Tabby
Yesterday my cat got hit by a car. He managed to get from road to hiding under our car. He was meowing in pain. Bleeding from nose, mouth, eye and ear and his paw looked injured. I brought him to pet er and they assesed him and told me they needed to take xrays to see what damage was, he would need to be there at least a few days. Roughly the starting amount would be $2000. I don't have that money and it broke my heart to tell them that. They said my cat was in dire condition and would probably go into cardiac shock soon. I made the decision to put him to sleep. It sure wasn easy but today I feel like I made decision too quickly. My head was spinning as they were telling me all this. I know he is not in pain anymore but what if they did xrays and there was no internal injuries and didn't need surgery? I feel I didn't think it out enough and let them at least do xrays. Guilt and regret has taken over.
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Zoeylove
Hi Tabby,
I'm so very sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through.  I think there is probably not one person on these boards who hasn't ended up second guessing their decision at some point.  I hope it helps to know that it is a natural step in the grieving process.  
Our brains are trying to grasp the trauma, the bewilderment over our experience, the loss of that presence.

I know it is very hard to combat the guilt when it seeps in - but please have faith that you made what your heart felt was the right decision while it was happening.  I think when we are no longer in that trauma, it is normal to second guess ourselves... however, in that moment, you took it all in, you were advised by the vet, and most of all you were experiencing your baby in pain.  You chose to put her peace over your own.  A very very difficult thing to go through, but in time I think you will make your peace with it and realize it was right.  Keep sharing your feelings on here - a very supportive and understanding community.

Sending you hugs...


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Tabby
Thank you. Your words make sense. All the combined emotions at once are making me a total mess. On top of the regrets and 2nd quessing is the realization that he is no longer here is brutal. I keep expecting to see him come around the corner. If I had the money I would of had them try and save him. Its just not fair that financial status had to be more important then my cats life. So heart breaking. I feel I let him down because of it. Thanks again for your reply.
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winstonsmom12
Tabby I'd Like to add my condolences for the loss of Tabby.  I know all to well the enormous cost of vets.  I couldn't afford all the testing on Winston to find out his exact diagnosis.  I knew he was very old, and suffering.  I am still paying off the bills from the Emergency Hospital.  I am very appreciative to them that they let me pay over time.  They were there when Winston and I needed it the most.

I have a lot of guilt over this also, I am on Disability and the money just wasn't there.  That doesn't mean you or I didn't love our babies enormously.  Your Tabby was obviously in bad shape.  The only thing on your mind at that time was not to see your baby suffer anymore. I know it was on my mind.  It is an extremely tough decision for any pet owner.  I feel you did the right thing at that time, as I did.  I wish you peace through your grief.  Hugs  Sue  P.S  If I had a million dollars I would have GLADLY  Paid anything to save My Winston
Susan
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Zoeylove
Sorry - just realized that I kept calling your kitty "her" and not a "him".  I had a female tabby - force of habit I guess!

Your feelings all make sense - expect to experience a bit of a rollercoaster.  

If it's helpful and you have a good relationship with your vet, try calling them or writing to them about how you are struggling with coming to terms with the decision you had made.  I can bet that they will tell you that you did the most humane and unselfish thing that could have been done.  I don't think they would have supported your decision just because of the financial angle - perhaps I'm wrong, but that seems pretty unethical.  I am going to imagine that they too felt strongly that doing an x-ray was going to only prolong his suffering and confirm what they already knew - that it was not good.  It might be helpful to remember, most doctors - human and animal doctors alike are trained to always push the envelope and keep making recommendations and trying to save lives.  This does NOT mean that their suggestions to treat/test more are the best approach to the situation.  And in your situation I think you were given clear signs anyway that it was a dire one and best to spare him anymore pain.

I know the night before we had our cat Zoey euthanized because of lung cancer and her beginning to suffer, our vet was on the phone with us saying, well -- we could try to control the symptoms by putting her on a steroid and continuing to tap her lungs when the fluid builds up, yada yada.  As soon as we expressed that we were leaning towards euthanizing, he wholeheartedly agreed it was the best thing for her.  I kept trying to guide myself to make the best decision for her and not for myself.  You did this too - it is not easy.

Hang in there and be kind to yourself.  

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JerseyNonna
tabby, i'm so sorry to hear of your loss of such a wonderful companion.  please know that the decision you made fully came from your heart and no matter what I believe we all are instinctively in tune with our loved friends to the point where the xray would not have shown anything your heart already didn't suspect.  you did the right thing for your tabby and please never doubt that.  it's also a sad state of humanity when vets notice how much a pet means to it's owner and won't be more sympathetic and financially work with them.  one of my new favorite shows is "dr jeff, rocky mountain vet" and in every exam his first concern is for the pet's life and not the almighty dollar - heck he even helped a homeless man save his dog!  I do realize vet school is expensive but when someone enters that field they should have the humanity to help for the right reasons - to save a life that means a whole heck of a lot to those of us who don't have much money to begin with.  please know we're here for you hon and many many hugs and prayers to you.  your tabby is probably back at home in spirit to watch over you and you both will be reunited one day.  you gave him that final gift of love allowing him to cross the bridge to no pain and full health.  it was the most difficult choice you will ever make but sometimes the right decisions are the most painful for us.  I had to let my service dog roxie cross the bridge when her suddenly fell ill the evening after Christmas and I did selfishly agree to have the er vet do cpr when her huge heart stopped but as soon as the words were out of my mouth my heart knew it was the wrong decision.  yup, sometimes the best decision for our loved companions is the absolute worse one for us.  many hugs!
JerseyNonna
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Tabby
Thank you everyone for replying. Your words mean alot. I've cried all day, just can't seem to stop. I just want my Linus back. I wish I agreed to the alone time they offered after he was gone. Regrets are killing me. It sucks that crucial decisions have to be made in that frame of mind. Thank you again everyone.
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Julia_Loves_McCartney
Hello Tabby,

I am so sorry for your loss. It's important to know that Linus is pain free and in Heaven right now. And this is the way the Lord thought was best for him.

It's hard to stop thinking about it, I understand. I still do two years later. The grief comes in waves. I've been ok lately, but today I've been thinking about my boy a lot.

Sending prayers your way. Linus is such an adorable name by the way.

~I love you eternally, McCartney boy~

You can visit my kitty McCartney's Rainbow Bridge Memorial here: http://www.rainbowbridge.com/residents/MCCAR001/Resident.htm

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Tabby
Thank you. Linus was a cool name but my nickname for him was Boogie, he had a little long patch of a different color fur like it was booge coming out of his nose. I'm sorry for your loss as well. It sure isn't easy.
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