Pet Loss Support
Your Pet's Health
Cancer Support Forum
We lost our Todd, and our home feels broken
Pet Loss Support
Join the conversation
Username or Email
Forgot your password?
Keep me logged in
Create an account
Hello everyone, my name is Jordan. My girlfriends name is Kayleigh. Our dogs names are Todd and Copper, like in Fox and the Hound. The boys are three years old, and only one of them will be turning four because of a reckless man.
January 12 around 2:30am, I had just gotten off work and when I arrived home, as was the norm, my two beagle-border collie mixes rushed to the door to greet me and welcome their daddy home. I received many kisses and hugs which would always lighten my mood no matter how bad a day I had. I let them outside while I used the restroom, and when I came back outside I found them across the road sniffing at a box of food someone threw out of their vehicle. I got on to them because they knew better, and brought them inside. I showered and laid down with my girlfriend in bed, with our two sons at our sides. In my book, it was another good day down.
January 12 around 6:50am, Kayleigh let our boys outside of the house like normal to go potty before she had to go to work. It was a typical morning, the sun was out, it was cold and the road conditions weren’t bad, but still weary enough for any driver with common sense to drive more cautiously. We live in an area where deer are constantly crossing, and it’s not uncommon to see deer on the side of the road. ANYONE that lives on, or near this area knows not to drive like a mad man. Yet we still have people that do it anyway. The area in front of our house is flat, and you can see perfectly a mile up the road either way.
Around 7am, I woke up after hearing one of my boys barking like he was scared. Like something horrible had just happened. I walked to the door to see my girlfriend talking to a man who had pulled into our drive, I quickly threw on some clothes and rushed outside. She turned to me with tears rolling down her face, and said something I’ll never forget.
“Todd is dead.”
My world came crashing down, I instantly started crying. They had crossed the road to sniff at that box of food again, the box I saw the night before. The box I should have picked up and thrown away. I took off across the yard and ran down the road, hoping that he was just injured, that maybe he just had some wounds that we could care for. But that’s not what I saw. I saw my baby laying on the side of the road, still. The road was splattered with a crimson red, I won’t go deep into the details, but... it was obvious the man had taken my son Todd from me. I couldn’t help but fall to my knees and kiss my baby’s head, I wanted so badly for him to make a sound, for him to be alright. But with the condition he was in and what was... on the road, I pray and pray that he left this Earth in an instant.
As I walked back the man started talking to me, there was no apology. There was no sorrow or sincerity in his voice. The first words out of his mouth were about his newer vehicle and the damage done to it. I kept my cool at first, because I know things like this happen.
At first I thought it was an accident, but the damage done to his vehicle was on the corner, and the first blood trail on the road is in the middle of the road, and the second is in the other lane. The more I think about it now, the more I think he killed my child on purpose, so he could get money or newer parts for his SUV.
I asked him if he wasn’t paying attention, I asked him if he was speeding, the more I asked, the more the man couldn’t give me a straight answer. It didn’t take me long to find out that for the conditions of that day he was driving faster than he should have been, there were no tread marks as if he tried to stop. The man wasn’t paying attention, he has killed my baby and felt nothing.
When my girl told me that when she was knelt over our boy with tears in her eyes sobbing, the man was just picking up a few pieces of the plastic off the road and tossing them aside, complaining and talking about the damage that was done to his vehicle. When she told me this I wanted so badly to hurt that man, I wanted to make him pay. I will admit after hearing how he disrespected my family, I got angry. I started getting closer, pointing a finger at him, telling him everything he did wrong, everything that any beginner driver would obviously know, I was ready to kill that man. I hate to say that, but the closer I got the more furious I got. As I was within a few feet of him Kayleigh grabbed my arm, and that’s what snapped me slightly out of my rage. He backed away saying he was calling the police, and I told him go ahead. I would wait. She went inside the house, and I waited in our yard.
The State Patrolmen arrived, and I patiently waited almost 20 minutes for the officer to get done talking to the man and come talk to me. The officer never came over, obviously more concerned about the man, which to a point I understand. At this point I was furious and tired of waiting, my boy was dead, and needed to be cared for. I went inside and grabbed his favorite blanket, went back out and got a wheelbarrow, and went to my dog.
