3100
Hi, I recently joined here seeking a place to feel less alone and more among a community of people who have experienced the same thing. It's been a difficult month, the grieving has continued on and the healing hasn't happened even with having 2 cats now. I lost my Gracie back in the fall of 2011 and every March I made the birthday last all 31 days. And today she is 11. This year it has hit me especially hard and I felt it starting two months back and getting worse with each day as March approached. She was a great companion, a best friend, so much fun, and very, very low maintenance. Very playful and everything felt so simple with her around. 

In the 7-1/2 years she was with us I was the only one she never once hissed at. She was very pampered, protected, loved and cared for. All great memories of her, lots of things I still laugh about that she did. 

At the time I adopted the 2 kittens who are now 3-1/2, I needed company. I knew the healing wasn't going to happen overnight or in the short term but holidays without Gracie just don't feel right. It just seems like such a lonely, empty time and I know part of it is because of her age. But I feel like it's just so unfair that she was taken so young. 

This month I have been going through some thoughts of having traveled while she was here, knowing that somebody would be here to care for her if I was away, and the last time I was away, I returned home to have only one full day more with her before things got worse. And now I'm hesitant to travel again. I can't shake the guilt in this, the feeling that if I go away anywhere, bad things will happen and I can't have that. I'm just really scared to be away again. That there's a safety in being close, being home. I miss when everything was simple and good with Gracie, and today being her birthday it's all I've been thinking about. 

Thank you to anyone who reads this. I really do appreciate it. 


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BellesMom
So sorry to hear about your Gracie. I can completely relate to missing the "simple times" with your pet. The first several years of our first pets' lives were so simple and fun! Our recent dog's short life with us was so complicated and traumatic. I don't know how I will move on from all the complex emotions surrounding her sudden death.

Hope you find peace and the strength to move forward with living life and traveling again. It's normal to be fearful of things associated with your former pet's death and being a little overprotective of your new babies. Maybe you can begin with trips closer to home and build up to destinations further away to reduce anxiety.

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jonancy
So sorry you are so lost without Gracie. I'm feeling the same way with losing my dachshund six weeks ago. What a wonderful thing you did for her birthdays, making it for the whole month. Try to remember the good times on her birthday, I know this is hard..and Happy Birthday Gracie with the others at the bridge.

Hugs
Jonancy...Scooters mama
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Leahbeahis
I can empathize with you about missing the simple times. You never know how good you have it until it's gone. You take for granted the times you have with your fur baby and they are healthy and happy. I think that's what causes the pain of grief. Happy Birthday Gracie!

~ Leah
~ Leah
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3100
Thank you for your responses and the birthday greetings for Gracie. Today hasn't felt much better for me but I'm hanging in there. The memories have been very strong. I'm just glad I found a site like this to be among others who are there or have been in the same place as me. Hope you all are doing well today.
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