I had to put the love of my life to sleep yesterday. Tinkerbell was such a pretty girl with lots of charm. She was my baby and the love of my life. She was 14 yrs old. Kinda knew it was coming soon and I was preparing for it. What I wasn't prepared for was how I let it happen. My daughter got married last Thursday in the Dominican Republic. We had to board Tinker so we did a couple practice runs for a couple hours to get her comfortable with them. While we were on our way home on Saturday I got a call from my vet. Boarding facility had taken her in, she was having seizures. I made it very clear that I did NOT want her to suffer and gave permission to put her down if needed. They stabilized her and we sent her to our after hours emergency clinic so she could be watched over the weekend. When I got back to town I called tthe emergency clinic and they encouraged me not to visit because it could stimulate her too much and cause a seizure and she was ok at that time. I should have visited and put her down at this time and I definitely wanted to be present. I called periodically to check and it wasn't good news but not horrible. I just wanted my long time vet to help me send her to the rainbow bridge. They sent her back to my vet Monday morning and she had had multiple seizures over night and a big one on the way to the vet. We rushed up there and she was awake but non responsive to her surroundings and couldn't get up. She didn't even know we were there with her. So my baby's last memory is I dropped her off and didn't come back and she ended up suffering when I made the awful decision not to go to the emergency clinic. I am broken in a million pieces. My precious Tinker deserved better than what I gave. That was my precious baby of all times. I so loved her!! How do I get over this??
Kecia Welch
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I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I had to say goodbye to my precious Angel puppy Satin Marie June 1, 2017. She had gone through so much-surgeries in 2015 to remove the tumors (they came back), radiation, chemo, pills since February 2017. She enjoyed the truck rides to the clinic though, that much I do know.

By May of 2017 she started to get a little sick, then got better, then things went bad around May 24th. I knew it was time, she was losing her fight and it was killing me to see her like that. I called her vet around the 30th of May, to have them see if there was anything more to be done but to finally end her pain and suffering. By the next day, May 31st, I took her to her first and what would be her only trip to the puppy day spa. The people there stopped what they were doing and spoiled her with the love and attention she so richly deserved. She had a couple of cheeseburgers on the way home. I had picked up my brother to help me start getting her final resting place ready in our back yard because I knew this was what was coming. By 11;20 the evening of May 31, 2017 my wife and I decided it was time, she was in too much pain and she was really bloated.

I took her to the local Animal ER and the doctor there told me what I already knew. I told her it was time, and even though I was with her the entire time, she was so sedated I am not sure she knew I was there but I think she knew somewhat. I carried her into our home 11 years ago as a puppy and that early morning of June 1, 2017, I carried her into our house, her home, for the last time. It's been 4 weeks today since we made that last ride together and it isn't getting any easier each day.

I've had to say goodbye to three other fur babies but Satin Marie was so much different, so much more special. I was fortunate to be there for her through all of the crap she had to endure and she got through it like a trooper but in the end, the Mast Cell Tumors got the best of her.

I cannot fathom the pain and suffering you are feeling about your Tinker but please know you are not alone and that some part of her knew you were there, believe that please. I am crying as I try and type this, not just for my Satin Marie but for you and your Tinker and all the other babies and their families that have had to say goodbye. Why? Why do we have them for such a short time, since no amount of time would ever be long enough, only to have them taken from us? I'll never understand and I still have guilt over would have, should have, could have crap all the time. I guess that is my penance for having fallen in love with Satin Marie.

My prayers and thoughts are with you. Just know that every little breeze on your face is Tinker sending you kisses. I truly believe that about our four legged loved ones, they come to us every now and then to check on us, even if on a breeze.  I just miss her so much as I know you miss your Tinker. here is a photo of my Satin Marie at the puppy spa. I really like this last picture of her.

Satin day spa.jpg 
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