Sidra42
My beloved cat is dead and I'm just wondering if it really was a tumor that killed him? I'm feeling grief and guilt for allowing him to get so skinny and lose muscle over the course of 2014 without having him checked for cancer. I feel like I just let him die.


My cat Severus had been sick for years. He had been diagnosed with a grade 2 heart murmur and his vet at the time put him on 1/4 of an 81 mg aspirin every 3 days to prevent blood clots as well as atenolol.
Around 7/20/11 I noticed Severus was losing weight. He used to be a boulder at 18 pounds but dropped to 13.
The vet did many tests checking his thyroid and kidneys but discovered nothing wrong. He did have urine crystals but never had a blockage.
He passed out at least 2 times and I rushed him to an emergency vet but after 300 dollars they couldn't find out what caused it.
Late November 2013 I was set to move states. My vet wanted to check Severus for possible cancer but since I was moving I needed to keep my savings in case I needed it for rent. So I couldn't afford the 600.00 for another X-ray and echocardiogram like they did to discover his heart murmur.
When I moved I was out of work for 6 months so I ate through my savings for rent and other bills.
Sometime during 2014 Severus lost all his muscle. He was skin and bones and maintained a 9 to 10 pound weight. Though he still ate and moved well.
I took him to different vets that tested him from everything from cat scratch fever to thyroid problems and diabetes everything always came back negative. I did find out something was going on with his white blood cells and he was low on potassium.
I hadn't been giving him his atenolol for his heart as I thought he was doing ok without it but he still got his baby aspirin. Now I wonder if the atenolol would have helped save his life?
He started crapping beside his litter box and his black fur faded to light brown in some spots. The vet I saw told me it was simply old age and stress. Another vet thought he'd developed kidney problems?
On February 6 2015 I came home and as was my habit checked for him to be sure he was alright. I found him lying in the kitchen open mouth breathing. At first I thought I could nurse him through this myself but finally took him to the vets on the 10th. I was worried I wouldn't have the money for X-rays but it turned out they only charged around 150 or 160.
This made me feel bad because I could have afforded this so I could have had him checked earlier and possibly saved his life.
I was to busy spending my money on stupid stuff when I should have saved up to get Severus tested.
They discovered his lungs had so much fluid in them that they couldn't see his heart. On February 11 I had them drain his lungs. I was so hoping he would recover but on the 17 I had to return to the vets to have them drain his lungs again. That's when I was told he was now only 6 pounds and that the fluid they drained was bloody. He spent all day at the vets waiting for them to do the procedure. When I got to the vets to pick him up at 4 The receptionist told me they had only managed to drain one lung. They were attempting the other but he was not happy.
I never got to see him alive again he was just 13 years old. I wanted him to make it to 18. He passed around 5:15 during the procedure without me with him.
The vet thought he had a tumor on his heart or lungs but I'll never know for sure.
I just feel like I could have done more for him. I never found out what exactly caused his muscle loss so quickly. What if whatever he had was treatable?All I did was treat the symptoms. For example when he was constantly throwing up I took him to the vets for cerenia to help with nausea.
That's like if you had stomach cancer and all the dr gave you was pepto bismol.
I also didn't recall him being so big when I first moved which means his muscle loss happened in 2014. How could I have forgotten when this should have motivated me to figure out exactly what was wrong. Why didn't I have him checked for cancer it was obvious he was sick. I feel like even though I loved him I let him down.
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coinlineukssss
took him to the vets for cerenia to help with nausea
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silvermini3
A late response, but just read this. You did the best you could and knew how with what you were given at the time. We all do. I hope you are on your way to healing. 
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winstonsmom12
Sidra  I understand exactly what you are feeling.  I am on Disability, I didn't have the money for a lot of testing on my Winston.  All I saw was his constant cough, his limp and his misery.  You did a lot for your baby.  Don't let the horrible guilt we all feel interfere with that.  I wish I could have done more for my Winston, but i couldn't.

I know I made the right decision.  I think he had a lot more serious problems than I thought.  It was obvious your Severus had life threatining problems.  Of course you didn't want to see him suffer.  Prayers   Sue
Susan
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CK1991
Hi Sidra42,
I am so sorry for your loss. To me, it sounds like you did so much for your Severus but we tend to blame ourselves for anything we may not have done due to the grief we are feeling. It may have been a blessing in disguise that you didn't learn earlier that he had cancer. Would you really want to put him through chemo and other painful procedures when instead he had a good quality of life with you and was able to spend his last few years in happiness. I know we always think there is more we could have done but it sounds like this was not going to go away easily - esp if it was a tumor on his heart or lungs.
Be kind to yourself during this difficult time!
Hugs to you!
CK
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