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catiebee
It's ok that you feel that way about healing, Kyle.  Our souls want to find any way possible to hold onto our furry loved ones. Hoping any burden of feeling guilty will ease, though.

I'm glad you are feeling some better and I hope on some level that feels encouraging.


Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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ForMitookie_03
Kyle,

I often have the same thoughts; that smiling and laughing is somehow betraying Mitookie's memory.  That if I feel better, it takes away from what I feel for him.  But, just like Silvia said, I too would like to reach the point of embracing what I had, rather than always crying for what I no longer have.  I'm not quite there yet.  Baby steps.  You are not alone.

Marina
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
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ForMitookie_03
Hey Kyle,

Just checking in to see how you are doing.  I hope you are feeling better these days.  I've been keeping myself busy so as not to dwell on the pain and loss.  I love the picture of Twilight that you posted on Riley's Mom's page.  I still think about Mitookie and miss him everyday as I'm sure you do with Twilight.  Is graduation day soon approaching?  Twilight is going to be so proud! 

Marina
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
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COOKIES4
Kyle wrote:
Cookies,
I'm sorry you had to lose your Sparky. I've always been like your husband and his my grief but I think this place has been a good outlet for me. Everyone here truly understands your pain. Take all the time you neef to grieve, losing our pets is losing a family member. If love alone could keep them here, they would live forever. Take care.
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COOKIES4
THANKS FOR CARING. IT IS HARD TO CRY AS I KNOW HE CANNOT SOOTHE ME THE WAY I NEED TO BE COMFORTED. HE IS NOT WELL EITHER AND I AM VERY MUCH ARTHRITIC AND IN CONSTANT PAIN. THANKS FOR CARING
JOAN COOKIES4
FRIENDS
SPARKY'S MOMMY
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Kyle
Hi Marina,
Yeah graduation is about a month and a half away, and I think staying really busy with that has kind of kept me going and helped lessen the grief. I definitely still think about Twi every day, and some days are better than others..last night Interstellar was on and all I could think about was Twilight and I just miss him so bad. It still seems like I'll wake up from a bad dream. I think this year all of our "firsts" without him will be a little difficult, especially going to the cabin. I'm glad to hear you have been keeping busy as well and even though you will be thinking of Mitookie every day I think those thoughts come with less grief and more happiness over time. No one can take away your special bond and your memories! Take care.
Kyle
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catiebee
Some days are definitely worse than others. The deep missing is very persistent, for sure, and first times do feel heartbreaking. I wish we all could indeed wake up from the bad dream of our losses. 

I'm glad staying busy has been something of a help to you, Kyle. I hope you will have comfort and encouragement this week and that the time will go as gently as possible for you.
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Kyle
Well, here I am a few weeks from graduation and missing Twi as bad as ever. I had been doing pretty well for the last month, I think because I've just had no choice but to keep moving forward with school. But I became seriously ill this week with something I need to potentially get surgically removed, and I don't actually have health insurance currently which seems crazy because I work at a hospital. Ill have it once I graduate and get hired somewhere, but anyways having this going on just made me miss him so much. I know he would be here making me feel better just laying around with me. I just wish I could go back in time to our little family all healthy and going on adventures together. I went through all of this to give us a good life and right now its anything but good. I miss you so much Twilight!
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catiebee
I'm sorry you are suffering so much in body and with the grief, Kyle. I wish your beloved Twi was still here for you.

I know it is really hard right now and I hope you feel better soon in every way. Thoughts are with you!
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Stasia
Hi Kyle,

I am so sorry for the loss of your pal. It is a pain like no other. Don't be hard on yourself. It hurts and that is okay. You are not weak you are human and you just lost your best friend. Just let it out. That's what I did. Even after I went back to work I had to keep leaving my desk to go and cry in the bathroom. I don't know why it hurt me more than a person I have lost but it did. I am still grieving. I wish you well.
Stasia
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Kyle
Thank you for your kind words Catiebee and Stasia. We printed off a ton of his pictures and are putting together a big photo album of him and our trips together and it is helping to ease the pain some. I wish you both well with your grief too.
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ForMitookie_03
Hey Kyle,

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time lately.  I'm sure you were doing okay for awhile because of how busy you have been.  I threw myself into work (2 jobs; one from home), and won a seat on my HOA board so I've been so busy I barely have to time to think straight.  All of the busy work has helped me with my grief, but deep down it's still very much there.  It just picks certain moments to rear its ugly head.  I think your idea to make a Twighlight montage is fantastic!  I have most of Mitookie's photos on an old Mac and I'm working on getting them off that computer, but I simply have no time. 

I really hope you find yourself on the mend soon enough.  You have to get through graduation; you have worked really hard for this.  I'm an RN and work for a medical school in the cardiothoracic surgery department, so I see what our residents, and mid-levels go through all the time.  I know how hard you have worked and it will all be worth it. You just have get through these tough times.  Twi would insist!  If you have to have surgery, things will get even more difficult for awhile, but as you know, the season will pass and in the meantime all we can do is keep honoring our beloved pets' memories, as you are doing for Twi. I wish you all the best.  We are all still here for you!

Take care,

Marina
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
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Kyle
Well, todays the day. We did it Twi. Im officially Dr. Taylor. I couldn't have done it without your chin on my lap all of those years studying and doing homework. I wish so bad you could be here with us to start the next leg of our journey, it won't be the same without you.
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catiebee
Huge congratulations to you, Kyle!  It must have been an arduous journey!

I'm sure sorry Twilight isn't there to celebrate with you. I hope you are doing better health-wise these days also.

I wish you much comfort, healing and peace. And all the best in the next chapter of your life and profession!
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Kyle
Thank you Catiebee. It was a long journey but I had my boy by me through 95 percent of it, which certainly made it easier, and I'm grateful for that. I appreciate your kind words.
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