katndogs
If there are any Christians out here, if you have any answers please respond. I am desperate to understand why God would allow my poor dog to get mauled and go through so much pain because of me. I apoligize for this being so long.

My veterinarian told me 2 years ago I should put my GSD Martina to sleep, but I just couldn’t do it. I also haven’t wanted to try and rehome her because I was already her 4th home (not because of aggression) and I hated the thought of her going to another home and then what if they gave her away, 5th home, 6th home, etc. Also, there would be the liability factor if she did something. The 1st year with her was awesome, Kobe and Martina were best buds and she was fine with Angel (11 yrs at the time). Then the 2nd year she attacked Angel with no warning and tried to kill her. The same year she attacked Kobe when he cried out in pain because he hurt his leg. After that I had to start playing musical dogs with baby gates and dog crates. But I am human and getting older and sometimes I make mistakes, a door not shut tightly, a gate not shut and it happens again. I talked to the animal behaviorist and put her on Prozac. She was on Prozac for 2 years and it didn’t help. I made a mistake and Angel got attacked again. This time was worse, I couldn’t get Martina off Angel and was screaming and had neighbors come running trying to help me. It is so horrific to watch your dog being dragged and shaken and screaming. Angel was sown up again and survived. Then a year later it happened again. It happens so fast, if she just even sees Angel, it is on in a split second. This last time Angel really got torn up worse and it is a miracle she is alive, she is 17 now. After that time I really considered trying to find her another home but just couldn’t do it. I talked to people in rescue and one lady convinced me to keep her. She said that because it was so traumatic she didn’t think I would make any more ‘mistakes’ and I kind of thought she was right and have just tried to be extra careful but it is nerve racking all the time. Recently, I fell down and hurt myself while walking Martina because a dog ran out at us and I was trying to run away so she wouldn’t hurt the other dog. She also just attacked another rescue because he pushed open the baby gate. Luckily this was in the house and I was able to throw a bucket of water over her and stop it. I finally came to the decision to put Martina to sleep and made an appointment for a week later.
On a nice sat. afternoon 2 weeks ago I veered from my regular routine of putting Martina in a crate while I let my other 3 dogs out. It was their after dinner potty time and I thought it would be nice to let Angel out by herself for a change, the 2 boy dogs could be a bit rambuncious. So I let her out and went back in to do something else. Usually, when I would let all 3 out I would stand there to let Angel in right away. So then totally forgetting I had left Angel outside, I went to let Martina out. The second I opened the door I realized what I had done but it was too late.. Martin immediately went for the neck and starting trying to kill her. It was so horrible, I can still hear Angel screaming. I tried the hose that didn't work. Then I was beating Martina over the head with a shovel and she finally let go.
I managed to get Angel to the emergency vet but they said she was severely injured and at her age it was too much for her. I didn't want her to go through any more pain and had to have her put to sleep. On Monday I put Martina to sleep.
My friends say it wasn't my fault, but I can't hear that. It was my fault, Angel trusted me to keep her safe. I promised her she would never have to be near that dog again. I loved her so much, she had been with me for 17 yrs and even though she had some old age problems it wasn't time for her to go.
I just don't understand if God loves me and cares for me, why wouldn't he have reminded me she was outside. Why would he let Angel get killed like that. Why would he want that on my conscience. This has really shaken my faith. They say there are lessons to be learned in everything. Was I too prideful, thinking I could handle everything. Why didn't I listen to the vet, why didn't I re-home her. Why hadn't I put Angel to sleep (she was having problems), why, why, why.....
I am really struggling with my faith now.... I don't think I would have been if I was sick or lost my job or something but this is different. It's like the people that forget their child in a hot car, how do you ever reconcile that. I am tortured seeing it over and over in my head.......
My poor poor Angel didn't deserve that......





 

KP
Quote 0 0
Jessica99
My cat Elliott showed symptoms of an illness two days before he died. At the hospital said to put him down but me and my family didn't want that, Elliott deserved to live longer, he was only 3. So we put him through treatment (his vet gave us the choice) and I feel that I let my religious beliefs take over and not think about what Elliott was going through at that moment. I thought that Elliott was somehow going to miraculously get better, because nothing is impossible for God. But God had other plans and I blame myself for being so selfish and it really hurts. I want my baby back and I feel like I don't deserve to enjoy anything I do or eat. It get hard to eat because my mind is like "my baby isn't eating so why should I?"
Quote 0 0
katndogs
I understand your pain Jessica. I am so sorry.
KP
Quote 0 0
Jessica99
But all I can do now is make sure to put Elliott in everything I do and sometimes i think no matter what I include his name and honor in it will never be enough to show how sorry I am.
Quote 0 0
Jessica99
But let's do our best to get through this together :)
Quote 0 0
rainbowbridge
Please don't blame the Lord. He was reminding you. He told you quite a few times what to do but you didn't listen. He gave us free will and you chose what to do. You made your decisions. That doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a human being who made a wrong decision.

What a horrible thing to go through. I am so very sorry. Please ask our loving Father to help you with Guilt and remorse because right now good old Satan is having a great time with you. He is causing your awful incident to control you and blame God.

I am praying for you that you see the truth. A terrible incident happened and you can't change it. I love the Serenity prayer at times like this. Forgive yourself and make something good out of this incident in your baby's name. Speak up about it. Do a page on Educating people..don't let your baby's death be in vain.
God Bless you.
Ginny
Quote 0 0
Iwalt22
How awful what you have been through and what you had to see. 

From what I read though you were doing what you were doing out of love.  You gave Martina a life when she likely wouldn't have had one elsewhere.  I'm so sorry your pups didn't get along and it ended so badly. 

God tries all of us.  The Bible shows many examples of Him trying his servants.  Its not our place to question what He does with us.  Martina was the way He made her.  You gave her love when no one else would.  Angel and Martina are at peace now.  I hope you find some peace as well.    
Quote 0 0
katndogs
Thank you both. I am trying to stick with God and I understand we will have hard things in this world but I prayed for Angel's and all my animals protection everyday. She shouldn't have had to go through that because of my mistake. I would feel different if I had lost my job or got sick or something. I would be crying out to him for help but this is different. Even though I made the mistake, he could have stopped it, why would he have let Angel suffer so horrifically. How do I get it out of my head. Everytime I read or hear how he loves me and takes care of me I question then why would he have let this happen to her?
I just don't know how to lean on him right now.......
KP
Quote 0 0
rainbowbridge
Have you asked him?
Quote 0 0
katndogs
I have over and over for the last 2 weeks 😿
KP
Quote 0 0
Sil
katndogs,

I am sorry that you are suffering and that you are asking God for answers.  But, sometimes, "accidents", "events', "circumstances" happen  and they are out of our control.  You were doing everything that you could to keep them safe.  

Again, I am sorry for your loss.  




Quote 0 0
katndogs
Thank you Sil
KP
Quote 0 0
xxcesarxx
I believe I have the answer for you. God is sovereign. Nothing happenes unless he allows it to happen . Plse look up John Piper the sovereignty of God. ( youtube).
Quote 0 0