I’ll never forget it. Never. I’ve been in the military for a few years now, I wrote my will when I was 19, all this time I’ve prepped myself for killing and to be killed just in case that day ever comes, seeing what weapons cause what damage, we’ve had classes and seen a lot of ugly things. I myself have never been in the sand pit yet and I’m thankful for that, but we always have to prep and be ready.
(This paragraph is a little graphic, so skip this if you have a weak stomach.)
Seeing a dead person isn’t that hard to deal with. But.. having to pick up... pieces, of my dog, my boy, my son, as time goes on it’s like I’m having a harder time remembering things. I know I did them, I just don’t remember ‘doing’ them. I tried not to look, but I tried to put everything back... inside. I remember all the blood on my coat and hands. I remember grabbing gloves beforehand, but I was in such a rush and not in a clear state of mind I didn’t put them on. Once I was done as gently as I could, I picked him up in my arms, laid him in the blanket, and covered him. He felt like he was still alive, you know? His skin and fur felt like any other day.
As I was wheeling him to the back of the house, the officer finally came over and asked me if we had home owners insurance, and said not much would probably come of this, and that he was sorry. In less than five minutes he had heard everything he needed to from me, but after almost 25-30 minutes he apparently had heard everything he needed to from the man. The man was towed away and the officer left.
My parents let us burry Todd in their back yard next to the family dog, and Dad even made him a little headstone. Todd would have liked it.
January 12, around 8:30am I started digging our Todds grave. You’ve no idea how hard it is to dig your baby’s grave. Each swing with my shovel took more effort, each bit of dirt got heavier. Around 9am I laid our boy in his grave with his favorite blankets, and we laid his favorite toy in with him. In less than three hours our son was taken from us. Just hours before the event, I was playing with him, he was giving me kisses, he stayed in the living room while I watched a little TV before bed. We shared a package of ritz crackers. Crackers were his favorite snack. Every morning he’d get let out, and then he’d come running back inside and jump up on the bed with me and lay down. He always waited for me to go to bed, to wake up. He knew the sound of me checking my phone to look at the time under the blankets, and he knew Dad was up.
A few hours later, we received a call from the mans insurance agent, saying how the man demanded we pay for the damages done to his vehicle, even though he had full coverage. We don’t have home owners insurance, and if we do have to end up paying for this, we don’t have the money to be throwing around. Some time in July we’re expecting our first born. Our house needs repairs and we’ve lent our second vehicle to family so we only have my truck which isn’t the greatest, but it gets us around. 2018 has only just started, and it’s easily been the hardest year I’ve had to deal with in my 24 years on this earth.
Our home has been damaged. We still have one of our babies and I can’t stop thanking God that both of our kids weren’t taken from us. But there’s a huge hole in our hearts where Todd used to be. His toys are still all over the house. His rain jacket is still on the hook, he only got to wear it once and his mom didn’t even get to see it. His tennis balls are in the yard, his rope toys are all in the toy crate, there’s muddy paw prints in my passenger seat from my boy, his favorite toys were these big plastic rings that only he chewed on, we always get things in pairs for our boys so Copper had one as well, but Todd just had to have both. He’d chew on one and lay on the other, and then growl/chew at Copper who would be the biggest baby about it, and now they just sit in the crate by the couch. Now that Todd is gone, Copper doesn’t even seem to care about them anymore. Thelast one Todd chewed on is still laying on the pillow in the middle of our bed where he left it that morning. His food bowl will go unused. His collar hangs on our coat rack.
Thank you for your time if you read the whole thing, I know it’s long but our hearts are hurting so badly and this is a way for me personally to vent. I haven’t stopped shaking, my chest is still hurting, my hands smell like him even after washing them over and over. I see him all over the house, and I just wait to hear his usual chewing sounds on those rings, but they never come. Earlier I was playing with Copper the way I used to play with Todd, and I started to say the line i’d say to Todd while teasing him and I caught myself halfway. Kayleigh was watching and we both just started crying, because for a split second it was like our boy was home. Every time I hear a car drive by I stop what I’m doing and listen, it’s like a constant reminder of what happened. This is the first night I’ll have slept in our bedroom and not on the couch, I tried to earlier today and I just couldn’t do it. I hate it, I absolutely hate it. When we drive into town, now we have to drive by a horrendous scene. The road is just.. covered. I know Kayleigh is hurting too, Todd was her special baby I can only imagine what she’s going through. That man took everything from us that day, and he didn’t give it a second thought. But I’ll remember this for the rest of my life. We all will.
