FClaire
Is it normal to be trying to work through the grief. But then suddenly start to feel guilty. We lost Our beautiful boy Ollie ten days ago and we are absolutely heartbroken. I desperately want him back, but when I suddenly realise that's not going to happen the feelings I get are so painful I cant breathe. Struggling to accept reality, still feels a dream. Also through the day as I just think I'm doing ok for that half hour or hour. I begin to feel guilty that I shouldn't be feeling ok. I have just lost my baby. Are these thoughts normal? Really struggling today with the fact it seems so long ago now he was here. But it was only two weeks ago he was doing the things he loved. I just dont know now what I should be feeling.
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Yes. They are normal. Grief has been compared as we know to the ebb and flow of the tides of the Earth. At times greif lowers, then it slowly ebbs back up around us, then it rises suddenly and almost goes past our necks and then at times, a large wave of grief will come and seemingly swallow us, sweep us off our feet and almost drown us. The key to survival is evidently to wait. Tread water when necessary. Wait for the tide to recede. We will all get through this.

The Veteran's of grief here, some who have been here for many years, are proof-positive that we can survive what we are experiencing and move past it. And soon only our favorite and most wonderful memories of our lost loved ones shall remain. 

James
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Zoey2019
He would want you to be ok, i lost my zoey on the 9th of August this year. I know it sucks honestly i was debating not going into work and staying in bed all day and crying but they dont want that. Sure its ok to let yourself grief and you should he ment the world to you like my zoey ment to me. Just know this forum does help, its going to take time but honestly everyone takes it at their own pace but what you feel is normal its going to be shakey at first but thats because they ment so much to us.
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FClaire
Memories_of_Marmalade wrote:


Yes. They are normal. Grief has been compared as we know to the ebb and flow of the tides of the Earth. At times greif lowers, then it slowly ebbs back up around us, then it rises suddenly and almost goes past our necks and then at times, a large wave of grief will come and seemingly swallow us, sweep us off our feet and almost drown us. The key to survival is evidently to wait. Tread water when necessary. Wait for the tide to recede. We will all get through this. The Veteran's of grief here, some who have been here for many years, are proof-positive that we can survive what we are experiencing and move past it. And soon only our favorite and most wonderful memories of our lost loved ones shall remain. 

James
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FClaire
James thankyou so much for understanding and explaining it so well xxx
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creole54
FClaire I understand.  This morning I had friends over for a bible study group.  I spent over 2 hours visiting and talking with them.  We talked about my Daisy, but this is the first day since she died that I haven't woke up crying.  I felt a bit guilty.  I just lost my baby, how can I continue my normal life?  

Daisy always joined us for our weekly bible study sessions.  This morning one of my friends commented on how she, too, felt her loss.  Daisy didn't meet her at the door like normal to sniff her...to see if she 'passed inspection', as my friend put it.  

I just don't know how to feel, or how I should be acting.  I miss my baby so much, part of me doesn't want to go on, the other part of me knows I must.
Teri Milbourn
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FClaire
Zoey2019. Thankyou and sorry on your loss of Zoey. I keep telling myself ollie wouldn't want me to be sad. But it's so hard. It seems a longtime ago now he was here, it's only two weeks and he was still doing what he enjoyed. I feel he's in the distance, not near me. Where I want him to be. I'm feeling so guilty about this. I dont want to forget him. These feelings are so different to last week they worry and confuse me. Dont feel at the minute I'm in control of my thoughts and feelings. Top and bottom of it I think is I cant accept hes not coming back. I know deep down but it suffocates me when I think about it. Apologies for rambling, all these thoughts and feelings in my head. Xxx
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Dear Teri,

I don't know if you have read some of my story, but I was an Atheist / Agnostic for 50 years, until my cat Marmalade brought me back to faith, when I prayed for him to be saved in 2016, 2017 and 2018 and God came through for me each and every time. Marmalade taught me how to feel blessed and content with a simple piece of bread. He was Heaven sent to me. I am so grateful that our paths crossed when they did and that I experienced such unconditional love in my lifetime. Even if it was only for a short time.

I am humbled by the love that I was granted. I bow my head to such love.

Kind regards,
James
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FClaire
Creole54 exactly just how I feel. Thought there was something wrong with me. I'm lost because just dont know what I should be feeling. I think though that,that is lovely how you all talked about Daisy, I have no one around me to really speak about ollie apart from hubby!!! Daughter and son away traveling. Part of me doesn't want to be here, I want to be with Ollie looking after him like I always did. But in reality I know I'm needed here and its not an option.Just miss him so so much, like you do Daisy. It really helps to come on here and speak to people going through exactly the same thing. Thankyou Freda xxx
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