A month ago we lost our sweet boy Harley at only a year & a 1/2. It happened fast, and unexpected. Not having answers is the hardest part. I can’t get closure. I had a full of life pup l, Captain Chaos we’d say & in 4 days he was dying and they couldn’t figure out why. We were left with the horrible decision to be there while he got his wings or we’d get a call as he wouldn’t make it through the night. HOW DID WE GET HERE!! My head screamed! He was still a pup! I held him and kissed him until he took his last breathe. I cry every night, wake up with a knot in my throat. I’m devastated, heartbroken, and just plain angry! I get so angry! He had a full life ahead of him. 2 years ago I lost my sweet Gizmo, he was 17 & was sick. And 3 years ago we lost Furry who was 16, and also sick. They loved full lives full of love and were my furbabies. With Furry his kidneys were failing, the vet called and said they were not sure how he was still alive with his test results and they thought he was waiting to say goodbye to us. Gizmo, has a mass and started twirling. We did months of taking him to the vet for sub Q injections. I asked my vet is I was being selfish and she said no. He’s healthy blood work wise, it’s just the mass on his brain. She said he would let us know. And he did. I woke up one morning and he was on my chest and I said “you ready for another day Giz?” And I heard “Mom I’m ready” it shattered my heart. I knew when he was gone as I felt this whoosh go through me. With Harley I heard “Mom, help me” and there was nothing I could do. Nothing the vets could do. I feel I failed him. I couldn’t help him. I feel like he wasn’t ready. How do I live with that?
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I'm so sorry to read you are going through this. I can relate on some small level. My beautiful boy bunny Peter was diagnosed with a tumour under his stomach on Monday and we were told it was a matter of weeks until he passed. By Wednesday night he couldn't eat or go to toilet, he couldn't sit up I picked him up for a cuddle and he tried to get down and lost the use of his bag legs.... I was screaming at my mum as I didn't know what to do. We honestly thought he would go naturally overnight but he held on to see my mum Thursday morning when she got in from work.... He was so weak and just lying flat so we made the hardest decision of of lives to stop him pain. I went though so many emotions.... Anger that I had lost those weeks I was promised, overwhelming grief as I am a 30 year old woman who is still single and he was my baby..... I didn't want to ket him go... I tried bargaining with higher powers etc to key him stay as I wasn't ready but in my heart I knew as his mummy I had to stop the hurt for him.... That is the only thing that brings me comfort at the moment. That and creating a beautiful final resting place for him. Please don't feel any guilt at all as you are doing what is right for your baby and he is looking down at you from the Bridge with such love xx
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I haven't been in  your exact shoes, but I can relate. On Friday morning, I had what looked like a healthy, if slightly tired, 5-year-old dog, and by Sunday, his body was shutting down. Unlike you, I knew what was going on and his odds of survival. I made the decision to put him out of his misery before the disease took him in a horrible way.  I  talked to the emergency vet a couple of weeks later, and he said that he suspected cancer that caused his immune system to go into overdrive. I can see it in hindsight, because it was a beast getting him to eat for a month or six weeks before  he died, and he dropped 2 pounds in a month. I lost it last night when I looked at a picture of him last year, and it was clear how much more he weighed and how much healthier he was. I didn't see his decline because it was so slow, but it should have been hitting me in the face. I also don't know how to  live with that in the long run, because if I'd caught it earlier,  the vet could have gotten it before his immune system went berserk, and he could be with me on the couch right now. I still lose it sometimes, and I'll never be able to make it up to him because I knew he depended on me to tell the doctor he was sick, and I chalked it up to the wrong causes, and I didn't do anything about it. I was even at the vet 1 month before he died, and didn't say anything. But I am really trying hard to focus on the good memories I made in the 2 short years I had with him. It's not easy, but until they invent time machines, it's all I can do. I'm also trying hard to make sure that my remaining dog stays healthy and happy, to help me focus on something positive. We've been trying to do something fun every single day, especially taking long walks that we weren't really doing during the summer because it was so hot. That's all I can tell you -- focus on the positive that was, not what could have been. 
Ollie's Grieving Mama
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It is a very sad story. How tragic and he was so young. It must be very hard to cope with something like this. I am very sorry for your loss.
Hugs to you,

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