EevaTeddy Show full post »
EevaTeddy
Thinking of you Teddy. I miss you so much. I really wish I was able to save you. To give you a peaceful death you so deserved my gentle little boy. 

Eeva's life is not as good without you. I think of you all the time and it feels like I am forever gonna have a hole in my heart. It's hard to be fully happy. 

I just have so much regret for your final moments. I am so sorry you were so scared. That you didn't want to go back to that vet. I should have kept you home. Please forgive me.

I love you. 
i see you in my dream my sweet little boy
Quote 0 0
COOKIES4
MY HEART BREAKS FOR YOU. I WROTE THE DOCTOR AS SPARKY HAD AN AWFULL DEATH. I BLAME MYSELF BIG TIME. ARE THOSE PHOTOS OF LITTLE TEDDY PASSED. I AM CRYING NOW . MOMMY JOAN FOR SPARKY SPIRIT.
Quote 0 0
EevaTeddy
Hey Teddy,

I've been missing you so much. I always miss you. Recently I've been so sad thinking that I could have stopped what happened to you. I've been in research mode and reading Dr. Karen Becker's work and watching her youtube videos. I realize now that feeding you Fromm Chicken ala Veg for years straight on end caused your cancer.

I am so sorry Teddy. I should have known better. And I did know better. I gave you the food you enjoyed but it killed you in the end. I have learned so much but none of it will bring you back. It breaks my heart. I could be enjoying your company right now. Eeva could be playing with you and cuddling with you. 

I love you Teddy Bear. I miss you.
i see you in my dream my sweet little boy
Quote 0 0
EevaTeddy
Happy Easter Teddy.

I miss you so much. I still feel crushed by the weight of your loss. It still makes my knees buckle. I didn't know I could love an animal this much.

Your presence is greatly missed today.

Emily
i see you in my dream my sweet little boy
Quote 0 0
EevaTeddy
Teddy, 

I miss you so much. 

A year ago this week you were showing symptoms of being sick. It was the worst week of our life together. You didn't feel good and I tried so hard to save your life. 

I wish I could go back to that time and really care for you the right way. Not try to stuff you full of medicine and herbal concoctions in an effort to save you. I should have just been present with you. 

I'll never forget those last moments of your life. I'll never know if I made the right decision. I miss you so much.

I have been emotional this week. Remembering how much you suffered and how your loss changed me forever. I feel isolated in my experience. I miss having you here. Eeva really misses you. She is too young to be without a companion. 

I love you. 
i see you in my dream my sweet little boy
Quote 0 0
COOKIES4
I'm so sorry you feel the way you do I relate I'm very depressed too and I'm so sorry that you're going through this again try not to blame yourself but I know it's not easy I blame myself for things that happened with Sparky I pray for you good luck with your little kitties you could write me anytime love Joan
Quote 0 0
EevaTeddy
Teddy,

It's been a year since I lost you. Do you know there hasn't been one single day that I haven't thought of you?

I really wish I could change your last days here and given you a peaceful death. 

I've tried to find peace and healing. It's come slowly and in small increments. But nothing can take away the profound loss of your presence in my life daily. I've been angry at God for allowing this to happen, for not telling me the why of this. I've just had to accept this. That's the only thing I can do. Accept that this has happened. 

I just really miss you. You were my sunshine. Your gentle spirit gave me hope everyday. Your life had such a huge impact on me and I am so glad I got to be your loved one.

Please forgive me for all the ways I messed up, for all the times I didn't do right by you. My ignorance probably cost you your life and for that I will never forgive myself. 

I hope you are at peace somewhere. I love you so much.


i see you in my dream my sweet little boy
Quote 0 0
MAlcindor
Hi Emily. Difficult to fathom that an entire year has gone by. I think about you and your babies often. June 13 was a year since I lost my Max and July 13 will be a year for Bailey. So hard to wrap my mind around having endured 365 days of heartache. I know you understand. 💔💔💔
Quote 0 0
EevaTeddy
Hi Marlen,

I can't believe it's been a year. I feel lucky to have met you here though. You've helped me walk through this. And I do understand your pain. The anniversaries are so hard. 

