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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #76 
Molly's mom...  I love so much that you talk to your Molly and write to her as I do to my angel.  I really believe they know.  The holidays are so hard without them and I know your Molly is always on your mind as my Dali is for me.  Some people tell you it gets "easier" with time, but 27 months now and I feel the same as the first day.  Everyone is different and everyone grieves differently.  Your love for Molly is so apparent in your writings and I know your Molly listens and knows how much she is loved and missed.  All we can do is live day to day, minute to minute, and do the best we can.  We are all in this together and none of us is here by "choice"...we are here because we find comfort here.  I, myself, feel very close to Dali when I am on this forum as I know she is close by.  Hugs to you and Molly....from me and Dali
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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
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CKMP

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Reply with quote  #77 

Molly's Mom,

Your love for your sweet Molly comes through in every word you write for her and to her . . .There is never ever enough time with our special fur ones - and while we walk through the days somehow putting one foot ahead of the other, we are forever [and "fur ever"] changed by the time we have had with them and changed through our loss and grief.  When we lose that special one, we lose so much of who we are and how we define our day and our role.  Our routines, though mundane, become the very moments that are so precious and moments we so long to have back once again.  
Grief travels its own path and takes its own time - I have come to a 'sense of peace' in realizing that if grief, sorrow, broken heart and an emptiness travel with us forever, it is ok - it does not mean eternal sadness - and does not close the door to other 'happinesses' and smiles and laughter, it just means a piece of us is lost. . .as one so loved and critical has been lost.
Do not let guilt or second guessing move in though - you did all you could possibly do for Molly - and she knows this - she loves you so deeply and unconditionally still - nothing will break or lessen the bond. . .She will be with you always. . .  She hears your voice, understands the emotion behind each word spoken to her . . .
Nothing prepares the heart for this break, and nothing prepares us for living after our loss - we somehow teach ourselves how to make a different life knowing it is different as an integral being to that life is no longer physically by our side.  We are so lucky to have that pure, unconditional adoring love from our special one - so lucky to have shared their lives and learned so many lessons from them . . .and so gratitude for all given and all shared can help form those special memories from those mundane moments that bring both the tears and smiles.
This forum is a life line - so so many wonderfully unselfish, caring and understanding people - as the road of loss and grief is indeed a 'rough' road often taking us much longer to navigate and understand the direction of than we thought it might.  
Molly was a special girl and a lucky girl to have found you . . .Know always in your heart she still travels with you - never far.
Take care.

 

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Molly_Beagle_Mom_4ever

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Reply with quote  #78 
CKMP, thank you so much for your kind words. We do lose a piece of who we are when that special fur-ever baby is no longer physically by our side. I want to be strong for her, and I hope my heart allows the happier times to come through as it begins to heal. She is such an integral part of my life, and I want that to continue in a good way. Nowhere are we ever taught how difficult this will be, how much we will struggle to redefine who we are and what our role will look like when our routine is completely changed, how many negative emotions will try to take over. It seems impossible to prepare for how we feel after having such pure love taken from our daily life. This forum is the only place I've found to help navigate the winding path. It truly is a lifeline, a source of compassion and understanding that is critical to all of us. I am so grateful for everyone who takes the time to share their fur baby stories and experiences so none of us journey alone. Thank you again for your support and insight.

Molly's Mom (Dawn)

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Love you infinitely our little Molly. Forever and ever XOXO
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Molly_Beagle_Mom_4ever

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Reply with quote  #79 
Sweet Molly, mornings are the very worst for me. I am normally an early riser, and you would follow me out to your living room bed so we could spend it together. I can't bring myself to get out of bed these days. The memories of us sharing that time are still too painful for me. The love we share is so strong, I think it will take a long time for me to get through my sorrow of you not being physically by my side. I miss everything about your beautiful being, I miss us. I hope you are still with me everywhere I go, as many have told me, because I am hoping to feel that soon. For now, my heart is still empty and broken after eight weeks. I can't believe I have survived this time. I love you so much little MoMo, and that will never change. You are my soul fur baby. Please have fun, sniff and run with no pain, and let me know you are still with me.

