Popperdoodles
Hello, I just lost my crazy energetic sweet boy Tucker. He had only just turned one and developed uncontrollable seizures. They came out of no where with the first one happening on his 1 year birthday. They got progressively worse and nothing would stop them and last week he basically went in to a continuos state and suffered brain damage. I cry every day, several times a day and mornings are the hardest as they were our quiet time together before anyone else was up. I finally laid him to rest today. I can’t stop thinking about him out there in the cold ground and have to fight the urge to go get him. His hair is still everywhere and his bell is on the door. I can feel him leaning against me even now. My teenage daughters and husband seem to have handled it so much healthier than myself. I know hey loved him and are sad but they don’t seem to be st a standstill. I wish I were a more spiritual person but I don’t even know what I believe. My heart is broken.
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VickyMJ
Hi, I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy.

You are still in the very early days of grief and I felt exactly like you when I lost my young cat suddenly just over 5 weeks ago.

My family also dealt with the loss so much better than me, I couldn’t eat, sleep and didn’t want to go out or see anyone for almost 2 weeks. Everyone grieves differently so try not to compare yourself to others. The pain you are feeling just shows how much you loved him and still do, you always will.

I still miss my boy (Raisin) everyday, him snuggling up to me and his loud purr in the middle of the night. I’ll always miss him, but your pain won’t always feel this raw, the sharp edges of grief will be a little less as time moves on.

I have Raisin buried in my garden and also feel like you, that he shouldn’t be out there in the cold, but I try not to let myself think too deeply about that and although I’m not religious I do believe his spirit is close by and that he is warm and happy playing in the sun with my other lost family.

Give yourself time, there is no limit to how long you should grieve.

Thinking of you x
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Merlysmum
First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss of sweet Tucker. One year old! That's so awful (unfair). Your grief is incredibly raw. Never mind how your family has reacted to his death; your grief and sorrow lasts as long as it lasts. My Merlin was euthanized 3 months ago and I still sometimes wake up and look for him before the truth hits me. Mornings ARE the worst. A whole day stretches before you without your best friend and companion. For now, and through the holidays especially, be sure to take care of your physical and mental/emotional health. It doesn't matter how spiritual you are; loss is loss and one as big as yours needs a lot of time to heal.
What breed was Tucker? Tell us about him.
Joanne Brigden
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William
So sorry for the loss of Tucker.
Yes the Mornings seem to be so difficult and I am st the 6 month mark. Some things seem a little easier but I still think of William all the time. My world has changed drastically.

Everyone has different ways to grieve. Don't compare just go with how you feel. I spent more time with William than any other family members so my grief is completely different from theirs. I don't judge them for that I just ask them to understand my boy was my world and now he is gone.

Hoping you get some periods of peace as you continue this journey of grief
Kim
Kim
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September
Hello. I am so sorry about your Tucker, especially as he was so young. I know how you are feeling, I really do. My sweetheart was a house bunny, Timothy. We lost him suddenly in August. He was only 3years 8months. He is laid to rest in our garden, and at the beginning it was very hard to take my mind from him being there. Even though he was a rabbit, he preferred to be indoors, and I hated myself for leaving him outside, but the thought of cremating his little self was even worse. Every morning before I went to work was our little playtime, so now I sit for a while outside with him, take myself off to a different place, have a chat and a few tears. It is sort of comforting.

Everyone grieves in their own way. My husband took himself away and grieved in private. I know he cried a lot secretly, because he loved that bunny like crazy. You never think the hard, raw grief is going to go away, but it does over time. I think what replaces it is just an emptiness and a wall. The wall, to me, is a point were it's not going to get any better than it is. So we get back to some sort of 'normality' because we just have to, but every tiny moment inbetween belongs to our little angel and that's just how it's going to be. But it's a special place to go to.

Thinking of you
Lynda
X
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"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal"      C.S. Lewis
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Popperdoodles
Merlysmum wrote:
First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss of sweet Tucker. One year old! That's so awful (unfair). Your grief is incredibly raw. Never mind how your family has reacted to his death; your grief and sorrow lasts as long as it lasts. My Merlin was euthanized 3 months ago and I still sometimes wake up and look for him before the truth hits me. Mornings ARE the worst. A whole day stretches before you without your best friend and companion. For now, and through the holidays especially, be sure to take care of your physical and mental/emotional health. It doesn't matter how spiritual you are; loss is loss and one as big as yours needs a lot of time to heal. What breed was Tucker? Tell us about him.
Hi Merlysmum, I'm sorry for the late response. Thank you so much for your kind words of wisdom! I felt so lost when I found this site! I had trouble even reading how to long in because the tears just would not stop! It's so comforting to know that someone else knows your grief! I felt like I was literally going to be institutionalized! I'm so thankful that you were able to honor Merlin by sharing his story with me. My sweet boy was a border collie/australian shepherd mix. He was mischevious and incorrigible but I was his mommy and I loved him! Thank you again. I hope your pain will dissolve gradually into the beautiful memories you have of your sweet baby boy! 
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Popperdoodles
VickyMJ wrote:
Hi, I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. You are still in the very early days of grief and I felt exactly like you when I lost my young cat suddenly just over 5 weeks ago. My family also dealt with the loss so much better than me, I couldn’t eat, sleep and didn’t want to go out or see anyone for almost 2 weeks. Everyone grieves differently so try not to compare yourself to others. The pain you are feeling just shows how much you loved him and still do, you always will. I still miss my boy (Raisin) everyday, him snuggling up to me and his loud purr in the middle of the night. I’ll always miss him, but your pain won’t always feel this raw, the sharp edges of grief will be a little less as time moves on. I have Raisin buried in my garden and also feel like you, that he shouldn’t be out there in the cold, but I try not to let myself think too deeply about that and although I’m not religious I do believe his spirit is close by and that he is warm and happy playing in the sun with my other lost family. Give yourself time, there is no limit to how long you should grieve. Thinking of you x
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Popperdoodles
Hello VickyMJ,

I want to thank you for sharing your story about Raisin and your grief with me. I'm still struggling with the fact that one day his warm furry body was as close to mine as my own skin and the next day he is lying about 50 feet away in a dark hole! I am also re-evaluating my belief in the hereafter. I KNOW I feel his warm body leaning in to mine! It's such a beautiful bittersweet experience. He's here because I can't let him go. As ever..he is my loyal companion who loves me even as broken as I am. I'm sure he wants to move on with our other fur babies but I am being selfish and he is being who he has always been. This selfless perfect being.  Thank you sweet lady for sharing a very personal experience with me, a total stranger. I hope you will find the same comfort that you have given me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
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September
"He's here because I can't let him go". This is my Timothy. You have said everything that needs to be said in those few words. Thank you xxxx
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"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal"      C.S. Lewis
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