I literally haven't stopped grieving. If anything, it's just been accepting what happened. I still get nightmares and flashbacks from the traumatic events. 

I think about you too. I wonder how the healing has been going for you.

Sending love and thinking of our sweet babies,

Emily
i see you in my dream my sweet little boy
Quote 0 0
EevaTeddy
Teddy,

I miss you a ton. I don't really not how to get over this grief. As months pass it feels less sharp but it's still there. The images and sounds of your last days, moments, really haunt me, especially when falling asleep. I remember you gave this cry as we walked into the vet the final time to put you down. You knew instantly you were back at that terrible place and you cried out in alarm. When the vet tech took you immediately from my arms I didn't know that was the last time I would hold you. I feel like I betrayed you so many times as your caretaker. 

I know I didn't do enough for your health. I loved on you and played with you but I let things go way too often. You were the sweetest kindest little boy. 

I feel really alone at times in my grief. When I talk with my therapist about it she tries to convince me to change my thoughts when I think of the hard moments. Which I have been doing. But I just feel so much guilt. Mostly for letting you struggle so much at the end. I know you suffered and I am so sorry.

The guilt is eating at me and often times I just want to turn my brain off. I don't want to remember what happened or those moments. I just want to disappear. 

I miss you so much and I feel so incomplete without you. I never knew I could love an animal this way. It's been over a year and I am still traumatized and still longing to be with you.


i see you in my dream my sweet little boy
Quote 0 0
redgirlraven
I feel like your story and mine about my kitty Roary are so similar.  Our regrets are similar, as is our anguish.  I am so sorry.
AR
Quote 0 0
Julia_Loves_McCartney
So very sorry to hear of your loss. I read your whole story at the beginning of this thread. I'm so sorry for the pain you went through.

The loss of my cat was quite sudden too. He was perfectly fine. One random day, he quit eating and starting yowling, hiding, and acting lethargic. I thought he had a urinary tract infection (one of the places he kept hiding was in the litter box closet). The next day, he passed away. Turns out he had an enlarged heart that he was probably born with, and one day it just took over. I had no way of knowing he had it because his whole life, he showed no signs of having anything wrong. He sadly died at the vet and I wasn't there for it. I didn't even know he was going to die.

I know what it's like for the whole thing to be a mystery. I wish so badly that they could tell us what hurts in their bodies. I felt guilt too, but honestly neither you or I should, as there was nothing we could do. Nothing was a fault of ours. 

I love the photos of your Teddy and Eeva. They're so beautiful. I'm so sorry you're struggling. I will say a prayer for you. I know Teddy is pain-free now and in Heaven waiting. 

~I love you eternally, McCartney boy~

You can visit my kitty McCartney's Rainbow Bridge Memorial here: http://www.rainbowbridge.com/residents/MCCAR001/Resident.htm

Quote 0 0
EevaTeddy
Teddy boy,

It's the winter of 2019. Christmas has passed. I've been developing and growing in spiritual life a lot this year. Your death was a catalyst in it.

I am at peace knowing that you are indeed somewhere dwelling at peace. I no longer feel your presence as I did the days after your death. 

Eeva and I miss you so much. She misses her brother and companion to play with. I am no match for you papabear. 

I try now to dwell on the happy times we spent together. I regret SO much during your last hour, day, week, months you were here. But I realize we have a lot of memories that live beyond those rough moments and mistakes. We had true unconditional love that explodes beyond the darkness. 

I am the luckiest person in the world to have known you. You have the most gentle pure energy and I miss your goofyness. 

I love you and think of you literally every day.

i see you in my dream my sweet little boy
Quote 0 0
redgirlraven
I am glad you are finding some degree of peace. I am still struggling with he guilt.  Facing the new year, and a new decade is tough without my sweet boy.
AR
Quote 0 0