AngelWings
Tonight i hugged and kissed the forehead of my very best friend in the whole world for the last time. This time i hoped it would be easier. After saying goodbye to her sister in 2013 and feeling like there was no escape from the pain and it would literally consume me, surely doing it for a second time round and knowing what to expect would make it easier...right?!?!

3 years ago Angel was diagnosed with Heart Failure and given a maximum of 18 months to live. It was like de ja vu when we got the diagnosis because it was the same disease her sister died of and just hearing the world “i hear a little murmur” from the vet bought me to uncontrollable tears. I never wanted to go through the pain again of waiting for the clock to run out. Kissing and cuddling my best friend every day only to wonder which kiss and cuddle would be my last. I took her to every specialist in the state and got her on every medication possible but deep down i knew she couldn’t live forever. A few weeks ago, everything started going downhill and i knew we were nearing the end. Tonight she looked at me with those gorgeous brown eyes and she told me she couldn’t fight any more and i knew it would be selfish of me to make her, so i made the decision to let her go.

I am struggling so much. The pain is just like last time. It’s raw, it’s debilitating and it’s the most helpless feeling in the world. Please someone tell me how to make it easier? I just can’t go through this again. I want so badly to be strong but after having a little shadow in your life for 16 years and then suddenly having that taken from you, life just seems unbearably impossible.
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GodzillasMom
AngelWings, I am so sorry for your loss.
I too just lost my fur baby, I had him since he was six weeks old and he was six weeks shy of his 15th birthday.  He pass on March 28, 2018.
It is the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life.
I want him back but I want to believe that when they crossed over, they received new bodies, no more pain, no more sickness and no more death.
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sds
I am so very sorry for your loss.  I know how raw and debilitating the pain is right now.  These are the worst times and things do get better. 

I wish I had surefire ideas for how to make it easier, but unfortunately, I can't think of anything specific.  Though it seems we are only able to tolerate so much pain and then our mind/heart responds with denial or guilt or something to distract us for awhile until we can handle it again.  For me/all of us here(?) the early days were the hardest where the pain was so sharp and unbearable, the loss being so enormous; I couldn't imagine living without my Scout.  As time passed, it became more "bearable" though still painful.  I agree that "the only way out is through."  Though it's not particularly comforting early on.  I found it helpful to cry and grieve whenever I needed to.  I took walks and found solace in nature.  I also found comfort in books and forum posts, chatrooms and talking with anyone who will listen with compassion.  I haven't gone to any support groups yet but that may be helpful.  I also called a pet loss hotline (e.g. a quick search online will give you several, e.g. Tufts University) and spoke with a volunteer -- I found it helpful to speak with someone one on one - they are usually available in the evenings or on certain days of the month.  I also called one of my kitty's vets just to talk through things, to see if there was anything else I could have done.  I am still working through feelings of guilt.  She was very kind and supportive. 

I do hope you will find some periods of respite during this terrible time.  I wish you comfort, peace and healing in the weeks to come.  
Sharon
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Lamont
Angel had a special mom. Your commitment and bravery when things got tough,  tells me she had a great life with you. She was so lucky to have you at her sde.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. 

Bertie's Daddy
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3266
So sorry for your loss, I lost my Roxie 2 weeks ago, miss her every day it hurts so much she was my best friend I loved her so much and keep hoping it will get easier but it doesn't, nothing is the same anymore, our house isn't a home without my girl, people tell me to get another dog and eventually I hope I can but right now I don't want another dog I want my girl back
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