Love, Mommy

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Love you infinitely our little Molly. Forever and ever XOXO
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Molly_Beagle_Mom_4ever

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Reply with quote  #80 
Sweet Molly, I love you so. My heart aches to hold you. Nothing feels comfortable as it used to. This feeling is relentless, and I can't seem to remember all the many years of good times. My mind just isn't working well right now, like it's blocked. Missing you is devastating, one of the worst experiences of my life. I feel so cold and empty. My little soul dog, I love you, again and again.

Mommy

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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #81 
Mollys mom....
New Year's eve and so many people celebrating.  It is so hard.  I am very thankful tonight that it is raining here and has been all day, so no fireworks.  My girl hated them and would shake uncontrollably and hide, no matter how I tried to comfort her.  I feel maybe she is comforting me tonight by there not being any to remind me of how horrified she would be.  Eight weeks is a very short time, yet I know it must seem like a lifetime to you.  It is hard to remember anything except the would have, should haves, the last moments...days....and all we wish we could say to them now.  Your Molly is a star, she is everywhere and I pray she brings you comfort.  May this new year be filled with peace and love and the sweet memories of our angels with many signs.  I talk to my girl every day, every time I go outside, every time I go to sleep, every time I breathe....   Hugs to you and your Molly from me and my Dali

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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
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Molly_Beagle_Mom_4ever

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Reply with quote  #82 
Sweet Molly, Happy New Year my darling girl. Words can't describe how much I miss you. Nothing feels the same without you by my side sharing it. You are my soul fur baby, my little fur child, the light of everyday. Your were the last child at home since your human sister is grown, and the house is so quiet and empty. Just like my heart. Daddy and I cry everyday missing you. You are constantly on my mind, all the love you gave is unforgettable. I need that forever. My sadness lingers and takes over my thoughts. I never wanted to believe or think about the fact you were almost 17, and that dreaded day would sometime come around. It's just not fair how quickly this all happens with our fur children. That unconditional love deserves so much more time. I pray you are happy, comfortable, and having such fun with all your friends. Please visit me when you can MoMo. I love you so much.

Mommy

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Molly_Beagle_Mom_4ever

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Reply with quote  #83 
My sweet Molly at age 15

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Molly_Beagle_Mom_4ever

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Reply with quote  #84 
Molly on a walk, age 15

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jonancy

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Reply with quote  #85 
Hi Molly's Mom

Your posts to your Molly tugs at my heart. I know how hard the holidays can be, last year was brutal for us. Someone a long time ago said to me, it gets easier. It took a very long time for me to believe this. I think, you actually learn to live your new normal life without. It is still very early in the journey for you. I remember thinking in the beginning in a month I'll be okay then that month gets here and I feel no better and on and on it goes. Your Molly will always be a part of you, she is in your heart forever. Her picture are so adorable!! My husband and I still cry for Scooter (and we rescued a five month old after thirteen months without Scooter). I'm not saying to get another, I'm saying our boy is and always will be a part of us. It's hard and everyone heals at their own pace, please don't be hard on yourself. Talk to Molly, I do believe she hears you. It took a very long time for me to remember good memories, I could only remember his last day. But finally, my husband and I could talk about happy times. Please know, I think about you and we all understand all too well here at this forum. Try to have a Haply New Year.

Take care my friend,
Jonancy... Scooter's Mama
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Molly_Beagle_Mom_4ever

