lvl619
I tragically lost my pug one month ago. I left him outside in the yard before I left for work, as I usually do. He had access to shade and water but it happened to be a terribly hot day. I found him already gone when I came home from work. I fell to the floor screaming and crying, touching him, trying to wake him up. He was my best friend and loyal companion. Slept in my bed every night, followed me everywhere I went. I loved him more than anything, my sweet boy. For the first couple of weeks I could not eat or sleep. I felt physically sick and disgusted and I still blame myself. I deserve to suffer for what I did to him. I should have just left him in the house that day, but I didn't know it would be so hot. I don't know what to do without him. Will I ever see him again? I am trying to remember the good times we shared, but how can I go on without the unconditional love of my goofy little boy???? I am barely making it through each day. I keep hoping he will appear in my lap. My sweet boy, gone too soon.. all because of me. 
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sallygirlsmommy
Hello, I am so very sorry for the loss of your little boy. I think I understand how you feel. Mine was a little girl rat terrior names Sally. On Wednesday evening I realized she wasn't in her usual chair that she would sit on before we would all go to bed. I had been busy and didn't make sure she was in before dark. A big dog attacked her and though we took her to the emergency vet she had a lot of injuries and her spine was brocken. We waited a couple of day but with no improvement decided to put her to sleep. Now I'm up crying and wandering if I did the right thing.
You know I believe that our babies know how much we love them. They can sense it. They know that we wouldn't intentionally hurt them for the world. You were wonderful to him! You let him sleep in your bed. He could go outside and play. He had shade so he wouldn't get to hot. You did everything you knew to do. He knows that and loves you dearly.
I think both of need to remember that our babies are very happy. They are running and playing and looking forward to the time when we will be with them again. And we will be with them again. But until then God is taking care of them for us.
I will be praying that God will comfort you to night and in the coming days. Cry as much as you need to. I believe God gives tears to help wash away the pain
Bless you, warmly, Yvonne
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RobertandJack
I really feel especially sad for you as You feel that you are directly to blame.  That is a burden on your heart and will linger.  Whatever you thought you should have done will always be with you.  We are human and we suffer ourselves.  At least those of us who really care do.  We are all is such a rush anymore that we sometimes don't think very clearly and do things that if we had more time would have been done differently.  Sometimes through no act of our own we do not suffer a tragedy for it.  Then there are those times that we do.  God know us and knows that you did not do harm with intent.  God will forgive you and your sweet boy will forgive you.  You now have to forgive yourself.  You are a good human who loved a sweet pug. ( My son had a pug and she was a sweety)  I hope you can overcome this in time.  It is difficult.

Roberts Mom
Jacks Mom
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ddp
I have lost 3 pets over the years.  With the exception of 1 who died of old age, the rest of died of undetected health issues. Guilt is always part of the grieving process.  In each case, I beat myself up.  Why didn't I know? What did I miss? If I had done something different, would it have made a difference?  As people say, "Hindsight is always 20/20"

What I have always done is to educate myself. One of my pet's, Cheech a 6 lb Chihuahua died from kidney failure 4 years ago. After his death I learned a lot about prevention including the fact of how crucial dental care is for dogs (bacterial infections caused by dental issues can cause the kidney's to work a lot harder and an overwhelming dental infection can cause kidney failure).  I learned what to look for early.  As a responsible pet parent I have taken every step to ensure that this not happen to one of my dogs again.  I am meticulous about dental hygiene now.................I was not with my first Chihuahua. 

Max, my big boy who died 2 months ago, he died from an undetected spleen tumor. He was a mixed breed and I didn't even know that he was at risk for a spleen tumor.  I was ignorant I didn't ask my vet the right questions and he did not volunteer the info.  Now, from my research, if I had been aware I could have added a sonogram to his annual sr physical beginning at age 9.  But I didn't know.

Because of my desire to be the best pet parent I can be, I use every opportunity as a learning opportunity.

I am picking up a new rescue dog on Nov 17. My new little boy is a Shin Tzu.  I can't tell you the amount of research I have done regarding his needs and his potential health risks.  I have found for example that due to his breed (flat face) he does not handle heat well. I found that it is best to provide him with special food bowls so he can eat without aspirating (breathing food up thru his nose that can cause an infection in his lungs) I found so much all with the intention of being a responsible pet parent.

Guilt is a normal part of the grieving process............but don't waste that pain.  Learn from it.

Denise
DDP
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