Mbanyard
A week ago my hysband  and I made the difficult decision, along with the clinical director of the vet clinic closest to us, to euthanize our beloved cat Banjo, who was 16 and was in declining health.

The clinic owner commended me for making the decision, after hearing his symptoms. He agreed that it 100% sounded like feline intestinal cancer and that it was much more humaine to end his sufferring before it went any further.

I cried for 2 full days when we made the appointment, which was tiday. I have currently been crying for nearly 30 hours straight. I think this is a pretty good indication of just how much Banjo meant to me and how much I loved him.

The vet on call when we went for the appointment met us with disdain and the clear purpose of being non sympathetic, non compassionate, and generally a complete jerk, even though I was already openly sobbing and  holding my Banjo as tightly as I could.

First he made us both say out loud why we were there, then he pressured us to consider doing a whole gambut of diagnostic testing...even though his boss  had already agreed this was not necessary in this case. Then cane sarcasm. He took the cat and left us in the room.25 minutes while he put the iv in. An assistant brought our baby back and we wrre left with him in the exam for another 30 minutes. By this time I was totally inconsolable, sitting on the floor, wailing, with my fur baby in my arms.

The vet, now suddenly impatient thrust a blanket at my husband and told him to put it on my lap as " when he dies he will pee and poop all over you". My husband spared me this, which did not occur at all. He took our baby from my arms and eased him through his passing, with the vet tellling Banjo how sorry he was...over and over.

After it was over hd said not one word to us...he just turned and left....leaving us there with our fur baby.

My husband eventually had to physically lift me from the floor and guide me out.

That was 12 hours ago. I continue to be able to do nothing but cry. I could not eat much, I cannot sleep and I keep seeing flashbacks of him laying there with the vet saying over and over how sorry he was...to Banjo.

I have previously lost 6 cats during my lifetime, but none held my heart as firmly as Banjo. He and I lived through the death of my furst husbabd...and then our canine companion.

I am completely broken and inconsolable. I cannot help but think that the vet contributed to this.
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JulieF
Mbanyard,

I am so sorry for your loss.  Banjo was clearly loved very much and he was a lucky kitty.  Unfortunately, you had and inconsiderate jerk you for a vet.  That is the first case I have ever heard of where the vet was like that - usually, they are supportive when the pet parents make the difficult decision to put their baby out of misery.  Please try to put that experience out of your mind and just know that you did what was right by Banjo.  You got confirmation from the clinical director who has seen a lot of pets go through pain and suffering because the parents could not do what was best for their babies (in all fairness to them, it is so hard to let get and I understand trying to go above and beyond).

Banjo was given an incredible gift by you - you and your husband put Banjo's needs above your own.  You loved him enough to let him go to a place where he is no longer in pain.  Cats are very good at hiding their suffering so he might have been suffering longer than you knew.  

The grief is overwhelming at times and comes in waves.  In a few days, you will start to feel better in small increments.  Today will be one month since I had to put my own 19 year old cat, Patch, down for kidney failure.  I miss him every day, but am now able to think of him and smile with the good memories.  Try to remember the good times you had - maybe journal everything you remember about him.  Banjo would want you to be happy.

Bless you and your husband.
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pannklaus
That vet was unbelievably insensitive.  Usually the vets are very caring and supportive which helps some.  But the grief is still there after your precious baby is gone.  You showed your love toward Banjo by releasing him from his suffering.  I know how difficult things are for you now.  I hope you will get some support and comfort from this group.
Patsy
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Mbanyard
Thank you both.


We know we did the right thing. It is just so SO hard right now.

I see him everywhere. Our blind rescue dog, who we thought was indifferent to him at best, is also inconsolable.

He is having nightmaredms and crying fir him. So heartbreaking.

Bless you all.
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Bigcatsdad
Mbanyard,
I'm so very sorry for your loss of Banjo, He sounded like a special loving guy.
I've been through a similar experience, over three months ago we had to make the painful decision to end the suffering of my big black cat and my buddy Albert, he was 16. He developed an inoperable mass in his abdomen. We chose not to prolong his suffering and let things degrade and get worse as well. This decision and experience was one of the most painful and heart breaking I've ever gone through. Our vet was supportive and compassionate. It is very unfortunate that the vet you dealt with was that uncaring and showing disregard for your sadness and loss. Yes, he was a jerk and I could use alot more words containing profanity, this person clearly should not be a vet. Going through an experience like this is so painful and devastating. Although the vet showed little regard you can take comfort in that you were with Banjo through this all and were with him to the end, that's what matters most and he knows that. We become so attached and so close to our little furry ones and when the time comes to say goodbye it leaves such a deep empty void and overwhelming sadness. You can also take comfort in that you gave Banjo a good loving home and life for many years and he knows that too and that you loved him. He is now in a better place and is not suffering anymore. The grief you feel is so dark, it's a weight that feels so overwhelmingly crushing and that it won't end. Over time it will slowly get a little better, day by day, week by week. It just takes time and alot of tears.
I hope over time you can get to a point where the good memories and spirit of Banjo can bring you a smile and a little happiness. Those will always be in your heart and his spirit will be with you forever.
My deepest condolences.
-Jeff
Bigcatsdad
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april123

I am very sorry for your loss. It's clear that you love your special Banjo and you knew in your heart what was best for him. You helped him in the most loving way possible. 

Sending much love and light.

Lost my bff Cassius, a handsome shorthair male cat on May 2, 2020. Eternally grateful to be with him for 13 1/2 years. 
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Mbanyard
Thank you Jeff.It is such a relief to speak to people who understand how I fell right now.I loved him SO SO MUCH and I am sure he knew that. He got me through the death of my  first husband, and our canine third muskateer that we lost tragically to cancer last year.Him not being here now is just a huge void in my soul.Thanks again.
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Rachel
I've had three cats put to sleep because of health issues and I was there when it happened. I NEVER had an experience like yours. I am so sorry for your loss. It's obvious you had a loving relationship with Banjo.

Have you talked to the owner of the clinic? That is certainly not good behavior.
Banjo is in heaven and you are loving people. Please take care.
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Mbanyard
I am waiting for a call back from the owner.I expect he is speaking to the staff and THAT vet first.
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Monroegirl
So very sorry for his insensitivity...I just don't understand that. You knew what had to be done and was given confirmation by the clinic owner. Your Banjo loved you and you loved him and will always be connected. (((Hugs)))
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Mbanyard
Thank you all for your ongoing support while I struggle with this part of losing our beautiful boy.

I finallly wrote to the clinic again today. I pointed out that it had been 3 days since I brought this issue to their attention and the owner has not called me, not emailed with any possible times for a call, or even acknowledged that I, a paying clinic patron had requested to speak to him.

Then I asked if he wanted to speak to me or if he would prefer to just learn about the issues via a copy of the formal complaint I was writing to the College of Veterinarians...and that ultimately I intended to ensure that nobody else was going to be subjected to the uncaring, jncompassionate and frankly brutal treatmemt we received.

Hopefully that will light a fire so a conversation can be had. If he does not get in touch with me, I am filing the complaint.
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Monroegirl
I don't blame you. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
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Mbanyard
Thank you.My goal is to ensure he does not do this to anybody else.His behaviour caused my PTSD from my first husband's death to flare. Nobody deserves treatment like that.
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