fonziesmom
It's been two very long weeks without you, my guy. It's a strange thing, counting days and weeks that you are not here. Now that it's weeks and not just days...I don't know. Not as gut wrenching constantly but almost more so because I'm forced to realize life does go on and I can't stop it. I liked it better when it was days because that means you are closer to me. The farther you get...I get scared and panic. Will I forget that growl how you would talk to me that I held so dear? Will I have to struggle to remember how it felt to have your head on my lap, your curls between my fingers? How when you wanted your belly rubbed you would roll on your back and wave your paw at me? Will I be able to remember that without flashing back to that last horrible day?!
Your ashes came back home yesterday. Dr Tracee ordered an nice urn and a clay stone paw print of yours. That was a nice surprise. When I told her I wanted you cremated, she said she'd take care of everything. I didnt know there were options and such. So glad she did that for you.
When she told me your ashes had returned to the clinic, the world stopped and it was like you had just died all over again. Your Dad went with me to pick them...Tracee wanted to bring them to us but I didn't want to wait. I am so glad to have you home. I don't know yet what we will do with them...for now, I hug the urn and talk to you when no one is around. The paw print stone is awesome...but I can see tiny Fonzie hairs on it and I had the horrifying realization they must have shaved your gorgeous hair before cremating you. I hope I'm wrong.
Bessie is so weird now that you're gone. I can't figure her out. She is by me all the time now. Wants to be on the couch. Lying wherever I am on the wood. Weird bc that is how she was before you came into our lives but then she let you take over. And she's everywhere again and I just want you. I do feel bad for her and love her...but I miss you so darn much.
I do okay most of the time now...but when I think of you I lose it. Today was a hard day. Knowing it's been two weeks and now having your ashes...I don't know what to do with myself.
I have so very much to do in the next couple weeks before the baby comes. It is all a good distraction because I'm busy...but so overwhelming too. I just want to sit and feel sad and think about you. Instead I'm way behind in work and everytime I try to catch up or schedule an appointment, I remind myself that last time I went to visit that person, you were alive and well! And then I lose it. So many things I think, this is the first time I'm doing this without Fonzie. Too many things. I'm so sad you won't meet this baby. I'm so sad and so sorry about everything.
Two weeks. Too long.
I will love and miss you forever, My Fonzie Bear...
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hinhan0748
My heart breaks for your loss because I understand exactly how you feel. I lost my Shunka yesterday and wonder if I will ever again feel the same. I know that the time will heal this pain but never remove it entirely. We will begin to remember the things that made our little guys so incredibly special and we will smile when we think of them. I wish you peace as time moves on.

Shunka's Mom

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loft2111
Hi Fonzie's mom,
The feeling of grief and unrelenting sadness is awful isn't it? I lost my LM 5 week tomorrow.  The 2 week mark was hard for me and I understand what you are going through.  I also have a paw print of my Little Man and I love tracing it with my fingers and talking to him.  I don't think they shaved your Fonzie, they didn't shave my LM, I actually was there before he was cremated and he still had all of his fur.  It's nice to have the ashes with you, you will find some comfort in knowing that Fonzie is home again.  I read some books on pets and afterlife and they are drawn to their ashes, so don't be surprised if you start seeing some signs.  I bought a big Urn for LM's ashes and have placed his sympathy cards in there along with his collar that he was adopted in, pictures of us and farewell letters to him from me and my husband.  Hope you are taking care of yourself, I think Fonzie would want you to be the healthiest you can with the baby coming soon.  Take care and know your Fonzie is happy and healthy and will be watching over you family.
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MattiesMom10
Hi Fonzie's Mom,
I know how heartbroken you are. I lost my girl in August and her doctor made me paw prints as they do baby foot prints. When her dad picked up her ashes and brought them home it was like just loosing her all over again. A week or so passed and I received a card from her physician with 2 ink paw prints of her my heart just sank but, I am so happy he did that for me as he knew Mattie was my world and it had just shattered. I know my girl is with me in spirit and she is watching over me as your Fonzie is watching over you. Keeping you in my prayers as I do all the fur parents here looking for some kind of answers or comfort.

God Bless
(Hugs)
MattiesMom10
Forever a paw print on my heart
Susan Turner
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fonziesmom
Thanks so much for the replies and support. It's do beneficial. I know we are all going thru this together. I thank God for this forum everyday.
Thanks, Little Man's mom for letting me know they didn't shave him. That was a big relief. Silly that it bothered me so much, but it did.
As for the paw prints, he got sick so suddenly and so fast none of us were prepared. So it is nice to have. The inked prints sound fantastic; out stone is such a gift, but it cracked in the middle so I'm very careful with it.
Sending hugs to you all.
I will love and miss you forever, My Fonzie Bear...
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