phalaris14
[12132473_1069795406417930_6957898845028344182_o]  Well, here I am three months later, being a member of a forum I never wanted to join.... but always knew I would be a member. I would not wish what I have experienced emotionally over the last three months on anyone. This much emotional distress cannot be healthy... yet I know it is an essential part of the healing process. I too have had so many of the same experiences as on robertiarobertian1959's post that I could have just copied it as my own. Lady's ashes are constantly by my side, I talk to her all the time, the tears flow at least every other day, those gut wrenching reminders letting us know they are no longer. On Monday, I was running late and happened to see a lady walking her Basset ( first one I have seen in three months) I drove to the other side of the street, parked and watched them for several minutes. I just sat there and cried; overcome with memories and sadness. I so desperately wanted to go over and tell her to cherish the time they have together... but felt foolish in doing so.
  Guilt adds to the burden. Guilty that I am still here and she isn't. Guilt for all the times Lady wanted love.. but I was too busy. The worst is that I was an active participant in the demise of what I loved most. The question, " did I do the right thing " haunts us all.
  I often wonder what my little " Fur Angel" is doing right now. I so desperately want to believe in this Rainbow Bridge. When my time comes, I will look forward to the time of taking our cigar walks with my group of long lost friends... with Lady leading the pack. Living on a farm, I am surrounded by animals. But I must admit.. this little Basset ...with a mind of her own..... touched me in a way as no other.  I miss her so much. I love you Lady.

ps.... I still have not washed the nose prints off the front door. 
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Todohert
I understand how you feel. We had to put down our first dog about 8 years ago and I wanted to die. Just 36 hours ago we had to put down our second dog very suddenly and the guilt of whether we made the right decision is almost paralyzingly, but deep down I know we did the right thing. We may miss our dog Jake so much.

I also never thought I Would find myself back at Pet Loss sites, but they are so helpful. Helpful in helping me know this pain and guilt I feel are normal and that we did the right thing. I woke up this morning thinking the tears had finally stopped, but ever time I think about Jake or write something they seem to flow.

Grief over a pet is so personal and more intense because we have lost our companion who loved us unconditionally. A love that many people don't understand.
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