Lauren03
I lost my precious Bennie Jan 15, 2020 (just a few days ago). I miss him so much, but more so, I feel so guilty. Im afraid, as the days go on, if I stop feeling sad, it means that I dont miss him anymore. like, as if his life didnt mean anything to me. which is wild because he was my world, so I just dont know how to live on without feeling guilty. 
here is my confusion:
if I stop feeling sad, and continue life, does that mean that I have gotten over it? because I dont want to get over it, I dont want to forget about my precious Benito.. I dont know if this makes any sense, im new to this pet loss thing, and im new to forums. hopefully someone has some insight. thanks all.  (here is a pic of my little one, he was around 12 years old in this photo, but he lived to 15)IMG_0412.jpg
Lauren
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Hi Lauren,

I'm sorry about the loss of your beloved Bennie. He was a very handsome lad. And he looks like quite the character too. Appears fun loving.

You wrote: 

"I'm afraid, as the days go on, if I stop feeling sad, it means that I dont miss him anymore. like, as if his life didnt mean anything to me. which is wild because he was my world, so I just dont know how to live on without feeling guilty. 

here is my confusion:

if I stop feeling sad, and continue life, does that mean that I have gotten over it? because I dont want to get over it, I dont want to forget about my precious Benito."

That is not what it means sweetheart. The goal for each and everyone of us is to heal. No matter how long or short that takes. For each person and for each loss it is unique and different. Although we all share some common feelings and emotions. Including grief, sadness, regret, remorse and guilt. But we all must try and heal to the point that whenever we think about our lost loved ones, we feel gratitude, joy, love and fond memories. NOT grief. Not sadness. Not regret. Not remorse. And not guilt. So if you can let go of those negative feelings, GOOD. Please do so. 15 years for a dog, especially a small one, is remarkable. It is something to celebrate!

You will always love and remember your boy. Don't ever worry about such a thing. That is your mind playing tricks on your. Trying to fix what can not be fixed. It is trying to rationalize something that is devastating and overwhelming. It is a form of trauma. 

So please be gentle with yourself and just continue to travel through time. This forum saved my life. The other members will chime in soon. 

Kind regards and my sincerest condolences,
James


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Jan_H
Lauren,

I am very sorry for your loss of your sweet, adorable Benito. He looks like a happy boy and I love his ears. There is no need to feel guilty when you don't feel sad. I am sure you will never forget Benito and that he had a very happy life with you. And I know he would want you to be happy and remember the fun times you shared.

My condolences,
Jan
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MikeK_123
Lauren,

Your post hit home with me.....

I have also experienced a loss - in the last couple of weeks.  I also struggle with the same feelings.  To move forward - I need to stop obsessing over how much I miss Gracie.  I also feel guilty - on not thinking about her and how much I miss her.....

I wish I was more eloquent.....the reality is...we all need to get to a point where we can move forward.  We have to.  Many of us - have others depending on us.  We also have to move forward for ourselves.  I so miss my cat Gracie.  It has been almost 2 weeks now - and I still can not bring my self to sit or lay in certain spots in my house - because these are spots we shared.  I will get there.  We all need to do so on our own time.

I am sorry for the loss of your Bennie.  I agree with the comments from James.  Your memories and feelings will be there.  Don't worry if they are not front and center of every day.  They are deeper.....

It sounds like he two of you had an incredible life together!

Find peace and happy memories....

Mike






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Lauren03
I dont know how to respond to everyone, so hopefully you all see this, but thank you so much to those who have commented. I am healing, slowly, but surely. and your replies have been nothing but helpful and have been giving me clarity in this healing process. Thank you all, and God bless!
Lauren
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