OMG..your story could be mine-completely!!! I had to put my Baby down last Tuesday. The exact same thing happened-the lump on his neck, began growing. The Vet said it was probably cancerous, but she didn't think he would survive surgery as he was so old and getting more frail by the day.
I held him at the end, he knows I loved him so very much, but he was beginning to suffer-exactly like you describe Tweak was and I couldn't bear for him to be in pain. Your heart is broken and you re-live his final moments. I did too but after almost a week, those are beginning to fade and good memories are coming through. I miss him so very much and I know you miss Tweak. I had Baby for almost 19 years. Such a hole is left behind, but just know they are waiting for us, happy and whole. God Bless Diane
Heaven is a happier place with my Baby on patrol, but Mama misses you so very much. I Love you my Baby Boy.