I am devastated by the loss of my 8 year old boxer. He was my buddy and companion. A few weeks ago he developed ulcers in his eye that wouldn't heal. I know it was painful, but he still was eating and enjoying walks. My husband felt that with some of his other health issues (bad teeth, bad back, occasional seizures, severe animal aggression) it was time to put him to sleep. I wanted to use my savings for eye surgery. My husband felt it would be irresponsible to deplete our savings when we have a baby on the way and when he was sure to have many expensive heath issues cropping up in the near future due to his age. We argued about it for a day and the next morning he told me that I should go to work& he was taking the dog to the vet. I begged against it, but when I couldn't change his mind, I went with to comfort my baby at the end. I haven't stopped crying since. I am racked with guilt and feel like I didn't do enough to save him. I know my husband feels upset about putting the dog to sleep. He says if he knew how deeply this was going to affect me, he would have reconsidered. He rationalises because of how tight we are with money and how leaving his eye untreated to keep getting worse would have been cruel. Hrs admitted he was being selfish,too. With his last dog he let him suffer way too long and with this one, he hated seeing him in pain knowing it would only get worse, so he put him down much earlier than needed. The stress of owning an aggressive animal played a role in his decision, too. I know he worries I hate him now. I don't know how to move n from my own feelings of loss and guilt. I'm sure many people will think we are terrible dog owners. I feel like the worst person in the world.
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Please don't feel bad that you made the wrong decision. It sounds like your boy was having problems that may not have left you with much of a choice.  It would have been more heart retching  if you had left him to get worse knowing that finances where going to be an issue especially with a baby on the way.  Please don't beat yourself up and take comfort that he is no longer in pain. This is how I cope with the loss of my handsome boy Duke we lost him to cancer in February. Lets hope we can all find peace some day and that we can then just look back on the good times we had and not concentrate on the bad.  Sending healing thoughts X 
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I agree with Chrissy,

It seems you had little choice and these decisions are always just so difficult.
We had our boy Spike put to sleep almost 5 weeks ago. He wasn't in any immedicate risk of dying but all things considered it was the right time for him and I think this is what you have to remember. You say your boy had problems with agression - it would have been VERY difficult if not impossible to re-home him. You made sure that those who loved him the most were with him when he passed over.
I wonder if your hormones are having an impact on how you are feeling right now - being pregnant.
When Spike first went over Rainbow Bridge I was ok immedictaley afterwards but within a couple of days I just wanted to curl up into a ball and die - the mental pain was unbearable. The doubts, the replaying the scene in my head. That is slowly but surely getting easier. It will for you too but it will take time and acceptance.
Sending a big hg.

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As someone who just lost their dog this week and is also pregnant, I understand your pain. Although our situations are different, you being there with your fur baby until the end is what he needed. My dog Teigo had many eye issues over the years, and fixing them is much more expensive than you would expect. I know you wanted to do anything you could for your little boy, but take comfort in knowing that he now doesn't have to worry about his eyes always hurting him.

You are not a bad person for letting him go. He seems like he had lots of other troubles on top of his eye ulcers, and our little fur babies are really good at hiding pain until it becomes too much for them. You are not the worst person in the world, and you need to know that. You were a good puppy mama and you took care of your boy, and even fought with your husband for him. That shows how much love you each had for your dog.
Teigo's Mama
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I understand how you feel. We had to put our sweet yellow lab "Jake" 3 days ago. He was old and was starting to deteriorate. We took him in for a cough and found out he had cancer. We bought him home and made the decision to euthanize him and did it that same day. So sudden and so unexpected. We could of paid for more testing and medication to keep him longer, but we really didn't want to see him keep declining and not have a good quality of like. Our decision was heart breaking. I've cried everyday from guilt, sadness, and just missing him so much, but it is getting better. It will for you too.

My suggestion is to cry whenever you need to. Do what you need to do to give yourself comfort. I would walk around the house looking for signs of Jake....fur on the couch, a faint scent of him where he slept, paw prints in the sounds crazy but it actually helped me to grieve and cry. I also wrote his story and a letter to him. I still shed a tear when retread them, but it has helped.

I've posted on this forum expressing the same guilt and 100% of the responses I received confirmed that we did the right thing. I believe your dog knows you did what you did out of love. It will get better.