And our big baby Copper, every time he goes outside one of us always goes with him for fear of losing him too. He always goes to the corner of the yard near the accident, and sniffs. He looks across the road, searching. The wheelbarrow I used I put into a shed behind the house, and he continually goes to that shed and sniffs, hops up on his hind legs and looks inside through the window with just a confused look on his face. I don’t think he knows what happened and he’s looking for his brother, I’m sure he was so scared. You can tell he’s depressed; he lays with us all the time now, he doesn’t go too far from us, he doesn’t do a lot of the things he used to and it makes us so sad. After I had originally picked Todd up and wheeled him to the back, I came inside for just a second, and Copper could smell it. The dirt, his brother, the blood. He wouldn’t stop barking at me, backing away from me, he was so confused and scared. I was terrified he thought I was the one that had done something to his brother. I’m still worried he thinks that.
Even sometimes inside the house, he’ll go to the windows and hop up on them and look outside. He never used to do that. He’s searching for something that’ll never come and it rips at my heart.
I want to just type so much more and honestly that may be why parts of this seem out of place, because I keep going back and adding things as I think of them, I may come back to this just so I can vent. It helps. Not a lot but it helps a little. I may even have Kayleigh come on here and tell her side of it. Have her vent a little. Thank you again for your time.
324.03 KB · 4 views
1.73 MB · 3 views
110.93 KB · 3 views
111.71 KB · 3 views
889.56 KB · 3 views
2.40 MB · 3 views
2.06 MB · 3 views
1.11 MB · 3 views
634.01 KB · 4 views
597.47 KB · 4 views
3.08 MB · 4 views
535.77 KB · 3 views
570.83 KB · 4 views
1.82 MB · 4 views
681.50 KB · 4 views
126.68 KB · 4 views
2.40 MB · 4 views
101.36 KB · 4 views
2.53 MB · 3 views
174.85 KB · 4 views
187.53 KB · 4 views
5.63 MB · 4 views
3.07 MB · 3 views
624.48 KB · 3 views
824.81 KB · 3 views
545.23 KB · 3 views
2.08 MB · 3 views
2.55 MB · 3 views
154.60 KB · 4 views
1.35 MB · 4 views
You guys have such beautiful babies. My husband and I just recently lost one of our beloved dogs— which was this morning. I haven’t stopped crying. I will be praying for you and your family. I’ve always believed that karma has a way of getting around with people. Justice will be served.
As far as you and your family. I learned that, all we can do now is just let our beloved pet’s memories live on. Let’s remember the good days we had, and cherish them. May we learn to love like our pets do, and to be fiercely loyal like they are. Praying for you guys!
Hi Jordan, I am so very sorry for the sudden and tragic loss of your beautiful Todd, and I can`t imagine just how heartbreaking it must have been for you and Kayleigh to have witnessed the aftermath.... The attitude of the driver is beyond belief - how utterly insensitive... and like the previous post, I too believe in karma. This will take a long time to come to terms with - if ever you can, and I really don`t know what to say that will bring you much comfort right now. Just know that everyone here understands your grief and anger, and you still have Copper and each other, with a new baby to look forward to. Your photo`s of your boys are just beautiful....... Once again, I am so sorry, take care.
Hugs and prayers, Jackie.
Oh my dear. This story makes me so sad and so mad at the same time.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. There are no words to ease the excruciating pain you are going through right now. What an uncaring soul came into your life whose only concern was the damage to his car? What a complete and utter nightmare.
We all know the pain of suffering the loss of our fur babies. But the final images of your Todd that you have ingrained in your memory has got to be the absolute worst. My heart goes out to you,
Kayleigh and Copper. Stay close to each other at this very difficult time. You can tell that Todd was loved deeply and the loss is devastating.
I wish you peace at this very difficult and unfathomable time in your lives. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. RIP Todd. :(
Web Address (URL)
Paste an image URL here:
If your URL is correct, you'll see an image preview here Large images may take a few minutes to appear.
Remember: Using others' images on the web without their permission may be bad manners, or worse, copyright infringement.
Unsupported photo file type. Please upload the file as a post attachment instead.
Share this post
Link to post
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You need to be logged in to send an email.
Forgot your password?
Keep me logged in
Smileys & People
Food & Drink
Travel & Places
Enter your video clip URL below:
Supported videos include:
Please paste your code into the box below: