ruffie
Today marks the 2 month anniversary (?) since my sweet man left me for the beauty of the bridge.  How do I feel? At this very moment, only sad, but not the gut wrenching pain of so many other moments. You are here with me, your picture, your special candle and always, the fur in my locket. It is so hard not to see your loving face, and scratchy nose rubbing my leg.  I miss coming home and having you greet me. I miss you sleeping by my bed, waiting to trip me in the night :)  I miss every part of you. I know its gross, but I still cant get the cleaned, because your blood is still there. I dont care. Its the last physical remnent I have of you. I think about taking your ashes to our spot to spread them, but I cant. I cant bear to part with any part of you. Maybe sometime, but not now.  Sasha, Leroy and Bruie still seem sad also. Sasha is a good girl (mostly), but she is so high strung and nervous with life, Leroy has the same sweet qualities as you had, probably learned them from you! If I can bring myself to spend the time and energy on them that they deserve, they too will be good companions, but never like you. You were special, you were my right hand man, my best ever camp buddy and the closest being anywhere to me. I love you so much and ALWAYS will. Run free and happy!! I will meet you when the time is right.

Ruffies Mom
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judylinn
It was 2 months for me on wednesday, and I still cry for Maddie. so I know how you feel. I too had good intentions to take Maddie's ashes to our special spots, and feel just like you...I can't part with any. We will when the time is right for us..and its okay however long that takes.
Animals grieve too, and your other animals are joined together with you, in your love for your baby. Have you tried talking to them. I believe that on some level, animals do hear us, I know that 1st hand.  It may help you bond with your other pals, just by talking to them about it all.
2 months seems like a long time, but when it is a love so deep, its just a drop in the bucket.  My prayers are with you.  Judy :)
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ruffie
Thank you Judy,
I AM trying to connect with them, but it feels like a sham. I do love them, and want to develop that bond, but Im just not sure how. Its too hot to take them anywhere we cant be outside, and I think Im kinda paranoid that if they leave the house, something bad might happen. I have a sick cat, and its almost more than I can accept. My beloved vet told me I have to trust my instincts, but Im not sure those are that sharp. My Ruffie might still be here if I did that. Maddie looks so sweet in her pics. I think you live alone, so I do hope you find another friend to fill your home and your heart soon, or as it is destined.  
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judylinn
Maybe thats all you can do right now, is go through the motions with them...thats okay, but it may be easier for all of you if you try talking to them.
For me, this pain will take a long time to heal from. maddie was the only family I have..no relatives either...
I am walking a dog name jake..yeloow lab...while the owners are away, and enjoying that.
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ruffie
ENJOY JAKE!! Take baby steps, and some day we will look back wistfully and not so painfully. I will do my best with the other beasts, as they arent really a burden, they, too are my friends, and trying to comfort me. I do and will talk to them, reminding them that I love them too. It will take time to develop that relationship, as I had Ruffie 13 blessed years. Sasha is only 4 and Leroy 2, so i guess its natural to take time to build those bonds. But it will never be the same :(
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donnalee
Hi Pam,
I'm sorry if I missed it but what kind of furbaby is Ruffie? Just curious.... I read on your other thread that you were not too good on the computer so I guess that is why you don't have an Avatar picture up.  It's so nice to see the pictures!  GrievingGinger just recently posted some really good directions about how to do different things on this website.  I'm going to go back and try to find those and direct you to them.
By the way, your attitude is so beautiful! 
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