1115
I lost my beloved basset hound, Ellie Mae, on 12/27/19. The pain has been unbearable. I miss her so much it hurts. She turned 13 this July and her health was declining. I knew that I would not have her another year, but her death was so spontaneous, I am still in shock about it. Around 10 p.m. on 12/26 Ellie was making several attempts to vomit before she made it outside. After she went outside and came back in the house her stomach looked like it had been pumped full of air. She also had foamy saliva around her mouth. When I seen her stomach I was terrified and I told my son we have to get to the ED immediately. I was trying to keep it together but had the feeling my sweet Ellie was in her last hours. About that time, my husband came in from work and Ellie was struggling to breathe with labored breathing. We carried her to the truck on a blanket and rushed her to the nearest ED. On the drive there I held her and sang to her as she continued to struggle to breathe. My heart dropped when I seen that her tongue and gums were cyanotic (turning blue/pale). My tears flowed down my face as I held her tightly and sang. We pulled up to the ED and my husband blew the horn over and over. Staff came rushing and they took my sweet Ellie inside. They placed my family and I in a room where the vet come to share the bad news. Ellie’s stomach had flipped and was completely occluded. This also impacts blood flow and oxygen flow which explains her labored breathing and cyanotic gums/ tongue. The only option to correct “bloat” is surgery (4-6,000 dollars). The vet explained it was a tough surgery for dogs to recover from and an intensive recovery process of at least 2 weeks. Given Ellie’s age and other existing conditions her survival rate was low. The blood left my brain as I knew I could not put her through this. I was devastated. I’m still working through guilt....”did I do the right thing.” I know I’m hurting and have been so depressed for days now. I haven’t been sleeping or eating. My body hurts. I’m praying I will see her in my dreams. I just want to know she is ok. I got Ellie when she was 8 weeks old and she has been with me a long time. We had a special connection and loved one another so very much. I love you my Ellie Mae forever and always. Looking forward to getting your memorial package tomorrow so at least I know your home with me.
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Dino_927
James, happy new year., I hope your heart is doing well. The holidays were no the same without Dino, and we still are programed to coming home looking for him, thinking that we need to get home. Having him on the bed. You understand. We were recently heartbroken when there was a boutique animal store that had abused maybe 20 little dogs. They were removed to a shelter for care, health etc. They were supposed to be ready for adoption in 4-6 weeks. So Vicki waited every day looking on their site. Finally after 6 weeks we were told that all the puppies were adopted by people who work at the shelter. We were crushed.
So we are back to trying to decide when will be adopt another fur ball. As you know small dogs go quickly, and believe this, there are usually fees of over a thousand for adoption. 
I still am carrying my guilt, that I should have known quicker that something was wrong. I saw the black poops and in a human is usually a bleed in the stomach. I never saw any red spots maybe that woudl have helped. I dont think that too much time was lost. I hope not. This has played a part in my sadness and depression that I am using the occasion to retire from practice. It has been 37 years anyway. Its not the only reason, but it did play a small part.

We will adopt again, but for the moment we are still broken. Best wishes for a healthy happy new year.

dennis

 
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Dear Lindsey,

I am so saddened to learn of your recent loss of your beloved Ellie Mae (< What a delightful name! Was it based upon the Beverly Hillbilly's TV series? I seem to recall they had a basset hound on the show, which was taken care of by the daughter character "Ellie Mae" who loved animals. I always marveled at her menagerie on the show.) 

By your writing in your post you can see that Ellie may have been your "Spirit Animal" thus the deep connection you felt with her.

As you know an average lifespan for a dog is around 10 years, in the wild or on the streets, so the fact that your pup lived as long as she did is remarkable. She lived a long, full life, filled with love, joy, affection and knowing that she was part of your family.

We've learned many important things here on this forum if you haven't been here before. And one key bit of information when it comes to the final demise and the possible choices involved, in how our beloved's may pass away is:

"There is often no perfect choice or decision. You're going to regret whatever choice you make."

1.) If we choose to allow a pet to suffer until the end and pass from natural circumstances, we regret it. Thinking perhaps we should have sought additional medical treatment

2.) If we choose to allow a pet to suffer until the end and pass from natural circumstances, we regret it. Thinking perhaps we should put them to sleep to avoid them suffering.

3.) If we choose to have a pet treated by a Vet or Animal Hospital, and prolong medical intervention and do whatever it takes to try and help keep them alive, we think that we should not have put them through additional treatments and that perhaps we were selfish in doing so.

4.) If we didn't see the signs quickly enough, we may not have sought medical treatment fast enough and regret not doing so.

