phalaris14

Well, here I am three months later, being a member of a forum I never wanted to join.... but always knew I would be a member. I would not wish what I have experienced emotionally over the last three months on anyone. This much emotional distress cannot be healthy... yet I know it is an essential part of the healing process. I too have had so many of the same experiences as on robertiarobertian1959's post that I could have just copied it as my own. Lady's ashes are constantly by my side, I talk to her all the time, the tears flow at least every other day, those gut wrenching reminders letting us know they are no longer. On Monday, I was running late and happened to see a lady walking her Basset ( first one I have seen in three months) I drove to the other side of the street, parked and watched them for several minutes. I just sat there and cried; overcome with memories and sadness. I so desperately wanted to go over and tell her to cherish the time they have together... but felt foolish in doing so.

  Guilt adds to the burden. Guilty that I am still here and she isn't. Guilt for all the times Lady wanted love.. but I was too busy. The worst is that I was an active participant in the demise of what I loved most. The question, " did I do the right thing " haunts us all.
  I often wonder what my little " Fur Angel" is doing right now. I so desperately want to believe in this Rainbow Bridge. When my time comes, I will look forward to the time of taking our cigar walks with my group of long lost friends... with Lady leading the pack. Living on a farm, I am surrounded by animals. But I must admit.. this little Basset ...with a mind of her own..... touched me in a way as no other.  I miss her so much. I love you Lady.

ps.... I still have not washed the nose prints off the front door.  [12132473_1069795406417930_6957898845028344182_o] 
 
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jimmy17
Hi Phalaris14, how I agree with you. I never knew it was possible to feel so sad for so long ( 14 weeks for me ), it surely can`t be good for the mind and body, I just don`t seem to have any level of energy anymore.  I feel so much more upset over losing Jim than I have over family members. 
 Whenever I see a little tan dog, I get such a sad feeling that its not MY little tan dog, and like you I sometimes feel like telling people to appreciate the time they have with their dogs.  I sincerely believe that they are all over the Bridge, happy and youthful once more, but how I would love to be able to take a `sneaky peek` at them all, just so I could know for sure.  I love your photo of Lady, such a beautiful girl. She sounds like your special Once in a Lifetime dog, just as Jim was mine.  
How very much we loved them, and how very sadly missed they are. 
                               Jackie

J Taylor
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LUCYLULU
Phalaris~  I am so glad that Lady's paw prints are still there on the door. Might make a special picture in a frame...with a poem of your choice. (i.e.-- e.e. cummings 'I Carry Your Heart' as Bailey's Mum & Hannah's Dad posted about)

What an amazing picture of your Lady!  A perfect girl in a perfect curl in her perfect spot. The guilt & replay really does come in waves. And like Jackie wrote, I have zero energy too. We are all depleted in so many ways. I am not a depressed, or glass half empty person. It's just that time is moving along & I still mostly like I am going through the motions. Somehow...in large part because of this forum and everyone here...I think we are all supporting each other so that we can get to a place of healing. Whether it's 3 months, as with Lady, or even longer, we are all truly grieving and doing the best we can. Extra hugs, Kasey
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Chrissy
Lady was beautiful and so obviously special. Life can be cruel sometimes and like many of us who have experienced the loss of our special babies its comforting to know that we are all here for one another. We feel each others pain.  I hope as I have that this forum helps in times of emotional distress X
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