I still cannot believe you are gone. WHAT does it take to move beyond "denial"? I AM SO WORN OUT FROM CRYING. I have not left the house but once..I am only eating once a day. If it was not for this place..I do not know if I would still be here....I know about the 4 stages of grief. I never had the
anger part..just a double dose of sadness. Raven I know you would not want me to be this way..but I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO...If you can hear me
Ray..please help.

(Has anyone had experience with a "grief conselor"?)
Rest In Peace~ Raven 1992-2011
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RavensLove, I didn't talk to a grief counselor but I would have if I had known of one.  I certainly think you should consider talking to someone in that area if that is an option for you.  When you log in to this site, there is also information regarding one-on-one grief support.   I will say that at 2 weeks, there is a lot more grieving to come.  What concerns me is that you are not leaving the house and you are barely eating.   Are you alone?  Do you have anyone to talk to?  Yes, crying is normal and, although the amount of crying diminishes, it continues for a long time for most of us.   Being sad is normal but most of us are forced to proceed on with life in some kind of way.    We have all struggled from this great loss but I sense from your post that you are even concerned about yourself.  I sincerely encourage you to talk to a grief counselor if possible.  If you can't do that, please talk to someone from this site (see Home page).  My heart goes out to you.  I know it feels so devastating.  Please come to this site and talk to us here as well.  People here understand the pain and the sadness.  I'll be praying for you, RavensLove.

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I want you to know that my next black kitty will be named Raven.  That is such a beautiful name.  You inspired me.  I am so sad for your loss. I just know in my heart that our pets would not want us to be devastated like this.  Remember how they always tried to make us happy and cheer us up when we are down?  Well, your Raven's spirit is still with you and wants you to be o.k.  Try to focus on all the love you had. There are grief counselors that specialize in pet loss.  We have a support group in our area through the emergency pet hospital that I've heard is very good.  Check with your vet because they would know.  Remember, Raven loves you and wants you to be happy and healthy.  Let us know how you are doing.  Thinking  of you a lot and sending love for a gentle mourning period.

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I really understand you! I lost my Wads and my life has changed! I am angry, so sad, I cry everyday, but it starting to get a little better, I lost my angel boy in October and so I can tell you I am still dealing with a lot of feelings. I can tell you that it is starting to ease ever so slightly. I guess only time can help us learn to heal. I know, to me, it was the loss of a child! Time and the support from others. I feel your grief and my heart and hand reaches to you. I read these posts and cry, but I know I am not alone in my feelings.

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We have a grief-share class in my town at a local church.  I almost attended some classes there but I didn't.  My sister-in-law attended classes there after she lost her husband.  She helped me with my grief over my Tootie as well as wonderful, caring people on this forum.

I know your pain, RavensLove.  I'm so sorry you're hurting so terribly.  I wish I could take the pain away for you.  I've been there and it is an excruciating pain.  I'm so sorry.  My heart goes out to you!


Tootie ~ Sep. 1, 2000 - Sep. 4, 2010
Shine on you beautiful diamond!
Blueboy ~ Feb. 14, 1989 - Dec. 31, 1993
Always in my heart!
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Ravenslove. I talk to a grief counselor and it has really helped me. sometimes when it was new I just hollered out my pain and agony.
Every one's grief process is so different. I never had the anger until about 3 months, and I have only recently being going through guilt of things at this 5 month stage.
But having said that, it does get better. when the pain is that intense, I really would recommend finding someone to help you. Being here was my saving grace, and also the counselor as well.
I'm so sorry for your pain.  Judy
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First, let me THANK everone for your prayers & thoughts. I did call a grief
support hotline that is run by IAMS PETFOOD. (Sorry I do not have the number with me now..it is upstairs. But you can find it by searching.) I talked to a woman about 45 mins. She repeated alot of what you wonderful people have been saying. Especially the 2 weeks part being SO soon..and NOT to expect the pain & anguish to go away ...just yet..(I know it will always be with me to a certain extent) I also appreciate the advice regarding my health. I have a disability..and that makes it hard to go out..even before Raven left.  I, like most everyone, have bad & slightly better days. I DO have a roomate..but his idea of grieving & mine do NOT agree. At times he bordered on being VERY verbally cruel. However I think now that this was because he has a cat that is very close to Ravens age. He could not/ did not want to face the fact that someday it will be him in my place. I am not making excuses for his behavior...just trying to understand somewhat.
 THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! Just knowing that this place is here is such
a comfort for me. Love and Hugs..."RavensLove"

PS. Cookies8~~ Thank You for posting that you will name your next black cat "Raven". I know he will be as pleased as I am!
Rest In Peace~ Raven 1992-2011
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Hi Ravenslove, I think it is really wonderful that you called the grief support hotline. That shows a lot of strength on your part. It also sounds like it was very helpful to you. We are also here for you. You are among friends and people that understand as best as anyone can.

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever." ~ The Crow

"We don't "get over" our losses and just move on, we learn to live differently."
~ http://www.angelbluemist.com/frames/guilt.html
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