chilover Show full post »
MyBella
Dear Angelina,
 
I am so truly sorry for the loss of your precious Daisy, it is never easy to lose such a loved and valued member of our family. 
I have been reading through your threads, the sudden emptiness left behind is one of the hardest adjustments to make, I am touched by your love for your sweet Daisy, the way you describe her beautiful eyes deeply touched my heart. 
 
Angelina, the thoughts you have had about the whole process is normal, I completely understand how difficult this can be on you, I take Bella’s urn with me everywhere I go, it brings me comfort, she always went everywhere with me when she was here and I’m not ready to break that tradition just yet, I sleep with her urn, and you know what, sometimes I honestly think I can hear her snoring, yep, that little girl could snore like an adult, always made me laugh, even though it kept me up I loved to watch her sleep and snore, I also have her blankets on our bed, for when she wants to visit and crawl in. We need to do what we feel will help us through this difficult time of heartbreak. I hope reading this can help you in anyway with your broken heart, grieving takes time, we all grieve at our own pace, there is no time limit for grieving, so please be gentle on yourself and never let anyone try to tell you when you are done grieving.
 
The dreams you have had of your precious Daisy, I honestly believe they are sending us a message through our dreams, and maybe that is their way of visiting us and letting us know they are always close, I even had a couple of upsetting dreams at the beginning as well, but over time the good dreams are more frequent and I enjoy the way they make me feel when I wake up, our Angels reaching out from beyond…..
 
Angelina, I also had a very hard time being around other dogs after little girl had to leave, just like you, tears filled my eyes seeing other dogs. I was jealous of those people who were out walking their dogs, I would look away as it would upset me so much, but in time I can now look at dogs, and I especially enjoy seeing Chihuahuas, I can now compare them to Bella where as before I would break down, it took me well over a year, I think even longer, but time does help, time doesn’t completely heal your shattered heart, but in time you will find comfort in those things that are so difficult right now. Tears still fall, yes, even five years later, but they are softer now, and less frequent, I can now smile more and laugh with Vera about all the funny things Bella did. Our babies gave us those fun moments to hold and use to help our hearts mend, it does take time, so please don’t push or rush yourself, Daisy watches over you, sending her love each day to help you when she can, I sincerely hope that your heart can feel her love and warmth, never doubt, just believe.
 
Thank you for your message on Bella’s thread, I really appreciate you writing. I apologize for not responding earlier, but the last two weeks have been really hectic.
I noticed you haven’t posted any photos of your precious Daisy, if you feel up to it I would love to see her, of course I completely understand if you aren’t ready at this time, whenever you are ready, no rush.
 
Sending my warmest wishes for peace, strength and healing to find your heart, may your heart always know and feel the pure love and light that is your sweet Daisy.
 
Sincerely and in friendship, Don, Vera and forever little Bella.

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chilover
Don.and Vera

Thankyou so much for your very kind and comforting words to me about my beloved little Daisy,  & I send my sincere apologies for not seeing this sooner.

The adjustments have been very difficult & because there was just the 2 of us her absence has been very difficult to deal with.

It is a beautiful thing that you take your Bella's urn with you everywhere you go, she was a very special little girl & had a beautiful life with yourself & Vera & I loved her little coats and jumpers & loved reading about all of her funny little antics. Chihuahuas are such beautiful little dogs with fabulous characters. It made me smile when you said that she snored because my Daisy did too & sometimes her little tongue would pop out the side of her mouth as she slept & snored, it looked so cute. I really miss looking over at her bed & every other little thing she did. I have to have her involved in my daily life in whatever shape or form, whether it being going to a church to sit & reminisce & pray or to visit this forum, call a petloss helpline, fill in her scrapbook or read books about petloss. As she is no longer with me physically, it's the next best thing & I need it. I do whatever helps me to get through the days. I still feel sad when I see people out with their dogs, I smile when I see them but walk away feeling empty. It is wonderful that we can all come to this forum and read & share stories when many others on the outside world cannot understand or tolerate our losses.
 
One day I would like to post a picture of Daisy, I'm not sure when. 

Thankyou also for that lovely quote. Thankyou so much. Your post meant so much to Me!

I send you, Vera & your beautiful forever little Bella my warmest wishes. 

Daisy's mummy
Angelina 
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ShadowDad
Dear Chilover,
    What you are feeling is exactly what I have been feeling for 7 months since I lost my Shadow.  I have taken several steps backward in my grief.  I too have felt just a fragment of who I am.  I feel too that I am on an alien planet just uncomfortable with everything.  It's normal to feel this way after such a horrendous loss.  It is the most painful experience that has ever happened to me.  It's been 7 months, and I am still lost.  Trying to find some kind of meaning in a world that I don't want to be in any more.  I just want to be with my girl wherever she is.  I do believe though that they have transcended our cumbersome way of life to a higher plane if reality, but I do believe that they are still near.  And under the right circumstances we can communicate with them.  My heart goes out to you.  It us a brutal experience to live through.  Most days I just survive.  You are in my prayers.  I am so very sorry for the loss of your soul mate.
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Memories_of_Marmalade
Dear ShadowDad,

I had read a lot of comments since I lost my cat Marmalade but have never read what you just wrote, which I found very, very poignant and profound:

"I feel too that I am on an alien planet just uncomfortable with everything." 

That is how I feel too. As if I am on some alien planet and no longer belong here.

And this other line you wrote rang true to me also:

"Trying to find some kind of meaning in a world that I don't want to be in any more."

: ** /

Thank you for your depth of thought and eloquence.

Kind regards,
James
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chilover
ShadowDad 

Thankyou kindly for sharing. I too feel like I am on an alien planet. If I were in a large crowd I would still feel lonely because I feel so disconnected to the world. Nothing matters anymore....I like to keep her memory alive & I feel like that is what is  keeping me going right now.

I like the thought of them still being near. One day I hope to encounter a sign of her being close to me. I would love to communicate with my 
girl. I don't know how this can be done.but I am open to it & hope she will come. This coming Thursday I will be visiting my church to light a candle for my girl and you and Shadow will be in my prayers too..

Sending comfort and peace 
Daisy's mummy 
Angelina 


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