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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #61 
Melissa, I know how much you are struggling today. I appreciate you taking the time out to write on this thread. Looking at pictures makes me smile and then I remember I will never again feel the joy I felt at the moment a particular picture was taken. I printed a bunch of them and will be starting a scrap book for both Bailey and Max. I think I'll go shopping this weekend for the shadow boxes I want so I can display their little things. I really need to get all their things together and figure out where in the house they need to be so that I feel them close to me. I hope you are able to find moments of peace today.
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          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #62 
Max, 44 days since I last looked into your beautiful puppy dog eyes and Bailey, 14 days since I last held you. I miss you both so much and I hope you find a way to come to me in my dreams tonight, I would love that so much. I think about you all the time and wish we could have had more time together to make more beautiful memories. Your time with me was so short and there was so much more I wanted to show you. While you were with me I gave you all my love and I know you both did the same for me. I could always tell how much you loved me from the way you looked at me. Steven would always tell me, "mommy, look at them, they love you so much." Good night my little darlings, I hope to see you in my dreams. I will love you forever.
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          Marlen
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https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
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asanroja

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Reply with quote  #63 
You’re not alone I too loss two babies and is so hard not to cry. Here are both Bella was the Shih Tzu and patches was a Pom both left me in a lot of pain. Are they so beautiful?

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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #64 
Oh my goodness, my heart just melted, what beautiful little babies! I am so sorry for your losses. Yes, the tears come every single day and I know the terrible pain all too well. Every day is a struggle but it helps to hear from others like you. 
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          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

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asanroja

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Reply with quote  #65 
Reading what people have gone through has helped me greatly. I’m so thankful for this forum or else I would have ended taking medication for depression. When I lost patch I lost my mind and soul, but when I lost Bella I don’t know how I survived. The pain and the struggle is real. I feel your pain. You have a lot love for fur babies.
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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #66 
I know what you mean. Posting here and reading everyones stories has helped me tremendously too. It sucks that we have to go through this, but that is the price of loving our babies so much and although at times it feels unbearable, I would not trade having my babies for the short time I did for anything in the world. I loved having them and would do it all over again. 
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          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

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Rookiesmama

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Reply with quote  #67 
Malcindor, your final comment about loving them and doing it all over again reminded me of this Dr. Seuss quote I have as the screensaver for my phone, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." I have to keep this right where I can see it because the pain of losing my Rookie is so deep right now - but I wouldn't change all of the amazing times we had. I just don't know how 7 years passed so quickly, and i'm mad that's all we got.
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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #68 
💔💔💔 It's what hurts the most. I only got 8 years with my Max and a mere 4 with my beautiful Bailey. Just not fair. I honestly thought I had at least 4 more with Maxi and 5 or 6 more with Bailey. But all that is out of our control. I honestly feel cheated, picked on and the cruelty of Bailey's death is something I struggle with.
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          Marlen
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https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #69 
Quote:
Originally Posted by asanroja
You’re not alone I too loss two babies and is so hard not to cry. Here are both Bella was the Shih Tzu and patches was a Pom both left me in a lot of pain. Are they so beautiful?


You’re babies are so adorable and precious 💕 my heart melted. My heart aches for you, I’m deeply sorry for he loss of both of your babies. It’s incredibly painful and hard. I lost Teddy May 6,2018. It’s so hard, it’s been almost 3 months and it still feels like the first day I lost him. 💔 my heart goes out to you, sending you big hugs, comfort thoughts and prayers. 💛

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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #70 
Today is the 7th Saturday without my Max but just the second without my Bailey and completely dog-less. Saturdays and Sundays were so special with my two boys. They loved weekend mornings so much because they knew it was the days we would spend the morning together on the couch. I would catch up on a tv show or two while they napped at my feet. They used to get so excited just to spend time with me. They both asked so little of me, just my attention. I miss them so much and my heart is in pieces today. I have my cat Luna, but she could care less if I'm home or not. I love her so much but she's such a cat! 

