Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 6 of 38     «   Prev   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   Next   »
MAlcindor

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 999
Reply with quote  #76 
Oh Jenny today has been just awful for me. I cannot believe that in a span of just 6 weeks my house has gone from being alive and happy with two vibrant happy loud dogs to depressing, I can't stand being home. I feel like I'm being punished for something. How can this be??? It's cruel. I'm sorry that happened to you, I'm sorry it happened to me, I'm sorry it has to happen at all. I've had a headache all day, can't get rid of it. I've cried all day and the tears just don't dry up. I went outside several times today to the front yard and I swear I felt Max sitting in his favorite spot. I wish I could see him just one last time. I miss him so much damn it! And poor Bailey, who I always protected because of his sad beginnings. He was so little but swore he was ten feel tall, and so feisty!  I just couldn't keep him safe in the end and he paid with his life. If only I could turn back time.

I really appreciate you sharing your story with me. It's as if I'm living it all over with you. What an awful thing to have to go through. Thank you for your kind words and know that your little "love nugget" Teddy has really captured my heart. I can see why you loved him so much and continue to do so. These little babies have such a way of grabbing our hearts and never letting go. I pray for us all. 

__________________
          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

0
JennyTeddy

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 641
Reply with quote  #77 
You’re welcome, I feel sharing stories can be comforting to one another because it helps us be able to relate and find comfort in knowing we aren’t crazy and others have acted the same way. Im sorry today has been awful 💔😞 I understand because it’s been the same. It really is cruel not having our babies with us anymore. It’s cruel living without them. Waking up every morning without seeing their sweet face. I wish our babies were protected from anything bad happening to them (illness or anything bad). Everything feels empty my life, bed house, it’s an awful feeling. Im sorry you’re experiencing the same pain 💔😞 it warms my heart that Teddy “love nugget” captures your heart. It makes him happy. I know it. Your babies have captured my heart as well. I hope you sleep well tonight and find comfort knowing your babies are with you even if you can’t see them. Hugs 💕
__________________
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

  
0
MAlcindor

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 999
Reply with quote  #78 
Max & Bailey, you are my first thought when I open my eyes in the morning. Missing you is all I do all day long every single day. I have to go shopping today and I have great anxiety just thinking of the car ride without the two of you. I saw your playpen this morning and I just broke down. Please help me get through today. I love you and miss you both so very much. 
__________________
          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

0
Rookiesmama

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 617
Reply with quote  #79 
Malcindor, I've been thinking of you today ❤ I hope you were able to get what you needed at the store and feel some peace today. I feel you completely with you about the car-my Rookie was constantly going between my house and my parents, and everytime i'm in the car, I look to his spot. I saw a monarch butterfly today and it gave me a bit of peace.... I'd like to think it was from my Rookie. Hugs to you and your sweet Max and Bailey💓
0
MAlcindor

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 999
Reply with quote  #80 
Thank you for thinking of me today Rookiesmama. It makes me so happy to know your Rookie is sending you signs of his presence, I love that. I was able to get what I needed in the store. I took a detour and visited the neighborhood of my last home where Max spent the first 4 years and Bailey the first 6 months of his life with us. I drove around to where we used to take our walks and the tot lot I used to take them to. My heart ached and I felt as if the grief would drown me, but for some reason I felt I needed to do that today. I'll be 53 in a couple of weeks and I've never felt such grief before in my life. I've had uncles, grandparents and other relatives pass away, but I have never been so consumed by grief. I received a Macy's sale flyer yesterday and even that brought me to tears. Max used to love for me to rub him with the perfume samples that come in the magazine, he was so goofy that way. Bailey ran from them but Max enjoyed his rub down so much. Little things every single day remind us of our babies.

Sending hugs your way too, and I hope Rookie continues to send you butterflies!

__________________
          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

0
MAlcindor

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 999
Reply with quote  #81 

My little angels, Max & Bailey, I would give everything I have to be able to go back in time and be with you again. I'd hold you and never let you go. I miss you both so much and think about you every single day. I love you and hope to see you in my dreams tonight. Take care of each other until I get to be with you again. Love, mommy.





DYNA PHONE PICTURES 0023 053.jpg


__________________
          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

0
Rookiesmama

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 617
Reply with quote  #82 
Malcindor, today I wanted to walk the trail Rookie and I used to walk but I got to the park and just couldn't. I've walked around the park since with a woman and her dog we used to see, but walking the actual trail is something entirely different. We were there 4-5x a week, and the change in routine is awful. I suppose I can try walking by myself, but I've always walked with a dog.... it seems almost silly to walk solo.

I love that Max and Bailey had such different personalities... waiting for the perfume is so cute!
0
MAlcindor

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 999
Reply with quote  #83 
❤️❤️ They were each so different, yet I loved them both the same, so deeply.

To walk that trail alone is going to hurt you deeply and you'd probably cry all along, but it might be healing. Take your time. It's like taking car rides down the street without my babies. It hurts my heart.

