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Havanesefan
Molly is adorable. What a precious baby girl. Sending you hugs...
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catiebee
I'm so sorry for how hard this grief journey is. You're in my thoughts today, Jo. How are you holding up?  
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Mollysmomforever
Dear Friends (Catie, Melissa, Sue, Marina, Riley'sMom),  I can't tell you how much I appreciate your kind words and support.  It is still so sad to come home to an empty and oh-so-quiet house now that Molly is gone.  But, it makes me feel a bit better to log onto my computer and to see messages from all of you.  I know we are all dealing with grief and I keep each of you and your Marissa, Mitookie, Bella, Scooter and Riley in my prayers each night.  
I suppose I would say it's gets a little better each day, but, there are those times that still hit me (like when the UPS man delivers a box and nobody comes barreling down the stairs to see who's at the door).  I really think our pets knew how much we loved them and I really hope we all get to see them again one day.  Thanks again for your support.


Molly's Mom Forever
Jo

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RileysMom
Hi Jo,

Just making the rounds and checking in. Hope you’re hanging in there and feeling a little more peace today.

Take care!
Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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Purzel
MollysMom,

I am so sorry for your loss. Even more, because I realized something whilst reading your posts:

You see, I had always wished for Max to go like your sweet Molly did. I would wake up one morning and Max would have gone in his sleep. To me, this thought felt like some relief from the burdon to cope with Max' final days and make the decision to free him from any more suffering not knowing and rather guessing if the time we chose to let him go, was really the "right" time for him.

Your story and your grief now taught me to overthink my "romantic vision". Within our pregrieving for Max we did have a change to say "good-bye" to him as we knew his time was coming. So, in all our sadness, we had been kind of "prepared".  Now I realize how it must feel to be robbed from this and I have no clue which is more devastating.

You are in my thoughts, dear MollysMom.




Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


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ForMitookie_03
Hi Jo,

I know what you mean about moments when things just hit you.  Last week at work one of my co-workers and I got on the topic of going through this particular restaurant's drive-thru on the way home to pick up a salad and barbeque chicken breast.  Just the word "chicken" made me so sad I started to cry.  I used to give Mitookie rotisserie chicken everyday.  For awhile there I was cooking a family pack of chicken thighs every Sunday so he would have chicken for the week.  If I ran out of chicken and didn't want to go to the store, I'd stop at that drive-thru to get him half of a barbequed chicken.  Did I mention Mitookie was a little bit spoiled?  LOL!

Marina
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
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Fiona_W
Dear Jo— I responded immediately to your story of Molly's sudden and unexpected death, because that is very much like what happened to my precious Oscar and Nénu ("nay-noo"). Oscar and Nénu were a brother-sister pair (littermates) of oriental shorthairs who both died suddenly last autumn when they were only three and one-half years old. (!) Oscar was the first to go, on October 26th. He was in the hospital for a minor surgery, which went just fine, and the following day, without any warning, his heart stopped. Just six weeks later, on December 9th, his sister Nénu died, also suddenly. We didn't have any time to prepare ourselves for either of their deaths. It's like they were just snatched out of our lives!

So I empathize a lot with your story of waking up and finding Molly dead. One moment they're with you, happy and loving, and the next moment they're gone—snuffed out like a candle. It's a devastating way to lose a friend!

And I agree with what the other folks have said about the guilt you feel: you don't need to feel guilty, and yet it's a normal part of the grieving process. My husband and I have been feeling guilty about dozens of tiny little things that don't matter in the least.

One suggestion I got that you might want to consider: since you have Molly's ashes, in an urn or something I assume, why not take a table or a shelf and set up a shrine for Molly... you could include a framed photo of her, the urn w/ her ashes, a couple of her favorite toys, her leash if you had one, and a vase of fresh flowers. Set it up in a quiet corner or in a quiet room, and use it as a place where you can sit and think about Molly, and talk to her. What I have found the most helpful thing about the shrine to Oscar and Nénu is that I go there at a certain time of day., every day without fail. That way, when the tears are welling up and my heart is flooded w/ piercing longing for my sweet orange kitties, I can tell myself, "You can save these tears and these feelings for the time when you sit before their shrine."

