Mary_Ira
I lost my little boy Bruno the 4th of January 2016. Soon it will be a year since I held him last prior being put to sleep. He was 17 and had cushings desease and he became sad the last month of his life. He always was a strong dog so him being sad was very significant. He wes in pain and his sickness made treatment iimposible.
Bruno was my child, I am 46 years old and I have no children. I adopted him from Fort Laudedale shelter in 2002, and he came with me when I came to Spain
Here we also had a great life together. He was the king of my apartment. We has a good dog since day one, never got in trouble, he loved to eat,,play with his toys and walk around the neighborhood sniffing everything. We were always together, my life companion.
My family does not umderstand my pain. They don't understand I still miss him.and cry for him.
Brunos passing alongside with mom and dad being very sick, and breaking my knee made everything more difficult. Bruno was always there by me, and now I could not hug him pet him or look into his beautiful deep eyes
I feel sad guilty and today one of my friends is going to bring me an abandoned dog she has found in the countyside. She says she is a young dog but I do not know much else
I already agreed on meeting this dog she calls Luna (moon in spanish). I am afraid she would bring the dog back to where she found it. But now I am nervous crying, feeling unloyal to Bruno. I want to save dogs by donating to good shelters with no sacrificing pets policy. I do not think I am ready to adopt Luna, emotionally and given our health issues. But I am not ready to forget she is there needing health and the shelters are all full.
Some of you have gone thru this.
What do I do? I can not rhink clearly caus the meds for my depression .
I cannot stop cryimg and worrying.
Please help!! What do I do?
This forum is the only place I can tirn to for support and advice, an not to feel lonely.
I send all of you, good people all my love from Spain.
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Butterfly_Kiss
I think that taking the dog will be good for you. I know how conflicted you feel about this, and basically everyone who loses a beloved pet goes through this. When I talk to people who decided to adopt another while they were grieving, none of them said they regretted it, although they all said it was hard. They said that while NO ONE can or will ever replace their baby, it filled the silence in the house and gave them a sense of purpose again having another one to love and care for. One friend also said she felt very disconnected from the new dog for the first couple months and still missed her other dog, but over time the bond has grown and she's so glad for her decision to take him. Seeing how much her new dog loves and appreciates her and her husband and their loving home really opened her heart back up from a place of compassion. She says she still misses her first dog though and occasionally cries a year later, which she'd be doing with or without the new dog. So the way I see it is, if not for you, do it for this new dog. It needs a loving home. And in time I'm sure your heart will catch up and it will take the edge off your grieving. Not having another dog for the rest of your life will not bring yours back. I'm so sorry, as I will be going through this right along with you in time. I love cats way too much to not have another one at some point, and I'm being told sooner rather than later is advised. I know I will go through similar guilt, but in my heart I know our passed on babies love us too and do not want to see us suffering, just as we did not want to see them suffering. The love is mutual and eternal. Remember that. Something I have been doing intuitively, without having put rhyme or reason to it until recently, is writing down all my favorite memories of my furbaby in a journal as I remember them, and all the nicknames I had for him, and all the sweet things I remember saying to him over the years. I think I'm doing it not only to honor him, but because I know that with time and other pets, some of those memories may fade a little or get jumbled in new pet memories. Maybe if you do this too it will help you.
KG

~Our Love is eternal & 'death' cannot sever the bond we created. The spirit never dies. The Love, bond, & spirit are ours to cherish always. That is a gift that will never be taken away~
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Mistysmama
Mary Ira,
I understand. I could never willingly go out and 'get a new dog' either. But I always said "I will take what God gives me to do." I know I am always given something. Even if I sat here and did nothing, something would be given to me to do, to have responsibility for. etc

A few weeks before my dog passed, I was suddenly asked to care for a little cat. I am not a 'cat person'! I visited her in her own territory. She didn't want to go anywhere else so I never forced her to.
I'd take my dog along....feed the cat....play with her a few minutes....park my dog round a corner of the house, in the garden, out of sight of the cat (she wasn't a 'cat person' either....LOL) I'd visit twice a day.
I even visited her the day my dog passed away. I could hardly move yet visited her. I couldn't let her down.
So time passed, and at first I felt nothing except duty towards this nice little cat. But I wasn't going to do her any dis-service. I was going to do my best under the unusual circumstances (of her living there....me living here)
I missed my girl, but often felt my love for her deep in my heart, and sometimes felt her love for me.
As the months turned into years I sensed my dog full of love on many occasions. I sensed her love embraced not only me but also those under my care....anyone who was an important part of my life.
One day I sat stroking the little cat on a sunny day. I sensed my dog's beautiful Spirit beside me. I sensed her love. I also knew that she was trying to say to me "It's okay to open your heart to another". I heard that almost as words. Almost as if she had said those words herself. But it was all in her embracing love....then she was gone.

So now I accept I cannot love this cat in the exact same way I loved my dog. But I certainly do love her, care about her, do my best for her twice a day every day. It is just different. She races to greet me. She is happy to see me. She plays, shows me her sense of humour. She gets in the nice warm bed I made for her and purrs, and kneads against my arm. I am her friend. Her best friend. Her ONLY friend. Without me she would be feral and miserable. Her diet would be bad. She would be sleeping in a pile of leaves, or against the wall of someone's shed.
With me she has food, kindness, friendship, a warm bed, games, toys....

I know my dog would have liked that.

Give Luna a chance. At the least she might be a friend, if not a Soul Mate.
At least you would be giving her some kindness. Without that, what does she have to ever look forward to?

Oh, and don't expect the relationship to EVER be the same as it was with your Bruno. It never will be. And never expect her to behave like he did or to like the same things. Because she most likely won't. But you two might become great friends nevertheless. You are both in hard times.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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Butterfly_Kiss
MistysMama,

That cat story warmed my heart more than you even know and completely resonated with me. Thank you so much for sharing this story and PERFECTLY portraying the message I was wanting Mary_Ira to hear. And for opening your heart to this sweet little cat. You are her world and what she looks forward to each day. Words cannot describe how utterly sweet this is. This is what life is all about. It becomes more and more clear to me with time that sharing our love is the only thing that truly matters in this life. These beautiful animal souls are here to remind us that and open our hearts.

<3<3<3
KG

~Our Love is eternal & 'death' cannot sever the bond we created. The spirit never dies. The Love, bond, & spirit are ours to cherish always. That is a gift that will never be taken away~
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