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Reply with quote  #86 
Little Molly, today marks two months since that most dreaded day. A part of me is missing, a big part of my heart, my home, my life. I still feel like that will never change. The sadness is relentless. I want to honor you, to make sure you are taken care of, to hold you and hug you. I feel like every step I take without you is a step I take away from you. I feel like everything I do without you is dishonoring you because I'm not doing it with you. I still feel like I should be taking care of you, helping you with stairs, cleaning your ears, brushing your teeth, giving you treats, walking you in your stroller. I feel bad for not doing these things with you, for you. Almost 17 years together, my little fur child I never imagined it would ever have to change. Over time, we adapted to your needs and continued on. This is one change I don't know if I will ever adapt to. I cry all the time. I know this happens to many people, but I feel so alone in how deeply I am still grieving. Most of those around me are not very understanding. I don't want to make you sad baby girl, because I know you are in a better place. I just want that place to be with me. Daddy misses you so much too. He is stronger than mommy, but he tries to help me work through my grief. I feel like I can barely function at times. Just going through the motions. I hope in time I can begin to heal with you right near me sweet Molly. I don't like feeling this way, but my world is upside down without you. Your unconditional pure love has my heart. We love you and miss you dearly little MoMo.

Mommy and Daddy

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #87 
mollys mom

you honor your sweet molly with every word you post and every thought that comes from your heart and like your above post I feel exactly like you do and most people just don't understand that life hasn't moved on for me or you and several others on this forum and like you I feel everything I do without my boy is cheating him but its really not as our babies are happy and pain free now and I know they were happy with us but as much as we tried we could not keep them pain free so now they finally have that in heaven and are looking down on us and always with us as they are held near in our hearts and always will be until they meet us at the bridge to once again be with us in our next journey , peace,hugs and comfort to you and molly's daddy in this trying time .

littleguys mom

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pamela meadows
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LUCYLULU

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Reply with quote  #88 
Hi Dawn~  Two months from losing Molly is still so raw, so new. Please know that we all understand.  I love her pictures @ 15 y/o. She looks like she's ready for adventure :-)

Sometimes, in the first few months, I thought I was losing my mind. Other times,  I felt numb-- as if I was robot just getting through the day. Then something would trigger the tsunami and I'd cry so hard it hurt all over. I'd be choking. Please try & remember that Molly is with you-- always. Everyone is different. We all need to find our way through the monstrous pain. What helped me in the early months was to keep talking to my Lucy-- aloud and especially in the car. I took out & then put back her blanket in the back seat. It was her spot. Took a long time to remove it. Also, Marianne Soucy's Healing Pet Loss site helped. I did the Sacred Spirit Journey in the early weeks. It's not for everyone but she helped me. I keep the short message on my desktop. If I need to read again, it's right there. Writing in a journal helps many people.

After over one year, I truly know-- that finding the forum & the caring people herein-- helped the most. It's because we really understand how fierce the emptiness is...and the pain without our babies.  Hugs & healing, Kasey
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Molly_Beagle_Mom_4ever

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Reply with quote  #89 
Kasey and Pamela, thank you so much. I do feel like I'm losing my mind, almost like I'm going down hill rather than up. It's so good to know from other people that it's not abnormal. I love her so much. I feel like the more time that passes, the further I am from her. I want to feel her close to me, but I have not been able to feel that yet. Thank you for your continued support and helping me work my way through this terrible experience.

Dawn (Molly's Mom)

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Molly_Beagle_Mom_4ever

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Reply with quote  #90 
Hi Kasey, I ordered a couple books on pets and afterlife. I will check out that website you mentioned. I do believe they will be with us again, and I want to know that Molly is ok. I'm hoping they help me see this. One of the terrible feelings I'm having right now is that she is looking for me and needs me. Probably because I need her, but I feel like I've abandoned her and I can't do anything about getting to her. I just want to comfort her. As time passes, I feel like I'm not getting home to take care of her for even longer. Maybe this is one of the early feelings of guilt or grief, and I'm wondering if you had any similar feelings in the beginning? I know she has no pain or hurt, but she would bay at us when we got home if we had to leave her for an hour or two. I picture her yearning for being with us. I am having trouble seeing her at the bridge, with her friends and family, being happy without us. She truly loved being with us and was friendly with all people and animals but was most comfortable alone with us. I feel like when I pet another fur baby, I'm betraying her and she sees it. I can't get that picture out of my head...yet.

Thank you so much to you and to everyone for your help through this.

Molly's Mom (Dawn)

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Love you infinitely our little Molly. Forever and ever XOXO
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