I hope we all somehow find some peace today.

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          Marlen
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https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #71 
Aww I understand completely. My Boo was the same way. When he would realize that I wasn't going to work, he would get so excited. We too would get up early and sit in the recliner just me and him . It's so hard without him. Weekends are the hardest.

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Rookiesmama

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Reply with quote  #72 
I agree. It's 9a where I am in California and my mind immediately wandered- due to hot weather, we'd be back from our walk and would be eating breakfast. I would be trying to decide if I should be lazy and nap like Rookie or hit the gym (laziness and cuddles usually won out!) Later in the afternoon Rookie would be "recharged, " and we'd play fetch. I hate the change in my routine!!!! I have errands in a bit, which will keep me occupied for a few hours, but i'm no longer really happy to have free time to just lounge on the couch. I'm relieved i'm not the only person who feels this way. Tomorrow will be a bit easier and it's church and visiting my Mom. Day by day I guess. Thinking of you all on this long Saturday.
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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #73 

For Max and Bailey:

I only wanted you

They say memories are golden well maybe that is true. I never wanted memories, I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you, a million times I cried. If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died. 

In life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place, no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway, and heartache make a lane, I’d walk the path to heaven, and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same. But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Author unknown


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          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #74 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MAlcindor

For Max and Bailey:

I only wanted you

They say memories are golden well maybe that is true. I never wanted memories, I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you, a million times I cried. If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died. 

In life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place, no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway, and heartache make a lane, I’d walk the path to heaven, and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same. But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Author unknown



MAlcindor,

I love the beautiful poem for your babies Max & Bailey 🐶💙🐶 The poem expresses perfectly how my heart feels without Teddy. I am going to save this 💕 hugs

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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #75 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MAlcindor
On June 1, 2018 I got home from work to find my Shih Tzu Max running to me down the driveway limping not being able to use one of his hind legs. I brought him in the house, put him on the couch and noticed he couldn't keep his eyes open. In a panic I began searching for 24 pet emergency clinics. Max is the first dog I ever owned and never once in his 8 years did I need to take him to an emergency clinic so I was clueless. My husband and I scooped him up and headed with Max and our other dog Bailey to the emergency vet clinic in Kendall. they performed a physical, gave me pain medication and told me to take him to his vet on Monday. To make a long story short, visits to an ophthalmologist, his vet, another animal hospital, and endless medications, Max never got better. I came home on June 13 to find Max labor breathing and looking not like himself. My husband and I rushed him to another emergency vet clinic. On the way there I could look  at Max and know he was not going to make it. My heart was breaking and panic started to set in. The dreaded moment I refused to even consider was obviously inevitable and I though I would lose my mind. On the way to the clinic Max wanted to stick his head out the car window and I held him up so he could feel the breeze on his face one last time. My spirit died on the way to that hospital. At 8:30 Max passed away. My first ever fur baby was gone and I did not know how to deal with it. The night Max died I got home and I did not even know how to deal with Bailey (who found us as a stray in April 2014), as Max had always been there as his big brother. 

Guilt riddled me for weeks, what if I had taken him to the vet earlier? How could I not know he was sick? What kind of a mother was I not to know my baby may have been suffering? I couldn't bear the guilt. I looked to Bailey for comfort and I promised to be the best mom to Bailey that I could ever be. Since the house felt so empty without Max on the weekends I began taking Bailey on outings to the beach, car rides. I basically took him everywhere with me, even shopping.