5.) We blame ourselves for a Vet or Animal Hospital not adequetly treating or saving our lost beloved. And think we should have taken them elsewhere or sought anothe opinion. Even though we may not have medical background or degree in animal medicine.

So in the end, we endlessly 2nd guess or choice(s). It is like an endless loop in our mind going over and over, attempting to analyze our choices & decisions. And the truth is there is NO right answer. Unless our pet somehow, often miraculously survives and is given more time.

The key evidently is to just breath, and allow time to pass. Someone that 2nd guessing slows down, and then only rears its ugly head every now and then again, and then that stops too. And we realize that we did the best we could do at the time to try to best serve our beloved's, based upon the information we had at the time and under the circumstances.

I am glad that your path crossed with Ellie Mae's when it did and that she was an important entity in your life. And that for a significant amount of time she knew love, kindness, care, compassion and companionship. And that she provided you with love, kindness, compassion and companionship in return. All dogs should be so blessed and all humans should be so blessed to experience such unconditional and pure love and devotion from another living being.

Soon, only your most cherished memories will come to mind when you think of your beloved. I am living proof of that as are many, many of our grief veterans here.

So please be gentle with yourself and just continue to travel through time. Your mind and body will continue to heal. All you have to do is allow your built-in healing factor to do its job and it will. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, night by night, week by week and yes, month by month. Just breath. Your grief will begin to let up soon and then it will continue to dissipate. There are good people here Lindsey and they will help you through your grief the way that they have helped me. This forum has been a real God send for me.

I wish you and your family healing and peace in this new year.

Kindest regards & my sincerest condolences,
James

(Please excuse the comment from Dennis, at times people do communicate with one another on various threads to just endeavor to stay in touch with one another.)

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Memories_of_Marmalade


Hi Doc Dennis,

Good to hear from you. This thread is actually a new one started by Lindsey aka 1115 FYI. I explained above that you posted to just stay in touch and that that does happen here. It is good to hear from you again. Lindsey also recently lost a pup and is heartbroken.

I totally understand. I'm glad you are considering adopting again. As you well know, there are so, so many animals in dire, desperate need of a home and to be adopted. They need love, care, compassion, kindness and affection, the same way that humans do as we all know. It is such an important thing to do and admirable IMO. To endeavor to save "One life at a time." You've been doing that for decades as a Doctor, as you well know Doc. Which is so impressive in its own right. God bless you for that!

I wish you and yours a Happy, healthy, safe, warm, joyous and prosperous New Year 2020! ~

Thanks for touching base.

Kind regards,
James
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BoxerMomForever
I’m very sorry about Ellie Mae. Hugs to you. You were a great pet parent. Please do not be hard on yourself. You did all you could do.
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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1115
Thank Everyone for the kind words. I really appreciate the support during this difficult time. I have attached a picture of my beautiful Elli Mae.
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tamamick
I cried reading your message. I lost my Oreo 11/29/2019 due to her stomach bloating and twisting. Our comfort is she didnt suffer. Her happened three days after TPLO surgery. She was on a high dose of pain killers and the vet thubk she just laid down becuase she felt off and went to sleep and it happened in her sleep. We came home to find her. She was about to turn three.

After going though this myself and doing some research please no there was nothing you could have done. Even with the surgery only a small percentage will pull through. There is absolutely nothing to prevent this nor to notice it is happening until you see the bloat. With our girl her stomach did not fully bloat but it was enough to cause it to turn.

Just know that she knows you loved her. I struggle with the same guilt everyday. I left the house when hers happened and I blame myself everyday. But I know there was nothing that we could have done and I honestly do not know if I could have gone though what you did. I am so very sorry from the bottom of my heart. Please know you did everything you could, you got her to the vet where she was helped the best way she could have been. She felt love when she left this world and I truly believe they stay with us until we are ready. I feel my Oreo on the days when my heart is hurting, my other dogs left me know she is there. Nothing will replace her but it does get, I dont want to say better, but manageable. Take it day by day.

