Nunusmom
What am I suppose to do ? He was my life for 20 years. I am so lost without him. I didn't hardly make a move without him. And now he's gone.....
His story all started as a refugee from the road....a rescue but he was the greatest puppy that ever lived. We found his owner but she told us to keep him since we had small children that he could play with. So he became a member of our family. He brought so much joy and love to our family. But, he was a momma's boy. He stayed with me wherever I went. I called him my puppy, I told people it kept him young, but old age finally caught up with him. He had arthritis in his spine, eventually losing control of his right back leg. He struggled with dementia and all the ugliness it brings. On giving him his last bath, I truly looked at him, well, not him but his body, his condition, what he had become and thought why am I putting this precious puppy through this.....I know he will do anything to stay with momma....but I was being selfish I thought. Oh, it was the hardest decision of my life. I prayed. oh I prayed, just go to sleep, just go to sleep, momma can't do this. But, he fought daily to be by my side. So, I took him to the vet to help him cross that rainbow bridge, to give him peace, to end his pain and struggles. It was sooooo hard. And I held him, and the vet administered the medication and he fought, he writhed in my arms and eventually let out a solemn howl, he didn't want to leave his momma. Oh, I let out a anguishing howl with him. And then he was gone...... And he lay in my arms and I held him close. I must have told him a million times I loved him and it would be okay and I was so sorry. I think I was trying to convince myself as well. I hear that howl in my mind over and over. Why did I let him go ? I wasn't ready and he wasn't ready. But, I don't think neither of us would ever be ready. Oh, I miss my precious puppy soooooo much. Why did I let him go ?

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Baileysmom2
Wow. This sounds just like me. My baby was 15. We let him go Monday. I can't tell you how many times I just wanted nature to take its course, so I didn't have to decide. But in the end, I took on his pain so he didn't have to anymore. Now I just don't know how to live with it. To live without him. What if he was supposed to have one more day? Or give me one more kiss?? I hate this.
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Ozziemom
Me too my baby was 14 it's going on day 5 I wish nature would have taken course too cause I can't get his last image of being in pain out of my head I try to picture his little body on his bed but I can't right now and it pains me everyday sucks without him living without them will be a struggle and I hate it too
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lettersatlarge
Mine was also 15. I wish nature had taken my baby too. When he was very sick, I hoped, and hated myself for it, that he would pass when we were both sleeping together. Then he seemed to take a turn for the better, and I thought, maybe we have longer. When he did pass, it was sudden and very painful, and I wish every day that he'd have gone in peace, resting next to me.
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Moni
My Jose also left me on Monday though he left peacefully I also hoped he would go in his sleep.I wanted him to live for ever and have cried and cried but I know they can't stay forever and am trying to remember the good times.Jose will never be replaced in my heart he too went everywhere with me.I just want you to know I'm here for you and fill your pain it seems right now that your not ever going to be happy again.But we will .
Monica Cisneros
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Ozziemom
I wish that too I had to travel 3 hrs to the vet when he got sick to see him suffer all that way hurt me I wish I could have eased his suffering sooner he survived the trip but he was so exhausted oh my heart I wish I still had him here today I couldn't tell him enough how much I loved him and what he has do e for me in our short lives together
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Nunusmom
Thank you all for sharing your experiences with me. I don't know but it seems to help to know that others are out there sharing in similar experiences, similar feelings...it makes me feel not so alone in all this. He was such a special puppy and so strong to have kept going after all these years. I know it was for his comfort, to end his suffering, because when I think of all the things he had to endure, I feel selfish to have kept him alive as long as I did. But it was sooooo hard to let go. He never whimpered, never seemed to not be content with continuing to strive to be right by my side. I didn't want his final thought to be that I didn't want or need him anymore. Someone told me though, he's watching over me right now and he sees my pain and sorrow and so he knows....he knows how hard it was for momma to set him free and it wasn't that I didn't want him anymore, it was because I loved him so very, very much that I took on his pain although a different pain so he could be at peace. And that helps some, to think he knows and understands why.
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Neo
hey nunu. our pets are strong. the fact that you were always by his side meant alot to him and i know he is still with you watching over you. sorry for your pain.
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William
I would like to share what my six year old granddaughter said the other night.
We were talking about William before we went to bed and decided to say a prayer.
My sister passed away in November and we are still grieving that loss.

