Thank you so much for your beautiful and kind note regarding Maggie. I just got off the phone with the vet, and she does not believe it was tick paralysis that took my sweet Maggie's life. However Maggies symptoms and what I read still haunts me. I think what I want is closure as to how I lost my beautiful girl. Not having an answer is so very difficult.
I absolutely understand what you mean. You have an intense need to understand the hows and the whys, but even if you had those answers, you cannot turn back time. It was Maggie's time and she was fortunate to have her beloved near when it came.
I want you to know that most everyone here can relate, however. We all have had those feelings, those questions, those regrets over the what-ifs, we blame ourselves for things we could not have known or understood. So in this respect what you're going through is completely normal.
I'm glad you spoke to your vet, you may not have gotten the answer you wanted, but I feel it was important that you knew it was out of no error of your own.