Frank68
in the early hours of Saturday morning I was awoken by a noise in our kitchen, which is usually a sign our lab Ron needs to go out. The night before he had refused his food, which he has done on occasions before but as he went out to toilet before bed we thought best to leave him and see how he goes in the night. Hence when woken I went down. When I opened the door I was in shock, having seen our last lab die I knew what could be happening, I just slumped down, stroked him, hugged him and then just sat on settee. He seemed settled, only sign of heavier. chest movement. I then decided not to call emergency vet. About an hour later my wife came down and he was losing control of bowels and we tried to move him but he just went. The pain is excruciating, more than any other grief I have experienced. I keep thinking of why more could I have done, I should have known and so sad that we did not get time to comfort him and prepare more. We had our last lab put down and that too was very difficult but at least we had time to all say our goodbyes. I am really struggling and did not think this would be as hard, the house feels so empty again, 
Russ
Russ
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Lis84
Sorry to hear, it is honestly the worst feeling. Let yourself feel all the sad feels, talk to your wife about the good times. You've been down this road before and there is light at the end but for now it's normal to feel how you are. My 8 year old has suddenly had a suspected mini stroke and deteriorating every day. Breaks my heart thinking about what's next. I've spent most of today a blubbering mess just thinking about our good times. Hope you feel better tonight. 
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Frank68
Thank you for your kind words. I feel for you on the pain of seeing your dog deteriorate in health as it hurts so much, give them lots of love, hugs and smiles. Even before his last breath our lab wagged his tail when we were close to him, we were amazed at this as it showed he knew our love him. 
Russ
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Lis84
They know and feel more than we can comprehend. 
I have him on the bed  with us tonight. I'll try and stop being sad until I really need to be sad haha.
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Frank68
Sadness is definitely an emotion we all feel when our pets are ill. But like you say, thinking of the good times they have given us really does help. We are writing all these good memories down and having a good laugh when we are remembering the real funny ones. 
My thoughts go out for you and your family in what must be a very distressing time for you all.
Russ
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Runningman66
Thoughts and condolences.My choc lab was put to sleep nearly 6wks ago aged 9 + half and the grief even now is unbearable.As I’m writing this I’m having to wipe my tears as I’m sure if you’ve read my posts I’m in a very dark place with even darker thoughts as life without him right now is just pure hell.I can’t give you any advice as I’m the last person who should give it you.

Love Runningman x
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Frank68
I really feel for you and I really do understand the pain you must be going through. I read a really good blog by a guy called Adam Clark in the psychologytoday website, purely by chance just searching google. It’s titled tragic, sudden, unexpected grieving for traumatic pet loss. I would recommend it. Let me know if you can’t locate and I can send you a link. 
Like you I am trying not to blame myself but the guilt is unbearable at times. Having gone through this with our last dog though I know you come through it, and with great memories. We found helpful to focus on how we could remember him, a plaque in his special place in the garden, a box where you can always go remember them and we are all writing down our fondest memories to go inside the box for those times when the bad thoughts come. 
Russ
Russ
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Runningman66
Thanks I will try to locate that blog when it’s bedtime.I gave away all of my dogs unopened dog food and treats today to a customer of mine who by the strangest of coincidences has a lovely 11yr old choc lab what he brings to work everyday.Safe to say that had me in tears.Since I lost Coco I must have spent £150 - £200 on pet mementos on a fantastic app called Etsy but these are now stored away until I can bear to put them on display which with me will be quite some time yet.Like you I have a lot of guilt mainly why I didn’t spot his heart disease earlier,was this the caused by me letting him lick my dinner plate and giving him food that he shouldn’t have but the main one was I think he suffered greatly in his last months and for that I wish I could say sorry to him now if he did.Life without my boy right now is truly awful,empty and lonely and this I feel is what is giving me dark thoughts what I’m trying so hard to block out of my head.

Love Runningman xx

Love Runningman 
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Frank68
Time is a great healer and although we will never forget our 4 legged friends we will learn how to live with it better. It is great to talk as people are doing on this forum, I find it a great help. Thanks Runningman, sharing your story has helped me and I hope we can help you also. 
Russ
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Frank68
This forum has already helped me so thanks to all who share and respond. but as others have are are still struggling with sleeping in the night. I am and end up getting out of bed early but this is equally hard as I was always first to see Ron in the morning. Does anyone have any ideas on how to distract the horrible silence when you enter the room they slept. And that it breaks the routine. I am finding myself opening the door and just standing outside and crying. Maybe the radio or a picture of them might help?
Russ
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LaurenceReno
Russ:   I know exactly what kind of sadness and emptiness you feel at the death of your beloved pet. 
When I had to have my dog Charly euthanized on April 30 it was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. 
There was no choice, since he had incurable cancer, and I did the right thing by having him put down to end his suffering.
I feel so guilty because I did not stay with him when he was put to sleep.  The vet asked me if I wanted to be with him, but I could not bear to stand there and watch him die. 
Yes, now the house seems so silent and empty, as if a child has departed. 
My aching sadness still hurts, even though he has been dead over a month now. 
Laurence
Laurence
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Frank68
Thanks for sharing Laurence, it’s so difficult when it comes to decisions as you had because we never want to think they will ever have to be made. All I can say is that the pain eases, as does the guilt.  When our first dog was put down I found it helpful to put in place some memorable items, for example we put a plaque on our garden bench. It read simply. A place to rest and remember our great friend Jake .... whenever I sit there I smile, remember the good times of him running round and getting up to mischief. We are doing the same with Ron who we lost we recently, it helps focus on their life when it was good and they were living their life to the full. I also have a painting that my wife had done from a photo by our back door. I just catch a glimpse as I go out some times and smile. 
My thoughts are with you and I do hope it gets a little easier over the coming months. 
Russ
Russ
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Frank68
We also did a collage of photos in an A2 frame in the early days and hung it in the kitchen, this seemed to help also.
Russ
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