Romeos_Daddy
I lost my Romeo 7 weeks and 4 days ago.  I still count in days since he's left. I miss him so much that the thought of him brings instant tears, no matter where I am or who I am with and I feel like I can't breath. I long to see him again and beg every night that I see or feel something. Something that let's me know he is ok, wherever he is now or even a recollection of a memory through a dream. But ever night, when I think of him I am filled with sadness instead of hope and in the morning when I wake with no memory of a dream or vision I get more depressed or hopeless wondering why my best friend who shadowed me everywhere I went and slept next to me for 15 years can't or won't find me now.  
I hear so many stories of others getting comfort from a vision or a sensation or something that their lost baby gives them and I wonder what's wrong with me and why I can't get this relief.  
My wife has dreamt of Romeo recently but I have not. She had a dream recently with him and they were talking and she told him he needed to get in my head and she was suddenly woken up by me, next to her, waking up and moving.
I still smell his blanket, which I keep sealed air tight next to my bed, just to feel close to him again. 
If there are any tips or advice that anyone has that has worked in the past I am all ears.  I am worried that my grief won't allow me to experience this right now and my worry is that there is no end in sight for my grief and thus no hope to dream or be visited by my baby. Forever has never seemed so far away.

A.


Rome bed edited shrinked.jpg
  Romeo Engraving shirinked.jpg
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lettersatlarge

I'm so sorry. I lost mine a week ago, and yet I also haven't had a dream of my baby, either.

 

Perhaps we're not ready yet, and they'll come to us soon. I wonder if my baby just can't bear to see me so sad, still.

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Romeos_Daddy
I wonder the same thing lettersatlarge. Most people can't stand to be around me right now due to the sadness I feel I project. It's been 7 weeks and sometimes it feels like just 7 hours have past since..
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jysato78
I can understand your grief completely.  I lost my dog Hunter over 2 years ago, and I still miss him everyday.  For a while, I wasn't sure how I was gonna make it without him because he'd been my one and only constant companion for 10 years.  I attended pet loss group therapy sessions.  That helped a little knowing that I wasn't the only one going through the pain.  But I still felt so much pain and emptiness.  As they say, time does heal, and I no longer cry everyday over his death.  Hunter visits me often in my dreams.  I went to see a psychic last week to get in touch with him.  I asked him why Hunter hasn't visited while I'm awake.  I wish he'd just appear and snuggle up to me.  The psychic told me that Hunter will never visit me like that, but he'll continue to appear in my dreams.  And of course, when my time comes, I'll be reunited with him.  I don't know if you believe in psychic mediums or in the afterlife, but I got a good amount of relief after my session.  I've kept his half eaten treat, bowls, collars, toys, etc.  My truck is still filled with his fur.  I can't bring myself to let them go.  I couldn't go to sleep without his collar and blanket.  It's amazing how strong the bond is.  He's the love of my life.

P.S. His pictures are adorable!
Jane Sato
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RavenHawke
I didn't get a dream until I asked God for one. But then it happened. I don't know if you believe or not but it never hurts to ask him. Confide in him and he will let you know your loved ones are ok
"Life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some are happy and some are exciting. But if you never turn the page, you will never know what the next chapter has in store for you."
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teenyweenybb
That's two nice pics of Romeo. He looks like such a loving dog. I believe he will come to you in your dreams. Maybe he already has and you don't remember the dream. But give it time. We have all of eternity eventually when we all pass away to be with ones we loved. I also recommend you do a search on Google for Pets and the afterlife. I found some really beautiful thoughts/ideas from psychics. Am very religious but also believe in many other things, including psychics.

For two years or so while my Lexus pooch was alive I used to wonder to myself, "How will it be when I meet Lexus in Heaven?" Finally I realized that God knows that being with her always would be too much for me. I need solitude and think Lexus needs solitude too. God has it worked out that there will be occasional and very beautiful meetings planned. And I need to work hard to accept that. She is running away now because she sees the absence of pain at the new place she has found. Give it time and I know she will be with me more. In heaven as on earth dogs have unconditional love. She still loves me. And my affection will never die. Love is eternal.  Peace for you. And peace to Romeo, who has now found some more places to rest.

We love you Lexus, our sweetypeety poo. Fur baby!
our love baby
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Mistysmama
Romeo is such a beautiful dog. He has a strong loving pure Soul which just shines out of his eyes.

When my Misty left it was some weeks before I first had a definite contact with her. I didn't 100% believe in life after death at the time. I just kept an open mind. Then one evening while I was just watching some random video, I suddenly sensed her love and her character. It wasn't even a dream, it was just like I felt a 'rush' of her energy in the room where I was sitting.
Okay that has happened a lot of times since then (in almost 5 years) But in all that time there were only about 2 dreams that I can say were almost certainly her direct contact.

There is nothing wrong with you and nothing wrong in your genuine grieving and emotion and sadness. Don't you ever think you have to grieve in any special way or that you're not good enough because that isn't true.
Romeo loves you for who you are. Don't try to be who you are not. Whatever you are is okay with him because he loves you. Just remember that.
Unconditional love. That's what they feel for us and know we feel the same for them.

But, that said, try to find some times if you can when you focus on him and make the focus kind of 'pure' so there is just love in it and not too much worry or panic etc. That will make it easier for him to connect with you now.
I call it that "secret sacred space in the Heart" which is shared by just the two of you. I can often find it when on a lone walk in a place which was special to my Misty.
Then send out the love to him. Don't expect anything, just do it from your heart just because you can.

Someone mentioned about God....
Okay well the most definitive connection I ever had with my Misty, was the morning after I had prayed in a little quiet church. I had prayed honestly for some help to know if she was truly okay. And I was given the most beautiful and amazing confirmation of that at 9am the next morning!
But Misty always loved that little church. She used to encourage me to go in it when we went for a walk. For two years I could still find her dog hairs on the red carpet-runner by the altar.
So don't give up on God.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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Romeos_Daddy
jysato78 wrote:
I can understand your grief completely.  I lost my dog Hunter over 2 years ago, and I still miss him everyday.  For a while, I wasn't sure how I was gonna make it without him because he'd been my one and only constant companion for 10 years.  I attended pet loss group therapy sessions.  That helped a little knowing that I wasn't the only one going through the pain.  But I still felt so much pain and emptiness.  As they say, time does heal, and I no longer cry everyday over his death.  Hunter visits me often in my dreams.  I went to see a psychic last week to get in touch with him.  I asked him why Hunter hasn't visited while I'm awake.  I wish he'd just appear and snuggle up to me.  The psychic told me that Hunter will never visit me like that, but he'll continue to appear in my dreams.  And of course, when my time comes, I'll be reunited with him.  I don't know if you believe in psychic mediums or in the afterlife, but I got a good amount of relief after my session.  I've kept his half eaten treat, bowls, collars, toys, etc.  My truck is still filled with his fur.  I can't bring myself to let them go.  I couldn't go to sleep without his collar and blanket.  It's amazing how strong the bond is.  He's the love of my life.

P.S. His pictures are adorable!


Jane - thank you.  I find myself digging through couch cushions and under the bed to find Romeo's hair so I can keep some part of him.  I had a locket necklace made with an etched photo of him and some words on the back. There is a place to put some ashes and I wear it everyday, just to feel closer to Romeo.  I can pull it out and give it a kiss when I need to.  What I would give for one more hug and a kiss on his muzzle.
I am open to a lot of things, spiritual-wise, but I worry about finding a reputable person who won't take advantage of me while I am grieving so much.
You guys and your posts are my therapy to work through this, finding some comfort in the fact that I am far from alone with my feelings.  Just hoping for the day to come when I can get through the whole thing without crying or getting that lump in the throat feeling as I push back the sadness.

A.
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Romeos_Daddy
Mistysmama wrote:
Romeo is such a beautiful dog. He has a strong loving pure Soul which just shines out of his eyes.

When my Misty left it was some weeks before I first had a definite contact with her. I didn't 100% believe in life after death at the time. I just kept an open mind. Then one evening while I was just watching some random video, I suddenly sensed her love and her character. It wasn't even a dream, it was just like I felt a 'rush' of her energy in the room where I was sitting.
Okay that has happened a lot of times since then (in almost 5 years) But in all that time there were only about 2 dreams that I can say were almost certainly her direct contact.

There is nothing wrong with you and nothing wrong in your genuine grieving and emotion and sadness. Don't you ever think you have to grieve in any special way or that you're not good enough because that isn't true.
Romeo loves you for who you are. Don't try to be who you are not. Whatever you are is okay with him because he loves you. Just remember that.
Unconditional love. That's what they feel for us and know we feel the same for them.

But, that said, try to find some times if you can when you focus on him and make the focus kind of 'pure' so there is just love in it and not too much worry or panic etc. That will make it easier for him to connect with you now.
I call it that "secret sacred space in the Heart" which is shared by just the two of you. I can often find it when on a lone walk in a place which was special to my Misty.
Then send out the love to him. Don't expect anything, just do it from your heart just because you can.

Someone mentioned about God....
Okay well the most definitive connection I ever had with my Misty, was the morning after I had prayed in a little quiet church. I had prayed honestly for some help to know if she was truly okay. And I was given the most beautiful and amazing confirmation of that at 9am the next morning!
But Misty always loved that little church. She used to encourage me to go in it when we went for a walk. For two years I could still find her dog hairs on the red carpet-runner by the altar.
So don't give up on God.


