I am so very sorry for your loss of Sam and the pain you are in. Two weeks ago, I lost my 8 month old Great Dane puppy to a heart attack. He laid down for a nap on the couch and was gone minutes later. I heard him moan/howl and ran to him but he was gone. I tried compressions while screaming and felt that last breath leave and knew he was gone. Right there, in my arms on my couch. The loss of time that we feel "owed" is painful. The life we expected with them, gone. Just doesn't make sense. The pain is deep. The "what ifs" ramble constantly. I call them my thoughts of the day - each day is a different thought. WHY didn't I try more CPR? WHY didn't the vet tell me to try CPR correctly instead of telling me to drive there 20 minutes away? WHY didn't I just go to the nearest vet - 5 minutes away? What if.... What if.... I was in a Facebook Group with all the puppy siblings and had to leave it for now - watching everyone else get to watch their pups grow up is just too much. I cared too much - babied him, worried too much, and still this comes out of left field to cripple me. Every single time we lose a dog, we lose a piece of our hearts. Every single time we choose to love a dog again, we fill in that lost piece with a piece of their heart and we are happy again. I hope that someday, my heart will be as kind as all of my dogs' hearts were. <3 Peace, hugs and love.
* Duncan the Dane - taken WAY too soon (7/27/17 - 3/28/18) * Missing Dudley the Newf (3/13/08 - 6/12/17)