MysweetNikkigirl
Many people think I'm crazy because I care for my dogs as if they were my own flesh and blood. My husband and I weren't able to have kids together so our dogs are our babies. I do have a daughter from my previous marriage and she loves the dogs like her sisters. On Thursday, 12/10, our family changed tragically. It started out as a typical Thursday morning that my husband was off work. We were sitting outside watching the youngest dogs, Misty and Nikki, play. Nikki and Misty were litter mates and just a little over a year old. My mom was was visiting and had her puppy with her, Misty and Nikki's sister but from a different litter. They were all chasing each other around the yard. 3 little chihuahuas, all 6 ponds or less, running around. They were circling my flower pots, some of them up on a small folding table, when all of a sudden, the table fell over. A heavy, green ceramic pot tumbled to the ground. On the pots way down, it hit Nikki in the head. She laid there silently, not moving at all. I ran to her instantly and held her as my mom rushed in to get my husband. Blood began to come out of her ears and her body began to convulse. I wrapped her in a towel and held her as I heard her take her last breath. The vet told me she was brain dead instantly. I hope this to be true. Now, I have her cremated remains back. I find I can't sleep without them and I often find myself crying off and on throughout the day. I don't know how to grieve the loss of my fur baby. Any suggestions. I apologize for the long post, I just had to tell someone.
Quote 0 0
camunki
my heart goes out to you, and to lose your baby Nikki, as you were holding her, this is all so tragic.......grieving will take a long time,
a very long time, this is all so fresh and new. Sleeping with her cremains I am sure helps alot, and of course crying is a given....Please know your Nikki is in no pain and your guardian angel til you meet again.

Cam

Cam


 
Quote 0 0
JerseyNonna
nikki's mom - everyone grieves in their own time and own way and while we all have similar emotions for certain it's all different for everyone.  what happened to your darling nikki is a tragedy and i'm sure the vet was right - doesn't make it any bit easier hon but the one thing we all wonder is if our fur-babies suffered at the end.  as for the grieving process at first it is like an open raw wound where we believe we will never get out of the darkness we've found ourselves in.  we cry at the drop of a dime anytime and anyplace and please please understand that is quite alright for you to do that.  my daughter and grandson came down today to visit and took me to olive garden for lunch (guess she had to make sure i'd eat something today) and i had tears come to my eyes eating the salad and soup just because the thought that roxie loved chicken came to my mind.

check with your vet to see if they may have a bereavement counsellor, especially since i'm sure misty is missing her littermate fiercely.  i was told to have a lock of roxie's hair clipped (for myself mostly and her memorial) but also to allow tae to sniff the hair to see "yes, this is roxie but she's gone".  after the sniff she seemed to understand and today she was playing with my grandson and vocalizing like her old self. 

be prepared to have some really bad days but then you will also have days where you get through.  at some point you can find that you smile when memories of nikki come to you and the bad days fall behind to give you more "present days" that are ok.  nikki will want you to help misty get through this too so try to be strong for her in nikki's honor.  there are so many wonderful folks here who share the loss we do and please, never ever let anyone belittle your feelings or grieving!  do not allow ignorance to make you feel as if you shouldn't be grieving in the way you choose. 

eventually one day we will all cross the bridge and all those bright shining eyes and wagging tails (if they had one, lol) will be racing across the meadow to jump into our arms and we will never be apart from them again.  so for now remind yourself it's not "goodbye" but rather "see ya later nikki" because you will!   many, many hugs to you and yours
JerseyNonna
Quote 0 0
camunki
so for now remind yourself it's not "goodbye" but rather "see ya later nikki" because you will!   many, many hugs to you and yours ....just wanted to chime in and say **thanks** JerseyNonna for posting this, it brought a smile to my face!!!!

Cam


 
Quote 0 0
stellasMOM
Oh dear Nikki's mom, I am so very sorry for your loss of your sweet girl! Nothing can ever prepare us for their loss and this was so unexpected and tragic. Please know that all of us fur-baby parents grieve along with you and send love and strength to you! My husband and I did not have human children and we let our beautiful Black Lab Stella go yesterday and are walking through grief as we speak. These beautiful souls are PERFECTION and we are better because of them. Be easy with your emotions and know that days will be hard and some worse than others. I have been crying non-stop and my heart actually hurts. Sharing our grief helps. Bless you and your whole family...furbabies and humans! xo
Quote 0 0
MysweetNikkigirl
Today has been really hard for me. Reading all of your posts have touched my heart. I have loved on all of my fur babies extra hard today. Misty is doing pretty good with the loss of her litter mate. It took her about a week, but she is playing with my other chihuahua, the one that "mommied" them, Minnie. Minnie took it hard but she too is doing pretty good. I'm glad they have each other. I think they help each other so much. My fur baby that took it the hardest is my 8 year old beagle, Maya. Nikki drove her crazy. Nikki was always licking at Maya's mouth and Maya hated that. Nikki started doing that from the time we got her. Maya would make this awful whining noise whenever Nikki would do this. I miss hearing this noise because I can't tell Nikki to stop. My 7 year old beagle is doing okay. She clings to me like glue, more so than before. I think she knows I am sad. I love on all my babies throughout the day, my day just doesn't seem complete without loving on Nikki. Then I sit here and wonder what am I to do with her sweaters. My vet suggested donating them, just don't know if I can handle that. I know there are days I can't handle looking at them.

I am glad I have found you guys because I know you all understand what I am going through. Thank you all for your support. My heart goes out to each of you for your losses. I know we can get through this together.
Quote 0 0
camunki
hi Nikkigirl....do what you want to with Nikki's sweaters.........do nothing now with Nikki's sweaters, they are yours to keep, someday
you may wnat to save them for a "memorabelia"...............As you are doing, give your dogs the xtra love and support they need,
they probably "know" something is off...........they just need the extra re assurance from wondering where their other beloved buddy
went.

Do what you have to for Nikki, hold onto her possessions...............I still have not moved any bowls, blankets, bedding from my
sweet Munki.........I actually sleep with her blanket, even her dog collar, i wear it at night, yes that may sound silly ,but the smell
of her around my neck keeps me sane.............we all do what we have to do to keep ourselves, ok.................

Wishing you strength & support  

Cam

Cam


 
Quote 0 0
MysweetNikkigirl
Today has been a better day for me. My daughter has kept me busy shopping today. I have had very little time to sit around and cry. I do worry about next week when she goes back to school and I am home alone. I worry it will hit me harder than it has in the last two weeks. Its only been 20 days since my sweet baby girl came to the Rainbow Bridge and it still feels like yesterday. Honestly, I feel like a part of my heart was ripped out that day I screamed to the Heavens for my sweet Nikki. I honestly think my day has been good because I snuggled the wooden box that her cremains are in all night long and dreamed of my sweet little girl the way she was when she played verses the way she looked when she passed. Last night was the first night I didn't dream about her death over and over. I think that is progress.
Quote 0 0