seizures before I knew Cody had a brain tumor. Some people on there had dogs that were 1 and 2 years old that were having seizures. Their lives were filled with stress for trying to take care of them and afford their care and not want to put them down because they are young and other than the seizres they are fine so for the rest of their oets life they will live with the stress and uncertainty of not knowing if this set of seizures will do their babies in.

I went through less time than that and I was a mess. Trying to give him medicine when I couldn't even get him to eat or drink, worrying constantly, second guessing your decisions and those of the doctors, dying a little each time I had to bring him to the emergency room wondering if they could get the seizures to stop and I could bring him home again, visiting him in the hospital and seeing him hooked to an IV and his sad face when I had to leave him there another night. Then the anticipatory grief of knowing the tumor was going to take him at any time then having to let him go and suffer through this pain and emptiness. I can not put myself through that again. But that's just me. No dog other than my Cody is worth giving my heart and soul to.
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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Totallylost
I understand.   Try to remember the good times with Shadow and remember to take care of yourself.
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Lalf
Shawdowdad

Thanks for sharing your pics . I still cannot look at photos or videos of my little boy gizmo who passed on 8/25/19. I still have his meds bowls blankets and items I cannot touch . So many things for such a little dog that left such a hole in my heart . Our babies are part of us and that never changes . Your shawdow was adorable and will live in your heart forever
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Gigster
I'm so sorry for your loss. As time moves on I think we're more aware of how empty the house really is without our babies. You and Cody shared such a special bond. Just remember, it's okay to hurt for as long as you need. Losing a best friend is so hard, one can't expect you to be over it so soon. Please take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to share more memories of Cody if it helps. 😉

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codysmum102
Thank you Gigster.  I think you are right about being more aware now of the emptiness.  At first I think I was numb but as time goes on I see more and more what a huge hole he has left.  It does help to talk on the forum to people who are willing to listen for as long as you want to talk. 
Julie
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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Lillymylove
Believe me it’s going to hurt after 2 years after 3 weeks your still in shock and as time goes on that initial grief subsides but you still miss them every single day and you know what, that’s ok because we never forget them and they’re reminding us they’re  still around,  take care Dave
David 
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Faceinyou
ShadowDad wrote:
Hey Codysmum, so very sorry for your pain. It is the hardest thing to do living without our angels. It has been 10 weeks and I still cry every day. A picture, a song is all it takes to start it again as the pain is just under the surface. It's like living in a dream, and not a good one. Life seems lifeless and meaningless and its hard to get up in the morning knowing that it's just waiting for you again. I know it's worth the pain having had them in our lives, but it is a devastating, sudden, and earth shattering shock when our physical bonds are broken with our babies. There is no way to prepare for the train wreck that comes when they pass, and we are left floundering and treading water in an immense lonely ocean with no sight of land. Keep reaching out and talking about your baby. You will pick up the bits to help you along the way. I will close with these words: Shadow, I loved you more than anyone on this earth. The day you left me was the end of my life. I miss you everyday and I want the world to know who you were and what you meant to me!! I LOVE YOU SHADOW!!!


That’s just incredibly beautiful what you said and mean about Shadow!!!! A beautiful dog !!!! I wish I got the chance to meet Shadow and everyone’s pets here that love them so much. I miss my Toby ...him and my dog jasper love of my life !!!
Toby’s Dad
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codysmum102
It is one month today that my sweet Cody passed. It seems like the 11 years I had him went in a flash but this month has gone so slowly The hurt feels like it happened yesterday but the pain just seems to be dragging on and on. I try to keep busy but there's only so much you can do in a day and when you stop the memories and the sadness come rushing back. I miss my baby boy so very much. 💔 😭 Mommy loves you precious boy and I always will. You were and are the best baby ever and there will never be another dog as perfect for me as you. Mommy feels so lost without you and has never been so sad. I know you're in a better place waiting patiently like you always did for your mommy to come home to you. You are my angel.
XXXOOO 😘
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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BelovedBuster

Codysmum…. I'm so sorry for your loss..
It has been 16 days since Buster (16 yr. old cat) died (Feb. 8th) and I miss him terribly.. This has been, by far, the worst pet loss I've been thru.. I've lost 4 before Buster..
You wrote "I'm more devastated now than I was when my parents passed."... I feel the same way..

Several years ago even my mother in law told me she had more trouble dealing with the loss of her cats than when her parents died... It IS a different kind of loss, and I suspect a Lot of people would agree that in so many ways it is Worse than losing some human family members.. We received unconditional love from our furry family members.. No judgement, just total acceptance and love... Can't say that about people !
I hate coming back to the house from wherever I've gone cause Buster's not here and have tears rolling down my face by the time I reach my driveway... I miss him even More around the house Now than right after he died... It is torture.. Everything is seen as a Before Buster died and After he died... I don't know if that makes any sense..
Anyway, just know there are others who totally understand how you feel... 

I'll never feel normal again...
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codysmum102
BelovedBuster,
You totally make sense. It was 6 weeks for me last Saturday and I am missing him more than ever. It's like you said they were such a big part of our lives that everything I do everywhere I go some way reminds me of him. There is no escaping the emptiness, loneliness and overwhelming sadness. Cody and I were so close especially the last three and a half years of his life. I was lucky enough to be able to retire July of 2016 and got to spend a lot of time with him. Those years went by too quickly and now he's gone. It's left such a huge hole in both my heart and my day to day life that I literally don't know what to do with myself. I go places to get out of the house but end up just wanting to come home and then when I get home my boy isn't waiting for me. He was my little white shadow and followed me everywhere so no matter where I am in the house it reminds me of him. It really sucks. I'm hoping things will get less terrible eventually. Right now it would just be nice to go one whole day without crying and being so overwhelmingly sad.
Take care if yourself and hang in there,
Julie
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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