FClaire
Every time I just sit and think about Ollie and not seeing him again, suddenly it is like someone wripping my heart out. For a second it hits me so I switch off immediately. I don't want to believe it. The thought is crushing me. I suppose there is no answer,only time? But it's so hard,getting harder. But I think I'm trying to deal with all these thoughts, but also trying to block them. If all this makes any sense x
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Memories_of_Marmalade

FClaire wrote:

"But I think I'm trying to deal with all these thoughts, but also trying to block them."


I totally agree. It's both. I am trying to come to terms with what has happened with my own loss, and then I must block my thoughts, as I go into a complete state of shock again, with the realization that Marmalade is not ever coming back.  : / 

It's unnerving and debilitating. 
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FClaire
Memories_of_Marmalade wrote:

FClaire wrote:

"But I think I'm trying to deal with all these thoughts, but also trying to block them."


I totally agree. It's both. I am trying to come to terms with what has happened with my own loss, and then I must block my thoughts, as I go into a complete state of shock again, with the realization that Marmalade is not ever coming back.  : / 

It's unnerving and debilitating. 
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FClaire
I'm sorry to you also having to deal with these thoughts. It's very debilitating. But then how do we come to acceptance if we are blocking these thoughts?
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Memories_of_Marmalade


From what I've read and researched, it takes time for the two types of thoughts to come together / converge. The "realization" and the "denial." They come together eventually. Evidently we just have to wait it out. It's the way the mind works, I suppose. But it certainly is daunting, and almost maddening in some ways. : /
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FClaire
I think we do. In one way I want to rush this process as hate feeling like this. And then that's where the guilt creeps in because I start to think it's being disloyal to Ollie if I try to move on too quickly. All these thoughts drive me crazy!!!!!
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huckleberry1918
I have the same feelings. I still can't believe that Huckleberry is most likely not coming back. On Saturday, my wife made a memorial for him and she put it at the wall in front of our bed, so we can see the memorial and think of him each day. I never got to say goodbye to him. I also never saw him suffering, in pain, or slowing down. He's perfect and it's hard to believe that he's been missing for 51 days now.

I would have hope that he was alive, but my neighbor's cat is also missing. They're putting a natural gas pipeline very close to our house and a neighbor told me that she thinks the coyotes and wild animals are being displaced and are on the move. I'm on Nextdoor.com, and it looks like there are a bunch of missing cats and dogs around. I wish I knew all this before Huck went missing. We're really watching Banjo now. I still have guilty feelings, when I pet Banjo though. I guess that's probably normal. 
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BeautifulDK
Memories_of_Marmalade wrote:


From what I've read and researched, it takes time for the two types of thoughts to come together / converge. The "realization" and the "denial." They come together eventually. Evidently we just have to wait it out. It's the way the mind works, I suppose. But it certainly is daunting, and almost maddening in some ways. : /


This makes so much sense. We’ll just have to keep processing, I guess, and hope for the best. It helps to be around people with strong faith, I’ve experienced. Many hugs to both <3
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