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Adriane_d
So sorry for your loss. I lost my Isabella very sudden and traumatic.
Please use this wonderful kind words from other pet loving people to help get thru this time. I love it. Be kind to yourself. Think of all the happy times
And know that she running with all the others over the rainbow bridge.
Adriane Isabella mom
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1115
Thanks everyone for your support. Ellie Mae has been gone three weeks and four days now. I miss her so much and will have moments were I just burst out in tears. I’m so sad that our time together is over. I’m confused on whether she knew what was happening when she died. Did she know it was coming? Should I have been having conversations with her to prepare her? Does her spirit understand next steps? This is really bothering me as I’ve been reading a lot lately and one of the books I read said if a pet wasn’t prepared for death their spirit is confused and conflicted because they trying to get back to their owner. Anyone gave thoughts in this?
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Adriane_d
1115 wrote:
I lost my beloved basset hound, Ellie Mae, on 12/27/19. The pain has been unbearable. I miss her so much it hurts. She turned 13 this July and her health was declining. I knew that I would not have her another year, but her death was so spontaneous, I am still in shock about it. Around 10 p.m. on 12/26 Ellie was making several attempts to vomit before she made it outside. After she went outside and came back in the house her stomach looked like it had been pumped full of air. She also had foamy saliva around her mouth. When I seen her stomach I was terrified and I told my son we have to get to the ED immediately. I was trying to keep it together but had the feeling my sweet Ellie was in her last hours. About that time, my husband came in from work and Ellie was struggling to breathe with labored breathing. We carried her to the truck on a blanket and rushed her to the nearest ED. On the drive there I held her and sang to her as she continued to struggle to breathe. My heart dropped when I seen that her tongue and gums were cyanotic (turning blue/pale). My tears flowed down my face as I held her tightly and sang. We pulled up to the ED and my husband blew the horn over and over. Staff came rushing and they took my sweet Ellie inside. They placed my family and I in a room where the vet come to share the bad news. Ellie’s stomach had flipped and was completely occluded. This also impacts blood flow and oxygen flow which explains her labored breathing and cyanotic gums/ tongue. The only option to correct “bloat” is surgery (4-6,000 dollars). The vet explained it was a tough surgery for dogs to recover from and an intensive recovery process of at least 2 weeks. Given Ellie’s age and other existing conditions her survival rate was low. The blood left my brain as I knew I could not put her through this. I was devastated. I’m still working through guilt....”did I do the right thing.” I know I’m hurting and have been so depressed for days now. I haven’t been sleeping or eating. My body hurts. I’m praying I will see her in my dreams. I just want to know she is ok. I got Ellie when she was 8 weeks old and she has been with me a long time. We had a special connection and loved one another so very much. I love you my Ellie Mae forever and always. Looking forward to getting your memorial package tomorrow so at least I know your home with me.
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Adriane_d
So like a very sad loss. I just want to say remember the best time with Ellie.. picture her running free over the rainbow bridge. For me I lost Isabella in pitbull attack je saved my life that. Just a always a protector. That was 8months ago my if unbearable at time. She she an angel.now..
Keep Ellie close to.your heart. Adriane Isabella Mom
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tamamick
I have been struggling with the same questions. I often wonder if she hates me because I was not home when her bloat happened. I came home to find her gone. Our vet has assured me, he feels it happened in her sleep because she was not stressed. I only can tank god she was on a high dose of pain killers.

I took sometime to chat with a minster at my uncle's funeral about this. God does things out of love is what he told me. I am still trying to find out how this was out of love. But he also told me they will not leave until we are ready. I truly believe that. I miss Oreo badly. I would trade anything to have her at home. She would have been 1 and a half months into her recovery. She would be a le to be with her siblings about this time and climb back up on the bed. I makes me cry just typing this. But I know she is here still. It took me sometime to feel it. My other dogs on days still do things as if she were near. Hercules customer to the side of the kennel as if Oreo was spread out next to him. Hercules will grab one of her toys and lay it next to thier bed, like when she were her to play. He sleeps on the edge of the bed when she would take up the room between us. I feel an extra set of paws in my back in the middle of the night.

They dont leave until we are ready. I knew Oreo is still with us. I know she is trying to help with Mollie. It's hard. I still burst out crying. I still try and hold on to her things. Time is you worst enemy but it is also a friend. With time things will become manageable. I know there are days where it feels like it just happened and days were it feels like months ago.

I dont think your pup blames you or is lost. She knows you did everything in your power to help her. She knows you loved her and she knows how much pain is in her heart. She will find her way to you. I truly believe that dogs will come back to us one day, reincarnated into another one. I also believe that when it is our time, they will be waiting for us.

If you need to cry, please cry. Let it out. Know there are people here that understand what you are going though and are here when things get rough. They have helped me greatly.
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632154
Prayers and hugs sent to you i know how you feel i lost my last two chis last year some days are better than others this is the first time i have been without a fur baby in 25 years i do ask God to help me through each day because i know without him i would not be able to so trust in the Lord he will get you through God Bless
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1115
It has been 8 weeks since I lost Ellie. I’m still dealing with grief and miss her so much around the house. She was my spirit animal and we had a deep connection with one another. Still praying she will come see me in my dreams. My son and I went to the local animal shelter today and fed all the dogs milk bone biscuits. There was one dog’s personality that reminded me of Ellie’s. It appeared she had recently had babies. She was sweet and was interacting with me and my son. It was a great time and it felt good to give back to the dogs.
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