Right now, of course, Molly's death is so recent, I'm sure you're weeping and wailing often during the day. But it helps, it really helps... when you are able to do so.... to have a shrine for your sweet lost friend, and a certain time of day when you can go there and let yourself weep as much as you need to.

Just a suggestion...

Please know that I am thinking about you, Jo, and praying that your mourning will be bearable.

—peace, love, and rock-n-roll,

Fi ("fee")
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catiebee
Hi Jo,

The quiet. The not seeing them when we still expect to. Our aching hearts. It's all really tough.  And you never know what will suddenly bring a huge wave of grief and stun us all over again. You're not alone.

I definitely hold hope for that reunion one day!  And I do believe they knew how very very much we love them. They are intelligent, emotional little beings!

Hoping your day will contain encouragement and comfort.
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Mollysmomforever
Fi, thanks so much for all your kind words and suggestions.  I actually do have a small shelf with Molly's ashes and one of my favorite photos of her.  It is a great place to just remember her (and allow myself to be emotional if that's how I'm feeling that day).  I am sorry for your loss of your sweet Oscar and Nenu.  I assume that is their picture?  They were adorable.  Thank you again for sharing your ideas.


Molly's Mom Forever
Jo

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Mollysmomforever
Marina,  You really made me smile with your story of buying Mitookie 1/2 a barbequed chicken!  I'm sure he was not (too) spoiled!!  Yes, those moments just catch you when you least expect it.  I had to call the grooming studio this morning to cancel her appointment for next week.  I thought I could be all calm, cool and collected about delivering the news.  (And I strategically called after hours so I wouldn't have to talk to a human who might express sympathy and push me over the edge).  Anyway, you can probably guess what happened.  I started off strong leaving a message that Molly wouldn't be coming back, but, I started to lose it by the time I got to the end.  Molly hated getting groomed (even though the people were so kind and gentle), so, at least she doesn't have to do that anymore.  Thanks for checking in, Marina.  Hope your days are gradually getting easier.  I think of you often.
Molly's Mom Forever
Jo

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catiebee
Yeah. Hearing you, Jo. Sometimes things we think may be little hit us hard and bring fresh tears. I'm sorry about the call to the groomer.

I understand returning to Molly's picture and ashes. I keep looking again at some fur I trimmed from Marissa's coat, the blend of colors she was.

Grieving is such hard work. Take care of you. And I hope today is some easier for you. Hugs!
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Purzel
Yes - those moments....
We discussed years back with some friends that one could not make wool out of a Lab's fur. I was convinced that this was possible and I did spin a fine wool from Max' fur when he lost his winter coat. Today I found the wool as I cleaned a cabinet. I cried my heart out.

I also do have a nice corner in Max' room where his ashed are with lots of pictures of him and his very first toy. I like to go there and talk to him.

I hope you will have a better day today. Take good care.
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


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MissingScooty
Hi Jo, Checking in...I just read the last few of your threads from last three days. Of course I relate. That's why we are all so good at supporting each other 😉  I have to share...my boyfriend and his Dad always spoiled Scooter with rotisserie chicken from Costco. It's been 2 1/2 months and I still can't eat that type of chicken. Not sure if I ever will be able to again.

Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
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ForMitookie_03
Hi Jo,

I haven't been on the forum for a few days so I thought I'd say hello and I've been thinking about you.  Hope you are doing a little better.  It's been almost a month now that Mitookie passed and still have good and bad days.  I've had a few bad ones lately so I've been absent.  I hope you have a wonderful week.  Hugs to you!

Marina
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
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catiebee
You're in my thoughts this afternoon, Jo. How are you holding up? Hugs!
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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