Mistymama - Thank you for your kind words.  Romeo has such a sweet spirit and one look from him would melt you. He did this often to people next to us at stop lights.

I haven't given up yet.  I have trouble recalling dreams in the past but was hoping with Romeo gone from me physically that there might be opportunity to see or feel him spiritually.  I agree with you about the secret sacred place but when I try to focus, it's only seconds before I get overwhelmed with sadness  and that quickly becomes all consuming and I loose the happy love thoughts I had started with.  I go through this every night, attempting to be thankful and connect with god and the peace that comes when you truly feel thankful.  I am so thankful I got 15 full years with Rome. I always worried throughout that some how I would lose him too early (insert worst fear here) and I felt blessed we made it as far as we did. I know there are many who did not get this long of a time with their fur baby.  It's just getting that feeling to last is hard when it gets over shadowed by the grief. I liken it to the sun and clouds - I am thankful, like the sun that shines bright but on cloudy (sad) days/moments, it's hard to feel the warmth of the sun/thankful because the clouds block it.  The sun still shines but you can't feel it.  I am still so thankful but it's hard to feel anything but sadness and loneliness.
Can I ask - what was your confirmation the following day at 9am?
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Romeos_Daddy
teenyweenybb wrote:
That's two nice pics of Romeo. He looks like such a loving dog. I believe he will come to you in your dreams. Maybe he already has and you don't remember the dream. But give it time. We have all of eternity eventually when we all pass away to be with ones we loved. I also recommend you do a search on Google for Pets and the afterlife. I found some really beautiful thoughts/ideas from psychics. Am very religious but also believe in many other things, including psychics.

For two years or so while my Lexus pooch was alive I used to wonder to myself, "How will it be when I meet Lexus in Heaven?" Finally I realized that God knows that being with her always would be too much for me. I need solitude and think Lexus needs solitude too. God has it worked out that there will be occasional and very beautiful meetings planned. And I need to work hard to accept that. She is running away now because she sees the absence of pain at the new place she has found. Give it time and I know she will be with me more. In heaven as on earth dogs have unconditional love. She still loves me. And my affection will never die. Love is eternal.  Peace for you. And peace to Romeo, who has now found some more places to rest.

We love you Lexus, our sweetypeety poo. Fur baby!


Thank you. It sounds like Lexus was such a wonderful girl.  

I named him Romeo because he was such a lover boy, ever since the day I first got him. I picked him up and he just melted my heart, fell asleep in my lap and came home with me the next day. He loved people so much that I always thought he thought he was one. Whenever we would meet someone new, he always wanted to love the person and have them love him and he could care less about their dog they had with them.

I am concerned that I may be having but I am not remembering my dreams too.  I've tried keeping a notepad and pen next to my bed to write down any thing that may come up during the night. I read somewhere that you should write down triggers to help recall your dreams so I have "What did you dream" on a sign that is next to my bed so it is the first thing I see when I wake up.  I still wake up on and off all night because during the last months he would have accidents in the room so I am still on high alert for any sound. I have Romeo's picture, collar and ashes next to my bed but still no signs that I can tell.

Patiently waiting.

A.
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Romeos_Daddy
RavenHawke wrote:
I didn't get a dream until I asked God for one. But then it happened. I don't know if you believe or not but it never hurts to ask him. Confide in him and he will let you know your loved ones are ok


I have asked God.  Maybe he doesn't think I am ready yet?

A.
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RavenHawke
Maybe you aren't but we don't know his plan. Only God knows when we are ready. It was about week after my girl passed that I prayed for a dream. I had them but couldn't remember the details, I knew she was there but it was hard to recall. So I asked to remember and I woke up and remembered her being there. It was brief but she was there and then I broke down again. So I think sometimes we want to see them so badly but God knows it will hurt also. Just confide in God. I will break down and just talk to God and then I will suddenly stop crying and feel at ease. And maybe that's all we get right now. But please don't give up. I'm not trying to preach but I truly believe that God listens and wants us and our babies to be happy. They are in much better care with God than they were ever with us. And that makes me feel better
"Life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some are happy and some are exciting. But if you never turn the page, you will never know what the next chapter has in store for you."
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Mistysmama
I hear you, Romeosdaddy about the sun and the clouds. I get that feeling too. When I connect with my girl in our Love it's like the sun is out. When she appears to be gone or I feel so alone it's like thick grey cloud.
Then there are those days when glimpses of sun shine through and then suddenly a big black cloud comes over.....like April weather I guess...and I am reminded that in April weather we see rainbows.

