Yep, I'm still a mess.
For today is the day that brings 4 months of pain and agony.
Sydney's final 2 weeks still ravage my brain, and day after day, I still question myself.
The pain she endured from pancreatitis, her hospital stay for 3 days, only to bring her home, and see her breathing labored? I thought to myself, why is she not doing so well?
And on that day....12~1~10, we were given another blow to our hearts.

Congestive heart failure.

It all made sense, her pancreatitis was failing, as most organs do with CHF.
But why.....why did this happen?
I feel so blessed for the beautiful 9 1/2 years, then again, I feel robbed because she was so young, especially for a boston terrier.

Sydney, we miss you so much. Life will never be the same, but we will manage to get through the tough times. We have such precious memories of you that will never fade. Just know little girl, that we will always be yearning for your presence. I hope your smile is from ear to ear, and you are prancing with every step. Please come by to visit us as often as you can, we will be waiting for more signs. Mommy and daddy love you sweet girl.

Until we meet again~
I love you Sydney
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I am so sorry that you are still in so much pain. I certainly understand the pain and remember it well. I really believe talking to an animal communicator helped me take a giant leap out of despair. I still miss my boy like crazy, but things are better.

You wrote a beautiful note to Sydney. I know she feels your love and is sending it back.

Thinking about you during this mile marker!
Chipper's Mom

Momma's Chipper Boy (9/19/95 - 1/30/11) My heart, my love, my buddy! I miss you and love you so, so much! I can't wait to see you at the bridge! Love, Mommy

Lady "Ladybugs" (8/2/03 - 6/5/17) My sweet girl. Thanks for the walks, playtime, sock collection, boo boo kisses and love you gave all of us. We will miss you dearly! Until we meet again...we love you!
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I'm so sorry you're hurting but find it so beautiful that the love you carry is so strong. 

"Anniversaries" of the loss are tough.  Thinking of you and sending you blessings...
We may not be together in the way we used to be, but we are still connected by a cord no eye can see.
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I understand .....its almost 8 months, and there is a time almost every day that I cry for Maddie. But handle life better day to day now. Healing will take as long as it takes for each person. Know that we understand. Judy

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It's just been one week for me, but I still feel the shock and disbelief. Sometimes I'm just numb. I feel guilty when something or someone does make me laugh, but when I think that they would want us to feel better and when he keeps sending me signs, I feel slightly better than last week.

It's so hard because they are so entwined with us.

My Reilly was only allowed to become 10 years old, which is too young! I have the same feelings of being robbed.
Reilly, I will love you forever. I will see you at the Rainbow Bridge.
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Let me just say that all of you are so very kind.
I know that I am not alone, but sometimes I feel lonely, and only wish that the people close to me understood. Death is always hard to overcome, but for an animal with all of the unconditional love for you, it is so horrible to see them suffer like that. I keep telling my husband that she didnt deserve it. Thank you all for your beautiful words...I am so sorry for your loss as well. May we all be there for each other.
I love you Sydney
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Sydney, I'm sorry that you are still feeling lonely.  My sweetheart cat Duffy passed on Jan 1st.  He had terrible kidney problems that couldn't be fixed and it was the most difficult decision that we could make.  The memories of him will also go on forever.  Like you, I've had some signs that Duffy is okay, but it's been awhile.  I hope we can all get more signs that our little ones are okay.  I realize that it is such a long path to accepting the loss of our little ones.  I believe we will all see them again, it's what helps us go on.  We can't get over the loss, but hopefully in time it'll be easier to get used to them not being right with us, but always in our hearts and hopefully having signs that they are okay.

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Im so sorry for your loss.  I know just how you feel.  I lost my buddy just last thursday.  3 days after his fourth birthday i had to make a decision that has changed my life forever.  Buddy was a loving friendly beautiful Rottie.  About a year ago he started having frequent seizures.  Last weekend he had a total of 5.  Medication was not working.  He seized every ten days.  I am new to this website but was glad to find it existed.  I hope to meet some people who know just how i feel.  My heart goes out to you at your loss.

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Thanks everyone,
I am so glad to be able to vent my feelings, and have you all to understand the pain.

We made the decision to send her to heaven the same day we found out that her heart was failing(12.1.10). She was in such bad shape, and to see her struggling to breath was heart wrenching. The vet offered again to keep her overnight to administer heart meds, but I couldn't bear the possibility of her not making it, and dying without us there. What if?
They say that once you see the signs of CHF, it is at the end stage
Some animals can live on meds, but have so many restrictions, and I just know that her quality of life would no longer be fun and happy anymore.

I hope we did the right thing.
I love you Sydney
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