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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #526 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rookiesmama
Hi Marlen,
I hope you had a good Christmas and were able to find some peace. My nephews were in town, so it kept my mind busy, but it was still very difficult without Rookie. I'm glad that Toby was extra loving.

I really liked how you made a distinction between remembering versus thinking-- that is SO accurate. Watching videos and looking at pictures and linking those to actual events still really hurts.... but not a day goes by that I don't think about Rookie. There I go rambling again!

Take care Marlen!!


Happy New Year Melissa. No such thing as rambling on this forum, we just write as our thought occur to us. I hope you had a peaceful holiday, although I know you miss Rookie so much. 

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          Marlen
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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #527 
"Knowing" 

"If I had known that on that day
our time was near the end...
I would have done things differently
my forever friend.

I would have stayed right next to you
deep into the night...
but I thought I'd see you in the
early morning light.

And so I said 'Good-night' to you
as I walked in through the door...
never thinking of the time
when I'd see you no more.

But if I had known that on that day
our time was at the end...
I would have done things
so differently
my forever friend."

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          Marlen
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Adv2112

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Reply with quote  #528 
This poem touches my heart so deeply:( every word I can relate to
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #529 
Thinking of you Marlen,
Thank you for all your sweet words of encouragement and understanding this past year. Hoping your babies have paid you a New Year visit and Toby is still being adorable, be good to you,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #530 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adv2112
This poem touches my heart so deeply:( every word I can relate to


It does me too. I think because it is so true.

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          Marlen
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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #531 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tankie12
Thinking of you Marlen,
Thank you for all your sweet words of encouragement and understanding this past year. Hoping your babies have paid you a New Year visit and Toby is still being adorable, be good to you,,,,,


Hi Lynn. No visits for the new year just yet, but I'm hopeful. I though about you so much during the holidays. Toby is still perfect. Take care of yourself.

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          Marlen
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Moiii

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Reply with quote  #532 

My dog died the same way as Max, he started limping, never got better, then suddenly died last 12/12/18.

Knowing the pain of losing one dog, I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose two dogs in just a short span of time. We will both get over this someday and remember/think of the the good memories we had with them without crying.

I'm sure Bailey is with his big brother Max wherever they are now, and they are both patiently waiting for you on the other side.


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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #533 
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. It’s awful how quickly these illnesses take over their little bodies and before you know it your baby is gone leaving you with a shattered heart. My Max died within 13 days of him showing any symptoms. I’d like to discuss his case with the last vet he saw the day before he died but even now after almost 7 months since he died I cannot bring up the subject to her because I cannot get the words out, I just begin to sob uncontrollably.

Just yesterday my son sent me pictures of my babies that he had on his phone and I waited until I was alone because I knew I’d be emotional. I couldn’t stop crying seeing these pictures for the very first time. I don’t know when, but hopefully one day I’ll be able to speak of them and look at pictures and videos without shedding a tear. Thank you so much for taking time to write to me.

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          Marlen
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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #534 
MAIcindor
I know how you feel. It's hard to go and pull it all up again. Hearing new things might start painful things all over again. I was reading this Quote:: It may help you, as it has helped me. Although I still those day's. I have to believe what happened, happened for a reason. And I had no control over it. None of us do! We blame ourselves for anything and everything!
I hope this helps you heart in healing! It's from a book called: Hope for a Woman's Heart!
"Trials are medicines which our gracious and wise physician prescribes, because we need them And he proportions the frequency and weight of them to what the case requires. Let's trust in his skill and thank Him for his prescription." In losing Brownie, I blame myself for not seeing his condition. It swept in one day, and took him that night,! I try to read this so the guilt of what I did or didn't see. And know the Lord has a plan. This is what helpse cope. We all grieving different, but I hope this helps.
Sincerely Jessica

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #535 
Hi Marlen, 

I dearly hope things have been flowing along as gently as possible in your world. How I wish that so much pain wasn't a part of it!

I smile to read what a love that Toby is and I'm thankful he is in your life.

What an excellent observation you've made about the difference between thinking and remembering. Thoughts are inevitable and arrive unsolicited and can have a bit of a lighter touch. I am with you, though, in that remembering is still excruciating. I still steer away from photos as they aren't bearable. I'm so, so sorry for the flood of tears that came when you viewed the photos from your son!

I hope with each passing day, that a few bits of the hurt release and wash away. I realize it takes such a long, long time for hearts to mend and with a double portion I can't even imagine. I'm thinking of you and sending warmest of wishes and hugs.

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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #536 
Jessica, thank you so much for sharing that with me. I’m very aware that we are not in control, no matter how much we like to think we are. It is the only solace to know that it is all in God’s plan, I just wish it didn’t include my precious Bailey taken in that horrible manner. I’ve learned to move forward from Max’s illnesses and passing, although I miss him dearly and still cry. I still have not come to terms with Bailey’s circumstances, it just hurts so, so deeply. It crushes my heart.

Catie, I look forward to the day when I can look at pictures and videos without breaking down. My son has tons of other pictures I need to get from him but it requires him being present to transfer those to my phone but don’t want him to see me crying. I’m going to try today because I want to make sure those pictures are preserved.

I’m including one of the pictures my son sent me of him and Bailey that still makes me very emotional.

Attached Images
jpeg 3D31CD57-C3BE-4B5D-B7E4-9BC9B08E72DA.jpeg (258.39 KB, 7 views)


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          Marlen
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #537 
Oh Marlen what a sweet picture, I love it❣️
Tankie’s pictures are everywhere in my phone and iPad but I still quickly move over them. I have sweet frames and pictures galore from Shutterfly but I can’t frame them. Some day,
I don’t think I ever saw the reason for Max’s sudden decline, was it cancer? I know you were treating but I don’t remember it being confirmed. Regardless I know you were devastated and loved/love him dearly. I agree with everything you said about Bailey. Its beyond my comprehension why something so horrible happens. I don’t understand it, it’s just wrong. I can’t believe it’s in a kind and just God’s plans either. I also don’t believe we’re tested to make us stronger. Absurd.
That dog should never have been there. It’s shouldnt have happened and my heart breaks for Bailey and you.
Marlen if you have At&t you should have the mobile transfer icon on your phone it’s easy to transfer that way and you don’t have to help in anyway. Also I bought a flash drive for everything I’ve uploaded to the computer and I keep it in my little fireproof safe. Incase my computer crashes or I lose my phone I won’t have to go crazy on anyone😈

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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #538 
Thank you Lynn. Two of my three loves at the time ❤️. He said he would AirDrop them if that’s what you’re referring to. But knowing him he’s going to want to look at some but I’ll have to tell him I just can’t do it. He’ll understand.

As for Max, he was misdiagnosed, the second vet ultimately suspected cancer but he died before the diagnosis could be confirmed. I thought I would die of a broken heart when he died, he was my first fur baby.

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          Marlen
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https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #539 
That photo is incredibly sweet! So, so precious!

I understand feeling like the emotional pain would literally take you out. I'm so sorry for how awful it was and is to live through all of this. I hate that there was a misdiagnosis. It all was horrible enough without that.  And of course the unspeakable violence with Bailey. I'm with Lynn, I don't see that being part of any plan. Sadly the world we live in contains so many irresponsible people. It never should have happened. 

I hope the photos can be secured, though you still need to avoid looking at them. Me, too--just can't at all, most of the time.

Just a wee note to say you're not alone. Wanted to look in on you and send heartfelt thoughts and hugs.

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Catie
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Rookiesmama

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Reply with quote  #540 
I love that picture Marlen!! Bailey looks so peaceful!
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