rachmichelle47
Fellow pet moms and dads,

Hi. I'm very glad to have found this forum full of kindred souls. I lost my dog - an 11.5-year-old puggle, Perry - yesterday very suddenly and am simply wracked with grief.

The vet's best guess is that he had a sudden blood clot that led to internal bleeding. He went from energetic and happy and very healthy to gone in the span of two hours. I can't help but feel not only sadness but trauma at the panic during the sudden situation and the lack of a real goodbye. We lived in four countries together and, as a single person, Perry was my true companion in everything.

Just wanted a place to briefly vent this grief. My heart goes out to everyone experiencing the pain of losing a family member.
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Buddy_Mama
Hi Rachmichelle... even though we’ve already “met” on my post, I wanted to say hello again on yours, and express that I’m so sorry about your Perry. What happened to him sounds very similar to what happened to my Buddy: sudden clot, internal bleeding, gone so quickly. I found out later, after his necropsy, that he had undetected heart disease and tracheal cancer, as well as mild asthma (the asthma was the only condition we knew about beforehand).

I know exactly what you mean about the feeling of trauma, due to the panic & distress and the lack of a real goodbye. The night we lost Buddy, and came home from the emergency vet hospital without him, I was in so much shock that I was hallucinating. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to literally losing my mind. Scary and awful.

I’m glad you found this place, and that you’re able to vent your grief here and feel less alone. We truly do understand, and can offer comfort & support. Sending you hugs...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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rachmichelle47

Cindy, thank you so much for reaching out. It helps to know that you understand through your grief for Buddy. I lost Perry’s older “sibling” a few years ago, and though it hurt equally as badly, there is a special trauma in this kind of sudden loss. I know what you mean about hallucinating - I was nearly hysterical last night and could barely breathe. 

Sending you all the warmest thoughts for you and your Buddy.

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JulieF
Rachmichelle - So sorry for the loss of Perry and the way it happened.  You are feeling it acutely because of how it happened and I feel for you.  My kitty Patch has been gone for two weeks - I had to put him down after 19 years together and I miss him every day.  The grief does become less acute, but I miss him every day and hope he is happy where he is and he remembers our good times we had together.  He was my special boy.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and everyone on this forum.  Bless you and hugs to you.
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The5ofus
Rachmichelle, I am so sorry for your loss.  Perry knows you loved him and it sounds like he had a wonderful life.
We, too, lost our 14 year old Pug unexpectedly over the weekend.  We took him in for a check up on Friday, and the vet
found a large mass on his spleen that was causing internal bleeding.  On Saturday, we had to put him to sleep.
I'm still in shock-it's hard to process and I feel so guilty.  It is so hard losing someone you loved so much unexpectedly.
Our Frank was our companion in everything, too.  Get as much support as you can and take care of yourself.
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rachmichelle47

Hi 5ofUs - I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Frank. (Which is such a fantastic name for a pug!) Being unprepared for the loss has added a whole new element to grief. Perry was such a healthy 11-year-old. No one could believe he was 11. I feel robbed of time together, as I’m sure you do, too.

You begin to realize how much they are woven into the fabric of our lives (and with pugs/puggles, they literally are - so many tan hairs everywhere!). I’ve caught myself today thinking I’ll need to time walks around the rain, or not to stretch my legs in bed too much because I don’t want to accidentally kick Perry. 

I hope you are able to find tiny slices of peace today. It’s so hard. 

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Alanfar
I am so sorry for your loss of Perry. Our sweet little Fancy passed so suddenly on April 16th from Evans Syndrome. Like Perry she was fine one day and then the next she was gone.  She was 11 also. We rescued her 5 years ago and she went from a tiny skinny little thing to a healthy loving girl in no time. She just oozed love and it is really hard now that she is gone. Finding this support here as been very helpful to deal with the sudden loss. It is healing to speak to others that know how you feel. You were a good mom for Perry and he loved you so much. He will be with you in spirit and your heart forever.
alan farlowe
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curt
Your little buddy is now running and playing in a meadow of green grass with other pets that have crossed the plane. He will be waiting for you when your time comes and he will be so excited and happy to be reunited.  
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rachmichelle47
Thank you, Alanfar and Curt. And I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Fancy. My heart feels physically torn from the sudden loss. Sending warm and healing thoughts your way. 
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The5ofus
Pugs/puggles are such a special breed-they are such lovable, personable, funny dogs.  They really are the perfect dog and really take your heart.
We've got the tan hairs everywhere, too, LOL-ours would sit under my office chair as I worked from home.  I really miss that.
I'm also missing him on trips to the kitchen-he was always right there too, as food was his big love.  Going on walks, everything, is just going to be so different.  The shock is wearing off a bit, good memories are starting to take over a little more.  I hope you find peace and comfort in the good memories.
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Mdmoore
My heart goes out to you.  It sounds like Perry was most important to you and my baby girl (chocolate lab) Ruby meant a everything to me too.  I lost her very suddenly too and I can relate to your grief .  I don’t know what’s worse, having time to say goodbye but watching them go through a lot or having to let them go so suddenly.  I walked into the Vets hospital with her and walked out without her.  I haven’t cried so much in a long time.  Perry looks adorable and I know the emptiness will be there.  I wish I could say it all gets better, but for me that’s not the case as far.  I’m here for you if you just need to get anything out.  What helps a little for me is to know that I’m not alone.  
M Moore
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rachmichelle47
Hi, M Moore - thanks so much for your post. I am incredibly sorry to hear about Ruby. Perry's older "sister" was a lab, too. I thought losing her in 2016 was the worst it could get, but this is just as bad, plus the extra element of suddenness. There is no good way whatsoever to lose a dog, but with my lab, she was 14 and we found out she had aggressive cancer and it was an immediate recommendation to put her to sleep. It was horrible and gut-wrenching, but she did not suffer and we also we had a chance to take her to the park and speak to her and say goodbye. This was just...the rug being ripped out within two hours. My world feels turned upside down. I agree it helps so much to know we aren't alone. I am sure Ruby felt every bit as adored as Perry did. My only comfort is feeling confident he did know he was loved. I petted and kissed him and told him about 3,836 times a day, haha 🙂 My heart goes out to you and I am here anytime you need to chat.
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Monroegirl
So very sorry for your loss of Perry. They are so very special to us. I lost my kitty, Monroe, two weeks ago. She was with me for half of my life, and I miss her so. Take care.
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rachmichelle47
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about Monroe. Pets often stay with us through so many life changes as a loving constant. I’m thinking of you. 
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Pecan_mom
I’m sorry for your loss.  My beloved dog Pecan passed away suddenly just over a month ago.  I feel your pain.  She was happy all day with no previous health issues.  I know what your going through.  Please be kind to yourself.  We are all here for you. 
Sp
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