But your grief is still very raw. Of course you are going to be overwhelmed with sadness. Just ride with it. Know it doesn't make any difference to your Romeo's love. That is always there. There is no hurry.

You asked what confirmation I received at 9am that morning?

Okay I was always a bit skeptical about life after death. I find it hard to just blindly believe stuff. I have to know. At least I have to know in my heart.

So....I had sensed my girl about 3 or 4 times, but was still not 100% sure. I really felt it was her. Everything in me felt it was her. But I guess there was still some invisible question-mark.

As I said, I prayed in the little church which she always used to like.
So then I went to bed really late that night and woke up too early on the Saturday morning. Weird o'clock....like 5 am or something (which is weird for me even in summer). I got up and mooched about. I had pain in my arm so went to lie on top of the bed about 8am just to relieve the pain. I didn't even feel sleepy.
So what happened a little while after that (2 months after her passing-away) -was a fully conscious out-of-body experience. I was completely aware -just like I am now -and felt myself floating up and out of my body.
And as it was happening I wondered if I should call out to my girl? I was concerned that she might not need that to happen. I was concerned that she might not even 'be anywhere'. I was concerned that there might not BE a life after death and that I was just nuts.
Anyway I decided to call out for her and whistled her too.
(Going out of body is a strange experience. You can often be convinced that you are dying. But it had happened a few times before to me....many years ago. It feels completely real. Everything is very tangible and yes, it can be scary.)
So I called her name and whistled.
And then the most amazing thing happened. I heard this stumbling bumping sound and then a huge thump against the side of my bed. And even though I hadn't moved far from my body by this time I was still out in that different dimension. I put out my hands and touched my girl. I recall how warm she was. A real living dog. I could make out every detail of her and feel her love. She was no longer sick or weary. She had great energy, like her normal self. I accidentally bent back her ears because I was so clumsy with my out-of-body hands!
Then against my will I found myself sinking back. Before I had to leave her I told her to shake, to get her ears straightened out.
When I came back it was about 9am. I was so filled with love and amazement.
Life after death was real. My dog still lived. She still loved me tremendously. She was okay, happy and well balanced. Her illness had gone from her.

That only happened once. I feel it was a Grace.
I have sensed her many times since then, though.

Romeo is there. He's fine, he's alive (though of course not physically any more) but he is a real living dog and Soul. Don't worry about not sensing him because right now you are in the hardest part of grief. When this eases up, which it will do in time to come, you send out your love and he will 'hear' it for sure. And one day maybe you will receive some confirmation also. One day maybe a dream will come just when you least expect it. Or some other thing. It doesn't have to be a dream.


Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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GayleMG
I've had losses where the person or animal shows up in my dreams, sometimes every night for a week. But I've also experienced losses where that did not happen. When it doesn't happen, I feel a little bereft, especially when another family member does experience a dream, vision, sign, etc of the lost loved one. Maybe sometimes it is so subconscious that we literally can't recall it, even though it happened. Earlier this week I lost my 12 year old cat, Josie. She hasn't shown up in my dreams yet. Strangely, though, I went for a walk a couple days after her death and found a little piece of paper with 8 hearts drawn on it in pink ink! Before Josie died, I had 8 cats! I'm generally not superstitious, but I had to keep that piece of paper! 
Beloved One, you were ill, but you were not alone. I was with you. The beloved dead awaited you. You moved from love into love, carrying with you only love. I sent my love to travel with you and open up the way.
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Romeos_Daddy
I think I finally received or should I say noticed a sign. I still have not had a dream yet. But last Monday 5/29 marked an anniversary date we always celebrated called, Romeo Day. It was the day when brought him home when I first got him in 2002.  So every year on 5/29, we would celebrate the gift that was him in our life (with some steak of course) and this past one I knew would be hard since it would be the first one without him.  It was also going to mark 10 weeks to the day since our last trip to the vet.  I signed up for and ran the Bolder Boulder 10K race on 5/29. It was something I have done for 8 years now and knowing it was going to be a hard day for me emotionally I thought this would help get me out of the house.  The race is set in the neighborhoods and there are tens of thousands of people out on the streets running and observing you run past their homes. I saw every kind of dog imaginable during my run, all except one kind.  I never saw a chocolate lab, like my Romeo was, which I thought was weird.  I finished the race and walked around a bit and as I started walking to the bus stop I started melting down emotionally as I walked, thinking about my Romeo and how much we loved to run together and just how much I miss him still.  Then I heard someone coming behind me and as I turned I saw a lady riding a bike with a big beautiful chocolate lab running next to her on a leash.  They ran right up behind me and past me on my left.  I felt this was a sign for me.  Maybe saying I'm right here with you still.  At least that's what I hope.  
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