On July 12 when I got home from work it was raining so I couldn't immediately take Bailey out for his walk. Once the rain stopped I put the leash on him and headed outside. I should have looked out my blinds before going out and maybe I would have seen the other dog outside. As soon as I went down the front steps of my house the Rottweiler I had not seen came around the corner, I tried to pull Bailey up into my arms but the dog was quicker than me. He had Bailey in his mouth and I thought I would go insane hearing Bailey's cries. I punched, kicked, screamed as I never though I could scream and finally he let Bailey go. I ran inside screaming like a lunatic my mind racing 500 mph. I grabbed kitchen towels, wrapped them around Bailey, grabbed my keys, my phone, bag and ran outside. I was home alone and couldn't drive because I was trying to keep pressure on Bailey's wounds. Thank God my neighbor was outside and his wife drove me to the pet clinic. They stabilized Bailey but had me take him to another clinic better equipped to care for his injuries.

The next morning I called the clinic and they told me Bailey was deteriorating but was still breathing normal. I ran to the clinic and wanted to see him but decided not to so that he wouldn't get too excited as he needed to stay calm, he had two broken ribs, and other internal injuries. I left the clinic to go back home. As soon as I got home the clinic called me to tell me Bailey had passed. I thought I would go insane. How could this happen again? How am I supposed to deal with all this pain? I don't know what to do! How can I process another loss when Max's death is still so fresh?

Bailey.jpg
 My beautiful Bailey
FullSizeRender.jpg 
My beautiful Max




Reading your story again and god I’m crying again as I read it 💔 my heart shatters for you losing both of your precious babies Max & Bailey. My heart just hurts for you.

Back in November 2017 I had a close call almost happen to Teddy. God thinking about it makes my heart race. I had just given Teddy’s morning medications at 7am and going for his morning potty. Instead of him walking our morning walk, I carried him from grass spot to grassy spot. His favorite places I know he’s pee. Teddy never was more than a couple inches from me, I’m always so alert and aware, at my apartment complex there wasn’t very many dogs and if there were they were small and friends of Teddy. Well Out of no where this guy’s 2 full size German Shepard’s run out full speed after Teddy, it happened so fast I thought they were going to kill Teddy, the guy luckily called his dogs before they even touched Teddy or me. I have never seen Teddy run that fast in my entire life and luckily I’m a fast runner and that is when Teddy had CHF so he was no suppose to run. I either thought the dogs were going to kill him or his heart would fail. Luckily neither happened. I saw red. If this guys dogs hurt Teddy or made his heart fail. Oh they would have a death sentence that second. I’m so protective of Teddy I put him and his needs first. And if anyone would of hurt him oh they better relocate. Which I’m sure how all of us feel if anyone were to of hurt our babies.

I’m so deeply sorry your Bailey got attacked by another dog. Just your entire story from Max to Bailey is heart breaking.

I know what you mean by your mind racing 500mph. When Teddy first got diagnosed with CHF we were on the grass a little ways from my apartment, I usually carried Teddy anyways, but he Started having a coughing fit and it wasn’t good, I picked teddy up and held him like a football and ran so fricken fast I swear to god I felt like I teleported form the grass to my car to the vet. It’s amazing when your baby is in trouble we go into this fight/flight mode or whatever it’s called

I know what you mean screaming like a lunatic and your mind racing 500mph. That was me the morning I got the call Teddy passed away. That scream/cry was the loudest/hardest cry that I felt my body ache, my heart ache with such pain. I don’t even remember that drive to the vet to see Teddy after he passed. The emotions I felt was insane. I had just woken up, just spoke to the vet, the conversation was maybe 2 minutes. The conversation was more of me crying so hard I couldn’t breath. I didn’t even get changed or brush my hair I just ran to my car screaming crying, I’m sure my neighbors thought I was insane. My mind blacked out after I was told Teddy passed. I don’t remember that drive from my house to the vet. Once I arrived there was a newbie front desk person I told her sobbing my dog Teddy just died I need to see him, she didn’t even direct me to Teddy like anyone else would of, she just asked me all these questions of what I want to do with his body, and I felt it was taking forever, I just wanted to be like ask me later! I’m going to see Teddy! then a vet saw me and just grabbed me. I felt so many emotions. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. Always thinking of you and your babies💛

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