My little girl Twinky passed away last Wednesday. I am now on day 5 after we lost her to cancer. She was to be 9 years old this December. I am sincerely happy that she is resting and does not have to fight through any pain anymore. However, I have been an emotional roller coaster every day since her passing. Some nights I've dreamed about her and woken up to thank her for playing with me in my dream. Other nights I go to sleep crying and wake up with a broken heart. At this moment I am sitting in my work cubicle feeling cold, alone, and lost. I talk to Twinky every day and let her know that I'm only crying because I miss feeling her warm soft fur. I am very happy that she is now free from any pain or danger. She's up in heaven now, and I'm so grateful that she can run around and play to her hearts content. I am happy, but my heart hurts so bad. I want to stop feeling this pain. I'm happy for her, but this pain and heartache won't go away. I miss her so much. Anyone going through the same thing, your kind words and understanding would mean so much.
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When you lose
someone you love,
life will change,
you rearrange,
and everything around you
seems so strange.

The world will spin
in the wrong direction.
You feel alone
and want affection.
Your appetite changes,
you may not sleep,
you don't feel like talking
to anyone you meet.

But as time goes on,
things will get better,
and everything
just comes together.

And just because you smile,
it doesn't mean you don't care,
because you know in your heart
that they will always be there.
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Such beautiful pictures of Twinky, she is so sweet looking. I'm so sorry for you pain, this path is a long one, lots of waves of emotions. You loved her so much you knew you had to let go of her so she could go on to a pain-free and wonderful spirit life. That is the ultimate gift of love and the most difficult to recover from. This pain you feel will ease up with time, don't know how long, but it will be better. The wonderful memories you have of her, the joy and love you shared, will be the foundation that lets you move forward. But let yourself grieve, there is no short cut on this path. Know that so many people here are taking that same journey, you are not alone, we all share the sadness of losing our wonderful sweet friends. She is in heaven, you will be reunited again, and oh my, what a glorious day that will be. Bless you and know you are in my prayers.
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So sorry for the loss of your baby twinky x yes its hell am at week 5 this Wednesday since my boy gizmo got pts , I cry every day x only way I get through a day is to block it out but that's worse cause when it hits me its like getting hit by a bus, your wee twinky is absolutely gorgeous x I wish I could take your pain away ,I can only say I understand, I feel my hart has been ripped out x stay on here the people are beautiful and so understanding as theyr all goin through the same xx plz know am thinking of you & sending you healing hugs at this difficult time x Annemarie x
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Thank you for all the warm and thoughtful replies everyone. This forum has helped me a lot to handle my grief. I'm happy for Twinky. I'm able to laugh a little more when I think of her silly antics instead of just crying whenever I think of her.
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I'm doing much better tonight. I feel happy again. I know I'm not fully over my sadness but I feel it fading into happiness for Twinky. I was so focused on grieving the loss of my best friend. But, thinking of Twinky's adorable face helped me realize that I was so lucky to have met her and hugged her for so long. I think to myself, why pity myself for not being able to enjoy her company anymore? Instead I should be grateful that God gifted me with the most adorable and loving dog ever, and that she made me such a happy and loving person for it. My girlfriend purchased a star and dedicated it to Twinky and named it after her. My Twinky little star now has a star of her own :)
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What a wonderful and thoughtful thing to do, giving Twinky her own star. She is a beautiful pup, I'm very sorry for your loss.
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