Yesterday, we lost our little Bella suddenly. She was 8 years old and truly the light of our life. We took her into the vet for a typical teeth cleaning and they had to extract a cracked tooth. She came out of the anesthesia, they had called us to tell us everything went fine. Then about 10 mins. later we received the call that she had collapsed and they were working on her, but we better head in. She had been sitting up, let out a yelp and collapsed. All the work they did on her brought no response. She was just there and then she was gone. The vet suspects a blood clot that traveled to her brain or lungs. 

I wish I had hugged her a little tighter yesterday morning, I wish I could pet her soft fur again. We spent plenty of time with her yesterday, but it was clear she was long gone. The dog we cried over, held, kissed, and smelled one last time was not our Bella. 

We got Bella from a rescue when she was three months old. She was always such a perfect fit for us. She was with us through our two miscarriages and infertility struggles and we were counting on her to be a source of comfort as we embarked on IVF this winter. We are mourning so much more than our dog. We are mourning our first and only pet together, we are mourning the loss of our family unit, I am mourning my co-worker (I work from home), and no matter how much we cry, it can't bring her back. 

I feel like we are putting on foot in front of the other, but the ache and longing for her is just getting more intense. She slept in our bed, so last night we just hugged each other and cried, missing her tangled up between us. This morning, when she wasn't there for me to get a quick cuddle and kiss in, was horrible. As my husband left for work he broke down and sobbed because she wasn't there for her morning treat from him (a very important ritual between them) and then he couldn't hear her barking as he opened the garage. 

There are so many moments that she was a part of that we just never were aware of. So many moments shared during the day that are now hollow or lost. Our house feels so quiet and empty. She was never a loud dog, but her presence was always there. She followed me most everywhere during the day and I lost my little buddy. 

We have never walked this path before and we don't know how to cope. So far, we have just cried, sobbed, talked about the good memories and just supported each other. But, I don't know how this longing for her is ever going to go away? She made up so much of our lives.
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I am so, so sorry for the sudden loss of your precious Bella, and at such a young age. Your hearts are shattered, the pain so unbearable from the sudden emptiness left behind, my heart truly hurts that you have to go through this horrible time of your lives.
The best we can hope for at this time is baby steps, finding our way through each day is a huge task in of itself, I wish you and your husband such strength each and every day.
If you feel up to it, I would love to see a photo of your Bella, she sounds like such an adorable girl.
I am so sorry you are having to go through such a sudden loss of your valued and extremely loved family member, it is never easy losing such an important part of our lives.
Wishing such peace, light and healing to find your shattered hearts, hold the loving and treasured memories of your precious girl close to your heart and you will always feel her love.....your Bella will make sure of that.
Sending our most positive healing thoughts your way.
Sincerely, Don & Vera

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Thank you!!!

Here is our sweet girl....
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What a beautiful girl, with such gentle and loving eyes.
I hope you are finding a little bit of peace each day, this is a long journey with many dips and valleys, baby steps is the best we can hope for at this time.
Wishing such peace, light and healing to your heart.
Thank you so much for sharing the photo of your beautiful Bella.

In Friendship, Don & Vera
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