Big hug....
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As everyone has already posted, Pleade don't feel bad about the decision.  My Winston was also an agressive dog.  He developed "cherry eye" as a pup.  2 operations later, it kept coming back on the left eye.  Finally Vet suggested not to put him under anasthesia anymore and to leave it be.  I bought all the medicines necessary and cleaned it daily.  You're right. It is extremely expensive. If you don't mind me saying so, there was no way to tell if he would have been agressive with the new baby.Winston also had other health problems He nor I could ignore any longer. Like you and your husband, The money just wasn't there, I am on Disability S.S. As Chrissy said, the first couple of days i was ok. but then the guilt and questions hit me.  Could I have done Something? I was Hysterical for days. I couldn't be around people, I didn't shower or eat. My daughters wanted me to go to a hospital. I have made peace with myself, and know I did the right thing for Winston.  Hugs XO
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sickinside, so sorry to hear about the loss of your loved boxer.   gosh hon I so feel your pain in your post and from what you write sounds like you both had been dealing with medical issues with your beautiful boy that would only get worse as he aged.  sometimes what happens is not in our hands to fix or make it all better; things often happen as they were meant to whether we can understand the whys.  when I first lost my service dog roxie the night after Christmas I had so many questions flying through my mind that it all started not to make any sense (my questions, that is).  I turned back to my faith after roxie's passing and have called upon it in the bad days of grief that I still have.  there is a divine plan for each and every one of the creatures of creation and I realized it was not my place to question God's will or plan.  of course that doesn't mean I liked it, just that I had no right questioning it but rather instead I say "your will be done on earth as in heaven".  having roxie come through for me through a reputable pet medium and telling me that I did all I could do for her and she was at peace with her passing.  gosh, how can you question that?  our babies are young, healthy and whole again playing like puppies and kittens across the bridge where they wait for us to join them eventually.  try to keep talking to your boy since i'm sure his spirit has never left you or the home he knew so well.  we're all here for each other so hon, you aren't alone at all!  many many hugs
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I am so sorry sweetheart, we all on here feel your pain and I know no one thinks badly of you. Your poor baby was in pain, probably much more than he would show as they are so stoic and brave. Please don't feel guilty, you gave him 8 wonderful years of love and helped him to find peace before he suffered too much. He would have had a very different life if you hadn't given him a wonderful home and would not have been as happy or lived as long without the care you gave him. He knows how much you love him, we can all see that. Take care my friend and talk freely on here as we all care about you. Love and hugs to you, your other half and bump. Xxx
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Dear Sickinside,

Everyone has to do what they feel is right. Personally, I would have done everything to save him. That's me. 
I'm also divorced and would never let a man dictate to me what I feel is right.
If this helps, I saw a psychic and she told me regardless of how they die, it's there choice when their soul chooses to be born
and chooses to die. It was meant to be.
If you are in doubt again, talk to a different vet. Cancer, yes, the other issues could have been resolved, I would not have done it but
I'm not in your shoes with a new baby on the way.
I found out my ex husband put down a diabetic cat as it was too much trouble for him.
That was the year I spent 16,000 on a cat I was told had asthma. In reality he had a fatal disease that should have been
put down.
You do what you have to do. It's done now. Learn from your experience and move forward. Energy doesn't die.
Talk to your dog. They are there.

Lisa Lombardi
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I totally understand. I have been on RB many times and I am still a mess and it has been 6 months on April 7. I KNOW I euthanized my dog too soon and I'm still looking for answers on how to make sense of this, knowing he was the center of my world. I cry every day. If I left myself, I'd never get off the floor. I thought I did the right thing, but the next morning I hated myself and haven't stopped. It's hard to feel like anyone understands, but that is what it is like for me. Total devastation. I have no answers, I'm just trying to make sense of what I did. So many regrets. So much sadness. I'd give anything to see my boy again.

I hope you find peace.
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Everyone has feelings of guilt and wondering if they could have done more. It is part of the grieving process. It's OK to allow yourselves to feel what you feel and to cry it out. Counseling may help you. But don't beat yourself up. It sounds like you did everything good for you baby and his quality of life is most important. He was obviously in pain despite being able to do some things, and he would not improve. I do think you should feel too regretful. Hugs to you.
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