I wish you some good rest tonight.

__________________
          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

0
MAlcindor

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 999
Reply with quote  #84 
I feel so incredibly sad today my little monkeys, I miss you so much. I'm beginning to realize the sadness will never go away, the despair I feel will be with me for the rest of my life. If that is the price of having had you, I would do it all over again. I will see you again one day, wait for me. I will love you forever, mommy.


Maxi in the car.png  Bailey angel paws small.png


__________________
          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

0
Purzel

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 881
Reply with quote  #85 
Marlen,

Saw this wonderful pic you posted on Jenny's thread of yourself and your two angles.
[DYNA%20PHONE%20PICTURES%200023%20053]
So so lovely! And of course the ones you just posted.
Thought of you today and wanted to send fresh hugs your way


__________________
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


0
MAlcindor

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 999
Reply with quote  #86 
Thank you Silvia. I miss them so so much. Thanks for the hugs, I need them today. Actually every day. I hope we all can get some rest tonight.
__________________
          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

0
JennyTeddy

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 641
Reply with quote  #87 
My heart breaks for you 💔 the photos of your babies Max & Bailey melt my heart, they are so adorable. 💕 I know today is hard for you 😢 To me everyday gets harder without Teddy. Sending you many hugs and comfort. I hope you sleep well tonight. You’re in my thoughts 💛
__________________
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

  
0
MAlcindor

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 999
Reply with quote  #88 
Thank you Jenny, I know how hard it is to get through each day, our minds and hearts are with our babies all the time.

Today I feel like a zombie. I sleep yet somehow I don't rest and the sadness just takes over on the drive to work and sticks around until I go to sleep. 

Against my better judgement I visited a local shelter Sunday. I just needed to see and hear dogs. Instant heartbreak as soon as I stepped inside. So many beautiful souls all alone. I saw the cutest Maltese puppy (Benji) who I found out had just been returned by an older couple because he bit them 3 times in one day. I felt so bad for him. The gentleman caring for the smaller puppies asked me if I had other pets at home and I told him I have a kitty. He asked me what about dogs, I just broke down. He apologized and didn't know what to do. I regained my composure and asked if Benji was good with cats but he did not know and it was almost closing time so I told him I would return on Tuesday. I went back yesterday so they could cat test the poor baby but I was told he does not do well with cats or men. It broke my heart. They have a Shih Tzu girl, Felicity, that's waiting to be spayed, she only weighs 5 lbs and they say she's 5 yrs old. She was just sitting on a cot all alone looking so sad and so tiny. I don't know why I'm sharing all this with you guys, and I don't know if I'm ready to have another puppy just yet. Maybe I'm just visiting the shelter as a distraction? Maybe I'm hoping to fall in love with one of them? I just don't know why I do things sometimes. All I know is that I wish I could have my old life back with my Max and Bailey.





__________________
          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

0
Rookiesmama

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 617
Reply with quote  #89 
Malcindor, thank you for sharing, please never question/worry about sharing! Visiting shelters is always a difficult thing. For the last three years I've been a dog walker for my local shelter, and I know I can't stop now. My Rookie came from that shelter, and there was someone to walk him when he was in "doggie jail. " I'm not really looking forward to going back next month, but I know I will feel happy having brightened the life of the few i'm able to walk. I'm definitely not ready to get another dog-I had a friend tell me today it'll help the healing process- but I know myself. I need more time to grieve my Rookie. I hope whatever you decide it gives you some peace. Thinking of you, Bailey, and Max tonight❤
0
JennyTeddy

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 641
Reply with quote  #90 
Malcindor 💛

Thankyou for sharing 💕 Like Rookies Mama said, Please don’t ever worry about sharing. I like reading your post on your thread.

I would of done the same thing at the shelter. I would of broke down into waterfall tears and start crying. I can’t even go to a shelter or anything with dogs especially little dogs because my heart just shatters and I’m an emotional wreck, I just am a huge fricken cry baby. I see a dog walking and I’m like “😭oh my god so cute.” People probably think something is wrong with me, well there is.

yeah I thought I would be able to volunteer at the animal shelter. NOPE! Wrong! I just cry. I mean even when I had Teddy and I’d be sitting in the lobby at the Vet with Teddy either taking him to an appointment or picking up his medications or picking him up and I’d see people bring in their puppers (dogs) and they wouldn’t be doing well and I’d start crying to myself in the corner. I could never be a vet. Because even though I know I would make a great vet, I would be crying all day long. I wouldn’t be able to be strong for the owners. So the point being of my rambling is I totally understand how sensitive and heart broken you’re feeling.

I know one day I’ll want another fur baby. But I honestly don’t know when. All I know is I’m definitely not ready. All I want is Teddy.

Sending you great big hugs 💛 don’t ever hesitate sharing!

__________________
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

  
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.