Valley_hughes
Has anyone else been scared to go to sleep or had trouble sleeping during this whole process? I’m scared because while I would love to see my fur baby in my dreams I’m also scared how painful it would be if that makes sense. I lost Peanut 24 hours ago now and I am not coping that well.
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tazmoe
I've had a couple dreams with Kona in them. In all my dreams he just walks by me. I like to think he is telling me that he is ok, and I should try and move on.

I do have trouble sleeping overall. Last night didn't sleep a wink. I have to be really tired in order to fall asleep.
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Valley_hughes
tazmoe wrote:
I've had a couple dreams with Kona in them. In all my dreams he just walks by me. I like to think he is telling me that he is ok, and I should try and move on.

I do have trouble sleeping overall. Last night didn't sleep a wink. I have to be really tired in order to fall asleep.


Thank you for your response. I would love to have a dream that he lets me know that he is okay. Even if that means I wake up crying from seeing him. I didn’t sleep well the night before we put him to sleep or last night and I’m thinking tonight will be the same. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this as well. This is so painful but he was worth every second of it.
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Millie18
Valley Hughes I'm so sorry for your loss.

During my 1st few nights I had to sleep with a light on. I felt scared as well, but because of the empty house, missing a watchdog's good ears and I couldn't bare going to sleep in an empty bed without my pup beside me.

In my head when it was light it could mean that she was just sleeping in the other room and hadn't come to bed yet. I didn't sleep well when I did. I was also afraid that I would have nightmares. Thank goodness those never happened. It's all scary at 1st when you're used to a routine being with your friend.

It does get easier. That 1st week I felt like I was going to die. Now I just talk to her and recreate some of the routines we had before. The good mornings and good nights. You do whatever it takes to get through the darkness.

I'm sending you light
Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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Valley_hughes
Millie18 wrote:
Valley Hughes I'm so sorry for your loss.

During my 1st few nights I had to sleep with a light on. I felt scared as well, but because of the empty house, missing a watchdog's good ears and I couldn't bare going to sleep in an empty bed without my pup beside me.

In my head when it was light it could mean that she was just sleeping in the other room and hadn't come to bed yet. I didn't sleep well when I did. I was also afraid that I would have nightmares. Thank goodness those never happened. It's all scary at 1st when you're used to a routine being with your friend.

It does get easier. That 1st week I felt like I was going to die. Now I just talk to her and recreate some of the routines we had before. The good mornings and good nights. You do whatever it takes to get through the darkness.

I'm sending you light


Thank you for your response Millie18. I am glad that I’m not the only one terrified to sleep because of nightmares. It has only been a day and I don’t know how I’m going to survive this first week. Knowing I have other people to help me get through this is a huge help. Thank you.
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Millie18
My 1st week was spent sobbing, screaming, writing and organizing all of Mill's digital photos. I hadn't found this site yet.

Do whatever you need to in order to grieve. This site has been a saving grace for me, although I wish I had found it much sooner. You have friends here who know what you're going through.

Sending you hugs tonight and wishing you a peaceful night's rest
Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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Valley_hughes
Millie18 wrote:
My 1st week was spent sobbing, screaming, writing and organizing all of Mill's digital photos. I hadn't found this site yet.

Do whatever you need to in order to grieve. This site has been a saving grace for me, although I wish I had found it much sooner. You have friends here who know what you're going through.

Sending you hugs tonight and wishing you a peaceful night's rest


I have been off and on having panic attack all day. Fine one moment, crying hysterically the next. I feel guilt too that I did not have him cremated, though I am setting him up a memorial in my room. Just so much guilt and grief right now. Thank you so much for guiding me through this pain. Much love to you.
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Rookiesmama
Valerie,
I was about to respond, nope, no nightmares here... but then I remembered the first night without my Rookie when I woke up or moved in bed it seemed like my legs were paralyzed (my Rookie's injury). It wasn't scary per se (I know that sounds crazy) but more completely unsettling. I think I was trying to relate to him somehow. Now it's almost 3 weeks later and I still have a lot of trouble staying asleep. For some reason I sleep better starting around 4a. Not so great when the alarm goes off at 530! think it's just so hard to sleep without him.... he slept with me every night for 7 years
I ask him to visit me every night and I think I saw his face once and I KNOW I saw one of his toys once, but that's it. I am trying to get acclimated to being completely on my own again. I'm single and my Rookie was definitely a protector. He didn't bark once we were in bed, but it was easy to tell he was attuned to every sound. I hope you are able to have some peace tonight.
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Valley_hughes
Rookiesmama wrote:
Valerie,
I was about to respond, nope, no nightmares here... but then I remembered the first night without my Rookie when I woke up or moved in bed it seemed like my legs were paralyzed (my Rookie's injury). It wasn't scary per se (I know that sounds crazy) but more completely unsettling. I think I was trying to relate to him somehow. Now it's almost 3 weeks later and I still have a lot of trouble staying asleep. For some reason I sleep better starting around 4a. Not so great when the alarm goes off at 530! think it's just so hard to sleep without him.... he slept with me every night for 7 years
I ask him to visit me every night and I think I saw his face once and I KNOW I saw one of his toys once, but that's it. I am trying to get acclimated to being completely on my own again. I'm single and my Rookie was definitely a protector. He didn't bark once we were in bed, but it was easy to tell he was attuned to every sound. I hope you are able to have some peace tonight.


I am so sorry for your loss. Peanut went to the bathroom a lot at night so he slept downstairs, which breaks my heart now. When he was a baby he slept with me all the time. Just not being him around hurts my heart. I will pray for peaceful sleep for both of us. I feel asleep at 4 am this morning by the way. Woke up at 7:30.
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