She said dear heaven. Auntie pat now has a dog in heaven. William is with her barking like he always did. And I hope there are squirrels there for him to chase. amen

My tears were flowing as I continue to grieve the loss of my sister and my recent loss of William.
However to have my 6 year old precious little girl tell me the facts as she sees them.
Honestly, my heart had a sense of calm knowing she saw auntie pat and William together.
Kim
Kim
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Neo
Very touching kim. my prayers will be with you and your family, and i will always be around for anyone who just needs a friend or to talk 
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Claudia90
Your story reminds me of my situation so much. It was selfish of me. Deep inside I hoped, prayed that she would just fall asleep next to me and not wake up, that way I wouldn't have to go through the torment of having to end her life myself. 

But in the end, I know I did the right thing. Of course, my mind keeps raising up questions like, did I wait too long? Should I have waited a little bit longer? A ray of hope would glimmer suddenly in my heart then die as fast as it came. When I saw her sleeping there, like she usually would, my brain would try to deny everything, 'look at her, she looks fine now, do I really have to? Can't she just stay a little while longer? I promise that I'll take better care of her, I'll feed her everything she wants, let her sleep in my lap until my legs go numb and painful', but every time I wanted to give her something to eat or drink and she'd refuse, that denial shattered and reality struck again harder and harder each time. My lovely friend wasn't getting better and I realized how selfish I was trying to wait for a miracle to happen. 

I miss her oh so much, it's tearing me inside. Everywhere I look I see where she slept, where she ate, most of the toys and beds are still there because I have another cat who uses them as well. I pick up her pillow and fall asleep with it in my arms, stroking it gently, just like my Mitsy liked being pet. 

I'm rambling about my own emotions now, sorry. I know that we will never forget our lovely friends, and I know they will never forget us. Though it seemed like Nunu wasn't ready to leave yet, you've relieved him of a greater pain than he had to go through. 

Stay strong mother, for Nunu and all the amazing furry friends are up there waiting for us when our own time will come as well.

The saddest moment is when the one who gave you the best memories,
Becomes a memory.

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Nunusmom
Claudia, 

No need to be sorry. Ramble on...thank you for sharing your story of your precious Misty. So much of your story is like mine and it helps to know that someone understands exactly what you are going through. How precious these little babies were to our lives. Misty like Nunu knows how much we loved them to let them go and give them peace. Sometimes I accept that it was best, sometimes I just want him back no matter what. It is hard to let them go. Praying for peace in your heart and Condolences in the loss of your dear Misty. 
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Nunusmom
My dearest Nunu, 

One week ago today, I had to let you go. I miss you immensely. You brought so much joy and love to our family. You were the most amazing puppy ever. Twenty years is a long time my friend and you fought the good fight. You endured more than I should have ever expected you to. I know you are at peace now and have reunited with all those who have gone on before you and were waiting with open arms to welcome you to heaven. I take comfort in knowing that you are surrounded by so many that love you too. I'm sure Chance was happy to see his lil' buddy again. 

I read this the other day and thought this is us --

Close your eyes now, my longtime friend, 
And let this time of suffering, come to a peaceful end.
We'll walk together, soon I'm sure, as winter turns to spring
When snow gives way to budding leaves and birds begin to sing.
The gentle breeze shall call your name along the water's edge, 
From what we shared and what you meant shall never be forgot.
Your friendship spans the years behind, your memory ahead,
You'll always be there next to me, companion and good friend. 
(Tony D'Agnese)

Be at peace my dear Nunu. Momma misses you and loves you so very much !!! Always in my heart.
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Blh90
I'm in the same boat, and it's devastating. I lost my 14 yo baby and held him as he took his last breath. I hope you can find peace and know he is in a better place. I know how much easier said than done that is.
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