BristolMum
I can't believe it has been two weeks already since our wonderful cat Tank was killed by a car. Two weeks without hearing his beautiful voice, two weeks without a cuddle in the evening on the sofa. 
I am still waking up feeling sick and panicky, breathless, lonely. Lonely even though I have a husband, a son and two foster children milling around me, plus two dogs and our surviving cat Austin.
Everyone is doing better than me. They all seem able to move on to some degree at least. I am still stuck in that moment when Tank came in through the back door, called out and then collapsed. I keep getting flashbacks. I don't want to remember him like that. In my dreams he is running and jumping and happy but as soon as I am awake, all I can see is that traumatic end.
Does anyone else on here have experience of a cat being hit by a car and then them suffering these flashbacks? It's unbearable at the moment, it's overwhelming everything else in my life, but I have to keep up the pretence of being OK for my family.
Any words of help would be amazing at the moment.
J W
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MrB1_
Jw - I, too, still feel the lonely feelings of anxiety and deep sorrow. You love your precious companion and are still in shock over the loss. I, too, feel my husband has moved on and I am left in a limbo of thoughts and memories flooding in that are too painful to bear about losing my cat of 13 years, Buster.

I don't know how to stop the feelings and I'm not sure we even can stop them by trying to stop them. I can't erase the image of my best friend on the vet's table looking at me at the end.

You are going through the grieving process and you are doing it in your own way. Try not to stuff the feelings away to keep up with anyone else who you feel is moving on. I use my space on this forum to talk about anything that comes to mind about Buster, my feelings, my memories. I cry and cry while I'm doing it but I feel like I'm going to implode if I don't release some of my sadness.

So, just keep talking about it here at the support forum, if you can, and know that everyone who reads your anguish feels it, understands it, and sends to you warmth and compassion.
Peace to you
Roberta
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patent123
Flashbacks happen to people who experience traumatic things.  I to had flashbacks although mine were from a different type of situation.  Best thing I can say is give it time.  Some peoples stop sooner some later.  What I did was find a way to cope.  For me it was getting my dog she helped me not have the anxiety/depression that often triggered my flashbacks sadly she is now the reason I am here now.  My suggestion continue to talk out your feelings whether on here or maybe in a journal.  Also find something that makes you happy.  Maybe if you have another pet at home spend some extra time with them or pick back up an old hobby. Sometimes I take a special treat to an animal shelter and find an animal that most reminds me of my dog I lost.  I give that treat to that dog and spend some special time with them.  Its not the same but its nice to make someone else happy while remembering your pet.  Maybe you can honor tank by making another cat a little happier by presenting them with one of his favorite toys or snacks.  Every person moves on and handles things different.  I hope you find something that works and helps you until then you always have the people on here to help you through it.
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bertha
I can't say that I've had that happen with a cat but my little 15 year old Yorkie, Molly, was run over on Sept. 2. I wish I could have had the last few seconds of her life to hold her as she passed on to the Rainbow Bridge. I don't feel like I'm ever going to get over her loss. It's been 3 weeks & it feels like it was only yesterday. At least your Tank knew where he wanted to spend his last earthly seconds...with you. I wish I could help you, had some comforting words, but this is all I have.  hope you feel better soon!
Molly's Mama
Molly's mama
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Kylea
It has been 3 months since my dog passed. I still cry once in a while when I have flashbacks. They happen quite often. I hope it will get easier with time. I have flashbacks from when my dad told me that Bailey didn't make it through the night. Her body lying on that table as I kiss her goodbye will be forever in my mind. I didn't get to tell her goodbye and it kills me every day. I know it isn't the same situation as your post but yes, I get flashbacks all the time. It mostly happens when I'm trying to go to sleep and can't calm my mind.

Just hang in there. I will keep you in my prayers. I do think it is apart of grieving.

Kylea
Kylea Barton
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BristolMum
Thank everyone, it means so much to hear from you all. 
I just had a call from the vet to say Tank's ashes are ready for pick up. Not what I wanted to hear. Without that little wooden box on the shelf I could, some of the time, pretend to myself he would be rolling over in the sunshine on the drive when I get home.

You all had great thoughts and advice, I will try and take some of it.

Thanks,

Jane
J W
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KrisO
I am sorry to hear about your loss.  
I too am still getting flashbacks.  I believe if you hear and see your pet in distress, it stays with you a lot more and longer than if you hadn't actually been there to see it.
That happened to me also.  I am not sure I will ever be able to get it out of my mind.
Since I have PTSD, what I saw and heard triggered an episode that required medication.

Over time, the memory may soften.  That is my hope.  It may not ever be forgotten but by understanding that your beloved pet is now at rest and not in pain may lessen your pain a little.

I lost my dog on 9/9/2014.  So I am in about the same time frame as you when it comes to grief.  Right now I am unable to see an end to the pain and guilt I feel. 
For both of us, I wish for the release of some of our pain and increase in comfort by seeing in our minds all the things that are most precious.  The joy and love our pet gave us and all the times it touched our hearts.

I'll be thinking of you while I struggle with my grief, knowing that someone else is struggling with the same issues. We can get through this, I know.  And see in our minds eye, our pets as they were, pain free.





Kris Olsen
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BristolMum
Hi Kris,

Thank you for your message, it really touched me. I am so sorry for the loss of your dog and the pain you are feeling. 
I know what you are saying makes sense - perfect sense, but I just can't kick this feeling that Tank is lost somewhere and doesn't understand where we are. I picture him endlessly calling for me and searching and it's agony, even though I know it isn't true. I guess it's just another level of grief, another way we torture ourselves. Part guilt - that I didn't or couldn't protect him from danger, part selfishness - me wanting him to be alive still.
I have to get myself together enough to pick up his ashes today, am dreading it. It will make it real at last. 

Thinking of you Kris, and hoping for a better day for both of us.

Jane x
J W
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Karen1121
Hello,

I'm very sorry for your loss. I know the pain you are going through. My 2 year old cat suddenly passed away in front of me Sunday night. I cannot get the images out of head. I wake up throughout the night and that's the first thing I see. I can understand how you are feeling. It hurts and nothing seems to make it better right now.

Karen
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BristolMum
Hi Karen,

I am so sorry to hear that, it must have been a terrible shock. The tiny bit of comfort I take from what happened to us is that Tank was able to get back to our house - so we knew what had happened. I can't imagine how awful it would have been if he had died on his own on the road and we hadn't found him. 

These are hard times but coming on here has been an amazing help. 

I am thinking of you, and hoping you have a better day soon.

Jane 
J W
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